Ogo

MALFUNCTION: A Painfully Realistic Superpower RP

I still want to reserve a dude with two dicks.

@Mr Allen J

Not all heroes wear capes.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MALFUNCTION: A Painfully Realistic Superpower RP

Ahh! Break time!

Right, so, just to clear a few things up:

@Wade Wilson
Sure, we can take a peek at 'em. We'll have plenty of information to work with in the OOC when it's posted, but we can go ahead and get a feel for how much tweaking will be needed.

Also, I see Panic! linked in your sig and that makes me so very happy! xD

@AdobeFlash

Yeah, we'll most likely be dropping this one in Advanced. We'll be looking forward to your app, then ^-^

[CLOSED] Pokemon: Shadow of Nemesis -- The Reboot!

_{-Route 29-}

Amidst the carnage of war, Noah found himself oddly at peace. Sure, he was still laughing like a madman surrounded by Arceus knows how many pissed off Hoothoots. And suuure, one of the winged rats had swiped his neck, leaving a nasty little cut that was now just caked in bird shit. And suuuuuuure, Bowser’s fires were spreading with reckless abandon. But the blinding rage? It was quickly subsiding. That’s just how Noah was. It was...rare for him to lose his shit, and when it did eventually happen, it didn’t take much for the guy to blow off his steam.

“Yeouch!” he spat out as one of the swarm swooped in from behind, tearing a gnarly gash in the giant’s back. Noah pivoted, swinging the branch and making contact with one of the dirty little fucks. It wasn’t a clean hit, but the fire did scald the beast, eliciting a pained cry which was just oh-so-satisfying. That feeling didn’t last for long, however. Two more fuckers swooped in to take their fallen brother’s place.

It was useless. He was wasting his time and energy. Soon enough, he would be dead. All because he wanted to earn a few easy bucks. Heh. Ain’t life a bitch?

Noah could hear a thwacking coming from nearby. He didn’t dare turn to look, though. He had to keep the fire up to ward away the vicious little fucks. He did hear a voice underneath all the mad squawking and sounds of battle.

The kid. Probably. None of the others had a monotonous voice like that...did they?

Another Hoothoot slipped past Noah’s guard, this time slicing into the back of Noah’s calf. He groaned and fell to one knee for a second. Bowser had been right by his heels and was now backing underneath the fallen giant, ears flat against its head, teeth bared, head and tail low. He took frequent shots, barking burning balls which blazed toward the birds. Sometimes he hit, sometimes he missed. Either way, the fire was a-spreading. If this kept up-

A terrible screech tore into Noah’s mind. He dropped his burning branch as his hands flew up to cover his ears. Just when his everything stopped ringing, Noah started to pull his hands away when a huuuge gust of wind slapped into his side. Bowser even found himself starting to leave the ground, but the wind subsided before he was airborne.

Suddenly...it was dark. More dark than he had ever seen.

Except for the eyes.

The glowing, red eyes.

They came from all sides, slicing small cuts into his back, his sides, his arms. Noah doubled over, covering up Bowser, trying to protect the little guy. The slices stung, sure...but the pecks from the fuckers that landed on him were worse. Obviously, he couldn’t just sit there. Noah started swinging wildly. Some punches landed, others missed entirely. Some hits connected hard, others were whiffs, causing him to get sliced up even more. He felt inexplicably tired from time to time...as if all he wanted to do was sleep, but uh...go figure, getting constantly cut? Not exactly the most soothing feeling out there.

In the chaos, Noah did find himself having a silly thought: this would really sting in the morning. He actually still thought that he’d get out of the mess alive! Ha! What a riot!

…

Something was wrong.

Something was...waaay too wrong.

Suddenly, Noah felt a wave of heat to his left. He turned in time to see a couple Hoothoot trying to drag Bowser off. They were having...limited success in actual liftoff, but they were fucking pros when it came to pissing off the Houndour. Bowser pulled himself up and burnt one in the face. And the other? Well…

NOAH used HEADBUTT!

It’s super effective!

Still reeling from the headbutt, Noah nearly missed Bowser, but somehow he DID manage to scoop the pooch out of the air. The Hoothoot did not like that. They swarmed him again. But this time, Noah didn’t just stand there twiddling his thumbs.

He ran.

