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2 yrs ago
Current status quo.
3 yrs ago
Stat....us.
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4 yrs ago
I need 100 cc's of Status, Stat!
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<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

*Sits down on the floor.*

Not gonna lie, I've been there... sort of. Part of me is so bitter and worn down that to just go to sleep and never wake up would be half a blessing. But I don't want to go out with a whimper, I want to go out with a bang.
*Makes a finger gun and shoots it in time with my last word.*

And so I've just flat out refused to die or off myself up to this point, because even if life hurts, I've still got my fighting spirt and a desire to at least make something of this mess.

But the tricky part that follows is probably what you're struggling with, albeit in the opposite direction. Finding purpose. To keep living without direction is hard, and to find your own is even harder.

So far, the only solution I've found is to stand on some part of yourself, some key part of your identity, so that you can keep your footing until you find purpose.

*Chuckles and looks into the distance.*

Of course, everyone is different, so what works for me might not work for others. And so this process, inner world and all, is ment to help you find your own solution, one that does work for you.

shinji:

what if...

*looks up*

..nevermind.... I've already tried living for others. It doesnt work... I need to live for myself. But how.... thats the question....

*looks to you, then looks to the ground*

When you've fucked up as much as I have, and as severely as I have, its hard to go back. And with every issue I have.... I could be jn here forever.... the only thing keeping me sane is you, and to be truthful, sometimes i often wonder if I just made you up.
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

I know, it's pretty wild, isn't it?
*Watches as well*


*glances over at you, looks you up and down, then raises an eybrow at you*

and whom are you?
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

*You are transported outside the edge of Existence*


*within seconds,amarathine encapsulates me, and I dissapear*

*I walk out from within the amaranthine sphere around the base's planet, but on the inside, facing the base*

.... hmph.

*watches the battle closely, my arms crossed*
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Don't do anything you'll regret! I think we can take these guys!


Mierno: just do it, trust me! When I tell you two when, I need you to find a way to protect the base.... things are gonna get rocky.
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

*Snaps, and the portals move toward each other and merge together before warping around our group in a sphere; the portal sphere grows outward and everything that it touches is warped outside the edge of Existence*


*becomes static, and thus intangible, and attempts to pass through the portal without actually being tramsported anywhere*
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

I didn't say you wouldn't piss them off.

Realistically, people can get angry because they care in some capacity about whatever it is, either on a personal level, an emotional one, a psychological one, or so on and so forth.

It's not the case every time, but I believe it applies in that instance.


Shinji:

Fair enough, I suppose...

*looks to you*

.. to be completely honest with you.... I don't really want to die. Not alone, at least. I want to mean something to someone, not just metaphorically. I... I want purpose again..... thats why I felt that I needed to die. Becuase I have no purpose left to serve....
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Who says people have to earn the care of others?
...No like seriously, who? I wanna punch those idiots the most.

But that aside, you can account part of it to me being an empathetic fool at heart. I try not to let it show, or hinder me really, but it is a part of who I am. To know that there are people out there that are suffering through bad circumstances and decisions hurts. Especially because I know I realistically can't do much of anything, even if I had the time and the effort to help. People aren't exactly receptive to help if they aren't looking for it, with you being a good case in point. And yet, sometimes pushing through the kickback works, if you're willing to put in the effort.

Granted, it took a promise for me to stick around at first, but I do care about you at this point, like many of your other friends. They're not about to stop caring about you just because you're doing some dumb things.

Shinji:
Eh, I don't know about that one. Pretty sure Techi wants me dead, at this point.
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I understand that life can be absolute shit sometimes, to the point that it's worse then dying. So I'm not about to be selfish and ask you to keep living just to ease my conscience.

But by damn I still care about you, and at this point I'm not gonna just let you go out with a whimper just before the finish line. To go out without much of an impact or even a loss of impact would be terrible after the ammount of time you've held on and the things you've suffered through. So try to just give yourself a breather, a break, so that you can finish things properly.

Whatever you decide to do after that point will be your choice, and for as much as I might hate it, I'll do my damn best to respect it. ...it'll hurt, but loss isn't something people can avoid, especially if they have those they care about.


shinji: .....I just find it so hard to believe that you care so much about me. you just met me, yet... you're risking for me. why? where did I earn that...?
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Perhaps it's time for the grand finale, that you may return to your home to rest.
*Bows as seven planet-sizes circular portals open behind us with an overwhelming suction force, pulling anything that enters them outside the edge of Existence*

*my amaranthine begins to eat away at the edges of the portal to destabilize it, whilst I anchor myself into the walls of the Amaranthine sphere we're still in, physically locking me into place*
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

*Pulls my hands apart and whenever the amaranthine becomes dynamic, it reverses its action, pulling it together*


*While you focus your strings on that, the amaranthine around you rapidly flickers between static and dynamic, Quickly closing in around you*
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