Morose
Scrawl Banditta
Neziul
Blizz
Forsythe
BlueSky44
Achronum
Simply Not Real
Hey Im Jordan
Trainerblue192
Chase could barely meet Ben's eyes, which was ironic given he was already looking down. He looked up towards Danni, a silent thanks as he blasted away, keeping his end of the bargain. Screaming could be heard from around the ice walls that the deranged boy had created. ”Well shit. Is this school always so dramatic?” Chase gestured with his thumb towards the sounds of Sabine and Leah fighting. He'd have to thank Sabine for the mental pep talk later, even if he wasn't sure how.
“Couldn’t tell you.” Ben shrugged. “Though, to hear Danni tell it, this seems to be par for the course.” Ben could feel himself closing in on himself, taking up less space, as if that would keep him from having to have this conversation.
Cascade, April, whatever, was apologizing. Going off a mile a minute. She couldn’t have known. Hell, two weeks ago he hadn’t known. Not really. Damn, Ben thought. She is definitely Danni's sister.
“You didn’t know, and Danni got me out. I’ll be okay.” He waved off the apology, and then focused on Chase again. “Can we go somewhere else... Anywhere else?” He was not wanting to get away from Danni’s friends and family, but more that he didn’t want to have this conversation where people were recording. Especially since he was really worried he was about to be broken up with. He would have to mention to April if she did that again to make it have a way for him to climb out. Slick walls had made his own escape impossible, but if it had hand holds he would have been alright.
Chase held his hand out for Ben to take. His form of teleportation didn’t require physical touch, but with Ben it was always appreciated. He nodded towards him before speaking. ”Pretty sure my roommates within that mess so I think my room is clear to talk in if you want?”
Ben took Chase’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. ”Yeah, that works.” He stepped in closer, not quite fully pressing against Chase, but centimeters apart. ”You’ll probably laugh when you learn who my roommate is.”
Chase noticed the slight distance between himself and Ben, it wasn't much, but to him it felt like a canyon. His smile wavered as he let the shadows engulf them, appearing in an unpacked room with boxes on one side, Chase's side. Sheets hadn't even made it onto the bed as he gestured for Ben to sit on the bare mattress before he bit his lip and began to pace out. ”Is it Danni? That'd be a surprise given how close he and his siblings are. You'd think they'd room together, then again who knows maybe it's only two to a room?”
Ben sat, his hands folded in between his knees. ”Percy,” he said softly. At least he knew that Chase and Percy weren’t rooming. He didn’t think he could have handled that. It would have destroyed him, cracked him like an egg and he wouldn’t have been able to deal at all.
Chase paused in his steps. He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat again. ”Of course.” He let out a short dry chuckle, clearly not finding an ounce of humor in the situation. His hand balled up again, a small imperceptible wince on his face as he felt the cuts on his palms again, having forgotten about it entirely.
Ben was quiet, looking down at his shoes, they were new. His grandmother had given them to him. His mom’s mom, his uncle’s mom. She was too old to care for him. Too old to take him in and let him stay near his mates. Let his world stay stable. Better her than his father’s family. They didn’t get it. None of it. They were all normal. Not even a mutant. Just basic humans. Why was he thinking about them? Oh... of course. Was he about to be rejected? About to be left behind.
”So,” he started, his voice cracking. ”Where do we start?” His limbs felt so heavy.
Chase leaned against the wall, sliding down until he was sat on the floor and staring up at Ben. Staring at his curls, his freckles, watching the way his mouth moved as he spoke as if it may be the last time he gets to. ”Wherever you want…anything you wish to know is yours my King, you know this. There are no lies between us.”
Ben’s eyes burned, and relief washed through him. He stood up, darting from the bed to where Chase sat and wrapped himself around Chase. Between his fear of Chase leaving him and the panic from the ice walls Ben’s emotions were like an open wound. He buried his face into Chase’s chest, old and new tears wetting his shirt.
Genuine shock ran across Chase as his eyes widened at the sudden embrace. His arms moving slower than his heart until he finally held Ben into a hug and pulled him close. ”Hey hey what's this all about now?”
”I- I thought,” Ben started, struggling to speak through his tears. ”I thought, if he was back.” Ben devolved into sobs again. ”You’d leave.”