The swarm still got their licks in, and boy oh fucking boy did it hurt, but at least he was moving. He had hunched over and held Bowser close, trying to shield the dog as much as possible. He didn’t hear any yelps so...he was probably doing alright.

Between the darkness and the constant flow of Hoothoot into and out of his line of sight, seeing what was actually in front of him was a challenge. But…

When Noah came across the white ball of fluff...well it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Ivy’s Pokemon. That...didn’t bode well for the kid...

…

No…

Don’t…

It’s not your problem, Noah…

…

Noah almost ran past the little dude. Should have...but…

Evil or not, he couldn’t just leave the little fucker there to die. Unlike the shitbags, it hadn’t tried to kill him. Not yet, anyway. Yo, whatever.

Noah shifted Bowser over to one arm, the dog straddling his forearm, holding on for dear life as he scooped up the fallen Mareep. Once he was standing again, he shifted both Pokemon into the crook of his arms. Which, quite frankly, is pretty fucking difficult when Hoothoot and trying to rip one apart.

Noah found himself at more or less a dead end. The Hoothoot here were more numerous...more vicious...they REALLY didn’t like that particular trio. Bowser spat some hot fire, but..it just wasn’t enough. Noah tried to push back the same way he came, but without the stick and with his arms occupied, he couldn’t open a path. All he got was a particularly nasty cut just under his left eye.

And then his side.

And his thigh.

And his calf.

Noah fell to a knee, again.

Bowser leapt from his arm to the ground. He growled and barked flames at the Hoothoot...but it was useless.

It didn’t matter.

Noah slid the Mareep onto the ground, and hunkered over it. He glanced up at Bowser, who returned the look.

“Sorry bub,” he started, oddly calm despite the horde striking his back. “Don’t thin- AGHH! Don’t think we’re getting outta this one.” he whispered to the pup.

He reached out with one arm to pat the pup’s head...but a Hoothoot to the opportunity to take a slice at the giant’s arm, causing him to roar in pain. It was...it was a pretty deep cut, that one. Stung like a motherfucker.

Bowser lost his shit.

He howled.

Loud. Piercing.

He seemed to rumble…

…

And then a mighty stream of flames burst forth, curling outwards and wrapping back around on itself. The flames whipped across the Hoothoot, cutting into their lines like a warm knife through butter. The birds either caught flame and fell to the ground, screeching, or retreated from the intense flames that snaked forward, around and around. Burning bright. Burning high. Burning hot. Sticks and leaves burst into flames just by being NEAR the stream.

By the time Bowser cut off his stream, most of the Hoothoot that had been swarming Noah were gone. Only a few brave ones remained, and they were quickly dealt with by the pooch’s smaller flames. Noah looked up, but quickly had to shield his eyes. The flames had illuminated camp again - even brighter than before. He looked about and saw that even the grass around him was starting to light. His “tent”? Just a mini inferno. Behind him, he heard a cracking sound. Without thinking, he scooped Mareep back up and pushed onto his feet, breaking into a dead sprint. He slowed only to bend over and let Bowser jump into his arms.

The Brightstone boy ran like a Zubat outta hell. A loud crack, followed by a pop and a loud thud confirmed what he had thought. He turned to see the tree he had been standing by and just dropped a branch, and was now burning something fierce. Worse, though, was just how close to the other trees it was. Their branches practically touched. And the fire took the opportunity to check out the neighbor, proving to truly be the gift that kept on giving.

Noah wasted no time. He sprinted. Past burning Hoothoot. Past a much larger Hoothoot looking thing squaring off against a small green Hoothoot. Past this. Past that.

The fire spread quickly, and while it did scare off a lot of the Hoothoot that had been swarming Noah, now that he had gotten some distance from the flames, they saw it as a great time to attack again.

Bad idea.

As soon as the swarm got near, Bowser howled a might howl, and from his mouth burst forth another great, snaking flame. The heat coming from Bowser’s mouth was intense...enough so that Noah could feel his arm starting to burn. The Hoothoot learned this the hard way. A couple misjudged the way the flames were twisting and ended up flying directly into them. Needless to say, that? Yeaah...didn’t work so hot.

Others flew high to avoid a fiery death. Bowser was having none of that, though. He followed their flight upwards…

Which meant that the flames burst upwards…

Into the canopy…

…

Holy fuck.

