CaptainBritton
Punished GN
Kuro
Dexter
A few hours into the night...
Vanessa stepped out, needing a moment from the constant hustle and bustle of the party to take in some fresh air. It was a welcome change from the clouds of smoke and marijuana, a quite moment to compose herself.
“Need a break?”
His voice shocked her, causing her to just about jump out of her own skin. But when she realize who it was, the most responding thought in her head was: They were different. Her hair grew out to the middle of her back while he cut off inches of his own. It had been two years since they'd broken up. There were invitations given but few words had actually been shared between them. Just pictures of new adventures spent without the other. The wounds left by what happened to them were mending. Time healed the worst of it, but time only does so much. The two were brought back together briefly for the funerals. But both had been largely little more than silent giants looking into one another’s lives. Unable to leave and always, always casting their shadows. It wasnt surprising to find him out here. He had always hated the smell of cigarette smoke and enjoyed the outdoor shenanigans of drunks.
It was just them, the silence of the night, and a small cloud of smoke that came out from the now closed door dispersing into nothing. They both downed a few drinks during the party. Alcohol made the conversation easier for the sake of their weathered hearts. She skipped the small talk, after all, they weren't strangers and asked him if he was still flying. She asked because she already knew the answer. Parts of her wanted nothing new of him.
"By tomorrow afternoon I'll be heading north," he said with a click of his tongue.
"Towards what exactly?"
He shrugged.
"Little airport with a grass strip. Heard there were good burgers up there," he told her, gripping his beer bottle.
"Are you still alone on these trips, Dex?"
"Sometimes," he responded. "I can easily say I'm never alone though; I'm always finding people to go on the ride with."
She scoffed. "Women included?"
He glared at the ground, deciding to take a drink before answering. "I'm just trying to make memories with other people now, V."
He remembered foolishly thinking that two years was enough time to move on, that next time he’s up with nothing in the sky but himself and the sea, he can look out at the horizon and her name won't come to mind. He can learn new names and faces and not think about her. But time is not kind to those that leave everything behind. Time is constant. Time preserves memories deep within an individual with thoughts and feelings they cannot shake.
"I know that," she told him. "I know you are—but promise, promise me that whoever you meet, tell them about us. Even if they're caught up with you. Warn them about what happens when people fall in love prematurely. Show them pictures of us at fifteen."
"Why fifteen?"
"Well," she breathed in, "I was ten when I first met you, and thirteen was when I knew for sure. We were fourteen when I told you I loved you," she said wistfully. "But fifteen was when we showed it."
He let out a curt, almost pained laugh. "I think fifteen was my favorite."
"It was mine too," she admitted, knocking her knees together. "But now we're older and I need you to let me know that even if you fall in love again please remember what happened to us."
It hurt him to talk about them. To remember and relive what they lost.
"How do you know I'm not in love right now, huh?" He questioned, his voice low and lips twisted. "I can have a girl waiting to call her and have her pick me up and you wouldn't know, so stop acting as I can never love someone again as I loved you."
He expected her to raise hell but she did not.
She didn't falter. She breathed in as her sea-glass eyes focused on the darkness of the sky above them.
"That's the thing," she paused, "you won't because people never love the same way twice."
"How do you know that?" he asked.
"Because I've been trying," she exclaimed, a hint of sadness on her smile. A bittersweet smile not of joy but acceptance.
Her frame looked smaller than he remembered. It stirred something in him. He almost reached over to pull her into his chest, to spill out every sin and prayer. He knew better to do such a rotten thing. If he held her once more, there would be no letting go. Instead, he took another brash sip of his beer and kept quiet.
"Look, I don't need you making the same mistakes," she voiced her wants. "What I need is to trust you to not break another person's heart. I need to know you'll be okay, with or without them. Whoever they turn out to be."
He listened to her request, heart open and exposed.
"Promise me you won't do the same thing to the next girl who loves you."
The glass shatters on the ground beneath them.
"Vanessa, I-"
"No!" She spat, turning to face him.
“Listen to me—remember me at my worst, remember me yelling at you to come back and crying to your mom when you wouldn't. Remember the broken coke bottles I threw and how your hand felt tightening my wrist. Remember the silence. Remember that I loved you and that you loved me but what we had wasn't enough."
They sat in silence beneath the hazy night sky. The inner thoughts he kept from her sat on the edge of his numb tongue. Messy, frazzled words he wanted to yell but held back because he knew he had no right. In another life, a life where he had the heart, Dexter broke the silence and cried out: "I remember it all. I remember that you were my first and how I just took for granted that I believed you'd be my last. I could never tell you then but it has made me better, loving you. Now, we are here and you're… guiding me to the next love of my life as if you know that I’m hopeless. The universe screamed at me and took away half my family and I dealt badly. How is any dumb kid supposed to know how to handle that? We were just kids. We just… did it wrong."
In this life, Dexter manages a concise, simple truth and tells Vanessa: "You know, I thought we would end up together in the end. Drinking lemonade as we watch our grandkids play in the garden, right under my mom's oak tree."
She laughed in a way that took him back to his youth. "So did your mom."
"You know there are still times that I look back at my rearview mirror and swear that you're standing at the end of the lot watching me drive off."
"And there are times I think maybe we'll meet again once we're older and our minds are less hectic, and everything will settle as the universe intended."
"You're such a romantic, V."
"Bite me," she quipped. "I'm pouring my heart out to you for the final time and that's your response."
He tensed up. He didn't like the way the final time poured out of her lips so easily.
"The thing is no matter what I say, sometimes you don't listen," she pointed out. "I know that there are people out there waiting for you to meet them and they won't be able to stop themselves from falling in love with you."
He placed his hands over hers as she continued.
"And maybe you'll find a pretty blonde, her eyes bluer than mine or green or brown or hazel. She'll be so sweet that it doesn't take much for you to fall. So even if I warn you to remember what the world does to people like us that fall in love, you're going to do it again anyway."
She tilted his face sideways to face her.
"That's who you are, Dex," she said with love, gripped his hand in her other palm. "You'll always go against the inevitable and I love you for it."
His eyes began to dwell with tears. Her smile was heavy with melancholy but just as sweet as he remembered. For a moment, they were fifteen again and life took them down a kinder path.
He let her wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry I left."
"I know."
"I'm sorry that I hurt you."
"Me too."
"I loved you, so much."
"I know, I remember."
The stayed in silence for a while longer. Eventually, Vanessa pulled away. “I need to go inside. I- uh, I have people. Waiting for me.”
Dexter nodded wordlessly, but allowed a small smile to let her know it really was okay. He watched her make her way to the door, but she stopped just as she reached for the door handle. “Oh, and Dex? You should call me. Sometime. Not tonight obviously cause-“
“Party.” He said, grinning now. Vanessa matched his, nervous and emotionally raw, but happy herself. She continued. “It’d be nice to have you around again. I miss your mom.”
“She misses you too. Now go. It’s your-“
“Party. I know.” She says with a laugh. “Thanks for coming, Dex.”
“Happy birthday, Vanessa.”
And like that he was alone again.