Chase pulled Ben even tighter, squeezing him to ensure that Ben knew Chase was there. ”Leave? Benny, Babe, why would I leave you? What – I –” Chase ran one hand through his hair as he tried to figure out where any of this was coming from.
It took Ben a few moments more to calm down. To be able to talk. ”I don’t know. He came first.” Ben shrugged. ”He meant a lot to you, but you...” Ben trailed off remembering what had been said outside, what Chase had said at the contest, but he knew that Percy had been Chase’s friend. It was pieces. Fragments of a story that he had been trying to learn without looking at the text. ”I don’t know.” He ended lamely, finally loosening his grip.
”Let's get one thing straight. Yes, he came first, yes he means a lot to me, but he was never my King, never my love, he was a Knight, a Brother at Arms. He was family to me. You are my King. My world. My everything. I will not abandon you for anything, I have told you this and I meant it. I still mean it. I would do anything you asked of me.” Chase grabbed Ben's shoulders, moving him a little further back to ensure they were looking into his eyes as he spoke.
Ben’s face was a mess. Tears and snot soaking it, his eyes red from the amount of crying he had been doing, and he had a headache starting to throb behind those eyes. He needed a cup of tea, but they were in the wrong room for that. Better here than the other one, in case Percy came in. He nodded. ”I’m not a... not... a replacement?” He asked, his voice cracking.
”Absolutely not. Nor could anything ever replace you.” Chase pulled his sleeve over the palm of his hand, using it to wipe Ben's face clear of snot and tears. ”Who told you that? Who said you were a replacement?”
Ben shook his head, ”We’re alike. Danni said it. Not that I was his replacement, but that we were alike. And if you... you hurt him, but he was your friend. And then... and then you said at the contest you wanted him to be hurt.” He let Chase clean his face, though he wanted to go to the bathroom and wash it. But the image of that bathroom made him shudder.
Chase’s grip loosened. His mind going back to the stands, to what he'd said. He couldn't look Ben in the eyes anymore. That felt like a lifetime ago already. ”I didn't even notice the similarities until Danni Boi pointed them out too. Sure there were some things here or there that reminded me of old times but, I figured it was just the feeling of friendship all over again. Didn't exactly have many growing up.” He didn't know how to acknowledge what he'd said back at the stands, all his mind kept telling him to do was stand up and punch the wall to let his feelings go.
“What happened? Why did you hurt him? Why did you shove him into lockers?” His voice cracked on the last question, fear gripping him. He felt like he was about to spiral again. He tried to breathe. Tried to keep himself from spiraling. He went to the window and opened it. He looked out at the bright field of snow. Light and open. He tried to breathe.
Chase took the opportunity to stand up, pacing back and forth in silence as he tried to find a way to answer. Though he appeared more like a caged animal looking for a moment to pounce his way to freedom, ready to attack. ”I guess uh, before we get into that there's more you'll need to know…” His voice taking that same gravely tone. ”I don't talk about my homelife because I hardly had one. My parent's…I…can't even call them that. They showed me love was hidden behind fists, cracked lips, and bruises. Food was always scarce, clothes not much better, and I tried my best to keep my head down to avoid it all. Percival was my one escape.
My parents didn't care that I spent so much time over at his place. It meant less food that needed to be given, less attention, but sometimes it also meant less hands to do the house work. Dishes, clothing, the likes… Those nights when I came home I was shown more love than I could take. But it was fine because the moments before meant more to me, a fantasy to help escape and a hope that one day I could. We did everything together, there was this program back at school and it was weird and only got weirder. But even that we did together, that is until Valentines Day.
He wrote me a letter, confessing his love to me. I…uh…I didn't know how to respond. How to tell him I didn't feel the same way. I was afraid that doing so would push him away, make him leave me alone in this miserable place. That same week we still talked a bit, never about the letter, and near the end of it he'd left. I thought he left the program because I took too long, turns out he was pulled for reasons unknown. Either way, that broke something in me, switched something on that I didn't know was in me…the way my parents showed me love. So I showed him how my family shows love to those who step away. It – fuck! I was a monster before these damn experiments, and deep down I've always believed I deserved them. All the pain I was put through, even from my own family, I deserved it all because of how I treated him.”