The trees caught fire INSANELY quick, what with the stream of fire whipping through it. In what seemed to be no time at all, the newbie trainers would find themselves under a burning ceiling. Most of the Hoothoot that had not already fled, decided that now would probably be the best time to get the hell outta Dodge.

Noah rightly agreed. He ran. As fast as possible. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t see who, if anybody, he was passing. He just kept his eyes on the path and his legs a pumping. Sure, they screamed out that they were burning, as did his cuts, scraps, and actual burn wounds...but being the world’s tallest pile of human ashes didn’t really appeal to Noah.

And so the boy, now relying almost entirely on primal instinct, screamed the only thing going through his mind, the only thing that could motivate him, the only thing that would keep him alive:

“R U U U U U N!!!”

And run he did.

To hell with the darkness!

To hell with the wild pokemon!

To hell with that blaze behind him!

He wasn’t going to fucking stop until he hit Cherrygrove!

[CLOSED] Pokemon: Shadow of Nemesis -- The Reboot!

_{-Route 29-}

Ever feel like something’s about to go horribly horribly wrong? That slow, dreadful, creeping pain that twists in turns in one’s gut until it gets a firm grip on a man’s fragile composure?

Noah didn’t even get that warning before he turned his head and found himself staring into the dark pit of death, itself.

...or Ivy’s Pokemon. Tomato, tomahto.

His stomach folded in on itself, and he found himself rather sick all of a sudden. Seriously, there was something wrong with that fucking beast, and the fact that he couldn’t seem to get away from it confused and upset the giant. He had to force himself to look away, which actually made him feel slightly better. Go figure.

Noah looked from Evil Incarnate over to its slave. Ivy was...ironically enough, completely red in the face. Did he...did he miss something? He had heard Fuckboi speaking to her, but to be honest, he didn’t care enough to even eavesdrop. Oh well. He raised an eyebrow, the universal sign for “wazzup?”

Tomato Tina didn’t give a fuck about his question. She just went about quietly...fixing up the other side of his tent…?

…

Noah shrugged. If she really wanted to help set up a shitty tent substitute, who was he to stop her? The two worked in...well...relative silence if one ignored the Lesbians, Fuckboi, and their constant fucking chatter. Seriously, the kid had been around for less than an hour and Noah already liked her better than the other shitters. She shut the fuck up and worked. What a fucking concept.

When the tent was mostly finished, Noah thought that he heard something in the distance, but shrugged it off. Instead of worrying about that, he looked over at Ivy and nodded in her direction.

“Than-!!” he started, but stopped abruptly. Something had just hit him in the back of the head. Something warm. Something wet. Something slimy.

All the joy immediately rushed from Noah’s eyes, and in its place was hatred and rage. He heard the flapping and the hooting now. He might have even had a vague idea as to what was going on...but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered. Noah was dead to the world. All that he could hear, and all the he could see was…

R E D

He got to his feet.

*thump thump*

He grabbed one of the sticks holding up his tent and jerked it to his side, forgetting all about Ivy and her little demon.

*thump thump*

He grabbed Bowser’s pokeball and unleashed the pooch right in front of him.

*thump thump*

The dog look about, confused. It turned to look at Noah, but the look on his face caused the pup to freeze.

*thump thump*

Noah smiled. Bowser cowered.

*thump thump*

“Burn…” he whispered. Bowser looked at its trainer, terrified.

*thump thump*

“BURN IT ALL!” he roared. Bowser started, and then trembling, began barking out balls of flames. They tumbled to and fro, landing haphazardly around the campsite, catching dried leaves, branches, and grass aflame. Noah shoved his stick at Bowser and whispered his command once more. Bowser obeyed. The stick quickly caught flame and a mighty blaze burned atop the makeshift torch.

*thump thump*

The campsite found itself illuminated once more, exposing a disgusting amount of Hoothoot floating about in the air and perched up in the trees. How many? Well...let’s just say that Noah wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind for counting.

*thump thump*

He roared once more, waving his burning stick in the air. This agitated a couple of the Hoothoot, who dropped what they were doing and dove at the screaming giant. The first missed, and the second was dodged...but the third….?

“Heh…” he chuckled.

The third flew in a perfect angle towards Noah. It was guaranteed to run right into him. It might have even been lucky enough to gore him on its beak. But…

“GROAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWH!!!” the giant unleashed with great vigor!

As the Hoothoot came into range, Noah drew back and whipped his stick forward, nailing the damned bird right between the eyes with his burning branch of justice.

