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Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

Most Recent Posts

@Bounce, @Byrd Man, and @Sep are all dead to me.

They don't realize what I bring to eye-bleedingly long paragraphs is nothing short of an art form.
If anyone wants the cliffnotes for that mammoth response I wrote to Nightrunner...

I have a fanboy boner for Scott Snyder up until Robot Bat-Gordon became a thing.
Morrison's stuff is good but fucking weird and I'm glad it's over.
I think King's stuff is pretentious as fuck, but his Catwoman is exceptionally written.

There. There, @Byrd Man! I hope you're fucking happy!

We all have our passions.

Mine just happens to be about a fictional emotionally shut-off billionaire man-child who dresses up like a giant animal and beats the ever-living shit out of the mentally disturbed in order to make himself feel whole because of something that happened to him when he was 8.

So I could do without the judging... dammit!
Forgive me for not being you when someone asks you literally anything about history, you bastard!
@Master Bruce would your rank your opinions of Tom King, Scott Snyder and Grant Morrison?


Oh, wow. My favorite kind of question!

I'll start with Snyder, since he's my favorite of the three when it comes to Batman. Snyder's Batman arcs, particularly The Black Mirror, The Court Of Owls, Death Of The Family, and Zero Year, are among some of my favorite arcs in the entirety of Batmandom. He blends the larger-than-life conceptual stuff that I only wish I could pull off with the psychological study of Bruce Wayne type of storytelling that, again, I'm very goddamn envious of. It's taking the best of both worlds in terms of my preferred method of telling Bruce's story and mixing it in a blender. Snyder's work had such an impact on me that for a couple of years, I've been wanting to write my own fan-scripts for entire 13 episode seasons of a live action Batman television show that re-arranges his work so that it starts with a Zero Year inspired origin season, delves into the Court of Owls in the second, and has The Joker wreak havoc in the third. He's one of my favorite Batman writers ever, honestly, for his ideas alone. The only criticism I have is of his dialogue, which can be too wordy at best and too repetitious at worst (never try to play a drinking game where a Snyder-written character ends a sentence with "Dammit!"), and that his run ran out of steam a bit whenever he had Gordon take up the mantle. I appreciate trying new things, but he went a little far with Robo Bat-Cop.

Grant Morrison, meanwhile, I have an immense love-hate relationship as far as Batman goes. His storytelling is absolutely incredible and he taught me so many things about the character's mythos that I never knew just by re-introducing them to the canon, such as the Zur-En-Arrh thing and the importance of the "Robin Dies At Midnight!" story from the Silver Age. There are quite a number of issues of his that I absolutely adore and cite as some of my favorites for the character, specifically "Joe Chill In Hell", which has Bruce remembering one of his earliest cases while in a coma that plays out like an episode of Twin Peaks. However, the hate part comes in whenever it comes to his actual characterization of Batman. He can be a little too out there and all over the place, at once playing Batman as the no-nonsense serious detective that he's been portrayed as for the majority of the modern era, but also really leaning heavily into the sillier aspects of the canon to create a more "rounded" portrayal that just comes off as inconsistent. His swan song with Batman, Incorporated honestly just read as Bruce doing his best Tony Stark impression, and I didn't really like that at all. Also, while I love a majority of what he did with the supporting cast, and I do really like Damian Wayne when written correctly, I never really liked how he made Talia a full-fledged villainess. She went too far down the rabbit hole and became too irredeemable, when the point of her character was always the conflict between her father and her love for Bruce. And lastly, the tone that he established with the stories that he told, even though they are meant to be way different from the Batman stories told since the 80's, got way too tiresome to keep up with near the end. I was so relieved when the book got relaunched with Snyder and that immediate feeling of tone from something like Batman: The Animated Series came back, because Morrison had made it a different, nigh incomprehensible animal for a long time.

Tom King... Christ. This is where things get alot murkier, because King is probably one of the most celebrated Batman writers of recent memory that I just absolutely loathe for some parts. I was down with his run at first, but immediately noticed something was off whenever he started sprinkling in his own little affectations (My Bruce is never going to call Selina "Cat" because I find it so goddamn annoying) into the story and started trying to make it a bit too much of his own thing. I honestly gave up on the book after the second arc because I wasn't feeling it, and felt like he didn't really have a good voice for Bruce at all. Then the book turned around for me after his supremely dumb "War Of Jokes And Riddles" arc, which I despised. Once that was over, he started focusing more on Bruce's relationship with Catwoman, bringing the engagement thing to the forefront. Now, while I was resistant to Bruce and Selina ever settling down at first, eventually I started to really love the idea as King wrote it. He writes an amazing Selina Kyle, way moreso than Bruce, and she easily became the best character of his run whenever she had to tackle the realities of potentially being Batman's wife. For a long time, I've been of the opinion that Bruce would always put his work before everything and never fall in love, but I always had that spark of something that wanted him and Selina to just say "fuck it" and marry for the sake of throwing aside the tedious love affairs Bruce always gets into. Selina is his true love, and I wholeheartedly believe that Batman's gotten to a point where he can reconcile that and still be who he is. They've done the dance for too long not to be soulmates. But, King's handling of Bruce's character just still reads as a little too off-script for my liking, and his dialogue is insanely pretentious. Reading an issue of his Batman really kicks off my Writer's OCD, if that makes any sense. He just gets too far up his own ass sometimes, which was basically the entirety of the War Of Jokes And Riddles arc.

But yeah. Snyder, Morrison, King. I wouldn't say those are my top three of the entirety of writers that have tackled the character. Paul Dini and Dennis O'Neil vastly outrank all three of them, for my money, and I have favorites like Chuck Dixon, Mark Waid, Jeph Loeb, and a few others that would probably round out my ideal list. But Snyder's up there, and Morrison's not too many notches behind him. King I'm alot more iffy on.

Wait, so Xavier is gonna die or Xavier is already dead? I'm confused, because your app states he's the current head of the school.

I do love the idea of Quicksilver leading the main team and, wow, your concept for Danny The Street as a sentient version of The X-Mansion is very impressive. Well done on that front.

But I do have to agree with Morden to some degree, Magneto should only be a good guy if there's a good enough reason in the story. I just want to know where that stands in terms of Xavier's mortality.

(You don't have to necessarily respond in the OOC thread if that's a spoiler.)
Pretty sure you've got that one the wrong way round.


Weirdly enough, the time-table between the two teams' first appearances (Doom Patrol being introduced in June of '63, X-Men being introduced in September) makes it highly unlikely that they were copying each other. They just managed to hit the exact same idea in the exact same year, making their co-existence one of the many amazing coincidences in the world of comics.

X-Men just had the luxury of being reinvented later on down the line by a prolific writer, while the Doom Patrol never really took off in the same way. Maybe it'll shift a bit whenever the TV show comes out - which I can't wait for, since we've needed some more obscure live action DC stuff for awhile.
Does anyone have any plans for Beast Boy?


I very much doubt it, given the setting doesn't really fit characters like Robin, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl or any of the other sidekick Titans. I'd say go for it if you have a solid concept. Gar fits into the same category as Vic/Cyborg, Raven, Starfire and others as being malleable enough to have pre-Titans adventures.

Gonna try to get another post or two up soon, I can see that I've kinda lagged behind.


Similarly, I've got a half-written post that I've needed to finish for a few days. Gonna tackle that in the immediate future.
Got room for one more?





Black Canary and Black Panther are...

That universe's version of Superman doesn't have a secret identity because Clark Kent flexed too hard at The Daily Planet once and it ripped open his shirt exposing the costume underneath.

There, Sep. Is that what you wanted?! Is that what you wanted to hear?!?!
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