Ben listened. He didn’t try to respond to anything. Just let Chase’s story be told. He leaned against the window frame. He turned away from looking out, and watched Chase pace. His heart hurt. An ache that seemed to spread from the center of his chest and into his limbs. But at least Chase never liked Percy that way.
”You are not, and never have been a monster. You were a kid.” Ben paused, if Chase hadn’t been into him and had lashed out would he still think that?
”Your bio parents sound terrible. They don’t deserve you. You didn’t deserve what they did to you. You’re not perfect, but that is okay. No one is.” He thought of his father’s parents yelling in the kitchen. He thought of the urn that he never saw again. He closed his eyes.
Chase moved away from Ben, towards the opposite wall on his side of the room before finally he let out a frustrated yell. His fist collided with the wall as a hole formed around it, the sound of the punch echoing throughout the room. ”But did they deserve what happened to them? Did they deserve their only son in a state of rage and narcotics rampaging through the house as he slaughtered them?! I dont feel like a fucking kid Ben I feel like a weapon!”
Ben’s eyes had been closed, they snapped open and he flinched when Chase punched the wall screaming. Adrenaline spiked through him, but Chase was on the other side of the room. And what Chase said...
He didn’t even know how to respond to that. He didn’t know how he felt about it. He wanted to comfort Chase. He wanted to be at his side, and rub his back and say soothing things. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to fix this. He was quiet.
”Chase,” he finally said, his voice quiet, barely loud enough to cross the room. He didn’t know what to say next. He didn’t say anything, he stayed put near the window, pressed against it as if knowing the window was there, he’d be okay. He could climb the wall. He’d be fine.
His back had been turned to Ben as he spoke, and as the soft whisper hit his ears Chase whipped around, his voice dark and full of agony. ”What?!” Shadows darkened around him and then he saw the look in Ben's eyes. The fear as he pressed against the wall, and all of it melted away as his legs gave out and he fell down to the floor. ”Benny no…I – I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk to you like that, you don't deserve that.”
Ben took one tentative step forward, and then another, and then he was kneeling next to Chase. ”I am so sorry that happened and you had to deal with it. I can’t stand to see you upset like this. That shouldn’t have happened. None of it. No one should have allowed it to happen.” He reached forward, fingers shaking.
Chase grabbed Ben's hand gently. Holding it within his own hands to help stop the shaking. ”This. “ Chase kissed Ben's hand, his voice quiet. ”This is why I told Danni not to tell you. You're shaking. You're scared of me, of what I could do. I didn't want you to know because I cannot lose you. Not you Benny Boi.”
Ben squeezed Chase’s hand. ”It has been a hell of a day.” He sighed, ”Yes, I am scared. I’m scared of a lot of things. But I’m not scared of you not of my knight. You wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. You’ve had the opportunity to. I’ve been more at your mercy than anyone's ever. But you walked me through my panic and we are going to be okay. I’m not going to leave you. I don’t think I could. I... I can’t deal with that. But I also am in a room with someone who is capable of god knows what, so yeah I was scared. Because the last time someone yelled, the last time I was this upset, I lost my parents and I was trapped for days. I am always scared of being trapped and today has been especially trying.”
Chase’s lips began to quiver. Trying hard not to cry at Ben's words. He pulled Ben's hand closer, pulling Ben closer and into another tight embrace as he moved his boyfriend into his lap and began to cuddle him, nuzzling his face into Ben's neck. He didn't know what to say, what do to, but he knew he needed Ben's presence right now.
Ben allowed himself to be pulled into Chase’s lap. He wrapped his arms around him, clinging to Chase like he was drowning. And Ben felt like he had been. He felt wrung out like an old cloth. His body hurt. His head hurt. His heart hurt. He hadn’t thought he had more tears, but he did, and they fell. He shook like a leaf. Every emotion from the day seemed to have hollowed him out. But he felt warm and safe pressed up against Chase.
Chase sniffled, tears down his cheeks, as he laughed softly to himself. ”I really need you to stop bathing in Axe. It's burning my eyes.”
”Sorry,” Ben sniffed.
”It's alright. You're worth it. Maybe later we can wash it off…together?”