C R A C K !

The sound echoed throughout the camp as the Hoothoot came to a dead stop. It hit the ground, twitching slightly. Bowser looked on in horror...but then Noah looked back at him, with a smile on his face.

*thump thump*

“Burn.” he ordered. And Bowser obeyed. The twitching Hoothoot caught flame, squawking in pain. It was music to Noah’s ears! He stood by Bowser and the burning Hoothoot, waving his stick in the air to dissuade any further Hoothoot from attempting an attack.

Had he gone too far?

*thump thump*

Most likely.

*thump thump*

Did he care?

*thump thump*

Most likely not.

*thump thump*
Judging by the hysterical laughing coming from the guy, he most likely didn’t give a flying fuck about anything other than burning every last fucking flying bag of shit at the moment. Sure, he’d probably regret it later...but later he wouldn’t have a horde of the fuckers attacking him.

...hopefully.

Ardacia

I've never been involved in a Nations-RP, but this looks ahh-mazing~

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B!tchfest: a healthy release for our non-roleplay annoyances.

@Dynamo Frokane
I mean, quite frankly, it's none of my business. Just a thought, really.

By all means, y'all do you.

B!tchfest: a healthy release for our non-roleplay annoyances.

Right, so, I'm not a mod in any way, shape, or form, but uh...@SleepingSilence and @Dynamo Frokane, don'tcha think that it's maybe time to either agree to disagree or just move this dispute to like...a PM, or something? Because it kind of looks like things are just going to keep getting personal.

[CLOSED] Pokemon: Shadow of Nemesis -- The Reboot!

_{-Route 29-}

The kid was the first to respond to Noah’s concern. She crawled out of her tent and showed off a bleeding arm. Noah shook his head. That wasn’t good. Not at all. Hell if he knew how bad it really was, though. He certainly wasn’t a doctor. If it wasn’t going to kill her, then she needed to clean it off as soon as possible. Though to be fair...with that look on her face, she seemed dead to the world anyway.

The kid then introduced herself as an Ivy Aspen, which when paired with her green hair, was just cheeky enough for Noah to want to punch both of her parents in the throat. Ivy didn’t even fit, if you asked him. She seemed like more of a “Mary” or a “Jane”, really.

In the silence that followed, Noah’s attention slipped back to the goddamn ground having just moved. There seemed to be a bit more damage than he had originally thought. There was whatever had cut the Kid, obviously, but upon closer observation, Noah noticed that branches had fallen all over the makeshift campsite. A particularly nasty looking branch had landed right where Noah had almost put his tent...but he reconsidered when one of the others claimed a spot closer than what he would have been comfortable with. That was an eerie feeling...if he would have been quicker on the draw, he’d have likely been smashed beneath the fucker…

A chill ran down Noah’s spine.

Trying to get his mind off that, Noah tried to see how the others were doing but... quite a few were still missing. The Lesbians, Fuckboi, and the Kid were around...but no sign of the others. That probably wasn’t good…

Noah’s next question slid out without him even realizing he had said anything, but the bleeder answered yet again. Well...if you could even call her smartass remark an answer. Noah scowled,

“No shit. But when’s the last time you felt an earthquake in fucking Johto” he hissed. To tell the truth, he had never felt an earthquake before. If he was lucky, he’d never have to feel one again. That shit just did not sit right with him.

The kid released her fluffy Pokemon which just...stared at him. Fuck the earthquake, this...THING was much more unnerving. In a group with an actual literal ghost as a Pokemon, that little ball of fluff should not be the creepiest thing around. Noah felt as if a part of was actually dying simply by looking into its eyes. He looked away and fidgeted uncomfortably. He then retrieved Bowser’s pokeball and returned the little guy. All of sudden, Noah really just wanted to be anywhere but there.

Hell, if it wasn’t getting to be so dark, Noah would have been totally down to get moving again. The sooner they got to Goldenrod, the sooner he would be free of the Dreadfluff. Oddly enough, that little thirty minute nap, the earthquake, and the soul-crushing fear was actually pretty energizing. Whoddathunkit?

So, Noah channeled that energy in the best way he could: he began to rebuild his “tent.”

And if the motherfucker fell down again, he’d burn the whole goddamn forest to the ground.

Herculean Academy: Arc 1 - Welcome To The Academy

...what is dead may never die?