Ben shuddered slightly. ”Did you see that shower? I was thinking I’d end up using the gym showers.”
”First thing I did when I came in today babe. Had to make sure they were good for you, but we can always take a short shadow into the gyms.”
Ben sighed, and wiped at his face. ”I need a cup of tea.”
”As you wish.” Shadows stirred beneath Chase's bed, like a monster lurking nearby, before a present appeared wrapped up and sliding out and then Ben's kettle. ”Oh? Is that…a belated Christmas gift? Look like someone's been good this year.” Chase smirked. ”Go on, open it.”
Ben sat up, looking at the present. ”You got me something? I didn’t get you anything... I don’t know when your birthday is.” He picked up the box and started to open it.
Chase waved the concern away. ”It's fine. But if you must know it was six days before meeting you. So you already gave me the perfect birthday gift…you.”
Ben wrinkled his nose doing the math. ”The 20th or the 11th? I’m on September 10th.” He finished getting the box open and carefully removed the tea cup inside. ”This is awesome!” Ben wrapped his free arm, the one not holding the tea cup around Chase. ”I love this, thank you.”
”The 11th. Figured now you have a cup for home and one for school. I saw it and thought of you. Didn't think it would survive the road trip so I didn't bring it and then well all this happened and…anyways, teas in my bag, I started carrying a few pouches around incase you ever craved it. No milk or sugar im afraid.”
Ben kissed Chase. ”Thank you, I love you.”
Chase melted into the kiss before freezing in place as Ben told him he loved him. His eyes were wide and every word he tried to say only came out in a nervous stammer. Love? Ben…Chase had been thinking the same but, was it too soon? It felt too soon. He didn't know. He had a sudden urge to text Percy and ask him how long one needed to wait to confess their love for their boyfriend. Even in previous relationships with girls Chase had never uttered the word, not that they ever went far.
Ben felt Chase freeze, and he realized what he had just said. His eyes went wide. But he had meant it. He had been dealing with the overwhelming fear of losing Chase all day. He had thought about everything that had happened over the last few weeks and he loved Chase. He hadn’t planned on saying it right now. He had almost said it a moment ago, when they were cuddled together. He had thought about it when he was learning about what happened between Chase and Percy. It had been there, floating around all day. He had sort of known the day prior when Matt hadn’t allowed them to see each other. The whole day had sucked. He kept wanting to tell Chase something or ask him something. He didn’t want to be apart from him if he could help it. Maybe that was a little co-dependent, but he didn’t care.
”Yeah, I’m gonna stand by that. Don’t feel obligated to say it back. Not until you’re ready. But I do love you.”
Chase grabbed the tea cup from Ben's hand and gently placed it onto the floor. Lifting up Ben and taking him towards his bed as he peppered him with kisses on his face, lips, cheeks, and neck. When they finally reached his destination he laid Ben carefully down and kissed him deep. ”You are my Holy Grail, My King, My World, and My Love. I Love you so much Benjamin Moss, I do not think there is anything that could make that more true. You are my Arthur and I your Knight.”
Ben kissed Chase back, he wrapped an arm around him for stability, glad that the bed was close enough he wasn’t being carried far. He blushed and giggled at Chase. ”How did you know my middle name?”
”What do you mean?”
”Arthur. That’s my middle name.”
”That is so fucking hot. If it wasn't for the fact that Danni wants to meet us in a bit I would say we pray here and now.”
Ben laughed, ”Yeah, we should probably get going. Guess I’ll have to wait for the tea too.” He sighed.
”We gotta get you a thermos for some tea on the go.” Chase pulled out his phone and shot a text off to Percy, changing his contact name as well.
Ben wrinkled his nose. ”I suppose, it’ll do. But we probably should get going. I don’t want Danni to think we are abandoning him.”
”Yeah yeah, I was just texting. Cmon let's go, we dont wanna miss the festival.”
Ben stood up and took Chase’s hand. ”No worries. Where should we meet Danni?”
Chase shrugged. ”He said the tree and then failed to mention which one. So…”
”Uh, let’s just go to the entrance, and I’ll text him from there.” Ben pulled out his phone and sent Danni a text in their group chat.
”Ah man! My hot chocolate…”
