Zapdos

Mystery of the Key - a Collaborative Writing Story

“We’re here,” Clark said, “Irris city limits.” The northwestern border gate of Irris was a fairly simple barrier for the size of the city it protected. It was a large wooden fence approximately 18 feet tall, built like a log cabin, with the entrance and exit from Irris being a large square in the middle wide enough for a half dozen horses to fit in side-by-side. As far as either of the two could see, the only things of note right outside the city were a windy cobblestone road and a great deal of pine trees; this structure was clearly not built for defense, as it didn’t seem there was much that needed to be defended against.

“Right,” Arthur replied, “and if we take the fourth dirt road on the right in these woods, we’ll be on our way to The Black Cairn?”

“Indeed. Are you nervous?” Arthur knew that Clark already knew the answer to that question, but also that the insect wouldn’t ask something like that for laughs, so there must have been a good reason behind it.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Definitely. This is a big step, even if this area looks nicer than Irris. Not like an actual big step, ‘cause my feet are the same size they’ve always been, just like this is something new that I haven’t done before.”

Even though he was still concerned for his friend, Arthur couldn’t help smiling a little at his friend’s explanation of an obvious expression. “We could go to Fletcherville or something if you’d like, you know. We don’t have to do this.”

“Not literally, but I feel like I must. These keys unlock something important, and they may help you with your memory.” Clark noticed Arthur start to feel guilty, so he added “plus, like I said, this should be interesting. Are you okay with all this?”

“Yeah. I think a lot of it is just nerves, that and I feel bad leaving Morris and Marissa. They’ve been good to us.”

“They’re great people and they helped us out a lot. They wouldn’t have done that if they didn’t know we’d be okay here. We should move forward and make sure their efforts weren’t in vain.”

“Right.” After saying this, Arthur adjusted his helmet slightly. It was a simple steel helmet that lacked any fancy ornamentation, but still covered the back and top of his head effectively. “Let’s go to this Cairn.”

-----

The night before Arthur and Clark’s departure from Irris, Marissa walked into her husband’s forge, watching him make armor for the amnesiac.

“You know, if you keep this up, you won’t have any energy for tomorrow’s dinner rush,” she teased.

“I could say the same about your journey in the publishing field,” Morris retorted as he took a break from his work. More sorrowfully now, he continued. “Those two, though, this journey of theirs reminds me so much of Marvin’s. I feel like if I helped our boy more before he left-”

His wife cut him off, enveloping him in a hug. “Don’t blame yourself, dear. It all happened so fast we couldn’t even meet the people he was with. I’m sure wherever Marv is, he feels the same way.”

“I know,” the big man agreed, returning Marissa’s gesture. His voice still contained sadness, but there was a small hint of acceptance as well. “It’s still hard though.”

“I know, dear. I miss him too.” After a few moments of holding each other, the husband and wife separated, with Morris returning to his crafting and the woman returning to their restaurant, finding more items to pack for the amnesiac and cricket.

-----

In the early afternoon after Arthur and Clark left Irris, three individuals were having a conversation in the vestibule of an old, disused jail building in the city. Gordon, Roland and the Chief didn’t want anyone to disturb them, so this was the perfect place to talk.

“...and our boss has agreed to create a story for his escape,” Gordon concluded.

“I am grateful; please tell Edgar his generosity is appreciated” the Chief responded.

“Of course,” the tall man said with a nod of his head. “This benefits us both, after all.”

“Certainly. Just be sure to kill those two. I don’t care about the keys, but nobody makes a fool out of me in my city,” the City Guard’s leader said as he opened the door. The lockup was empty, save for one cell, and it was that cell’s door that the Chief proceeded to unlock as he spoke to the prisoner.

“Remember, if you hurt anyone besides Arthur and Clark, this deal is off. We can’t have people asking questions.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” the prisoner replied, sounding more bored than anything else. He then turned his attention to Edgar’s men and continued speaking, this time much more eagerly. “Remember, I don’t care how you end Arthur, but the cricket is mine. I’ve been looking forward to that snack.” The frog menacingly licked his lips, looking forward to his gruesome fare.

Rise of the New Heroes

@FalloutJack that's fine, thanks for letting me know. Good luck!

Rise of the New Heroes

@FalloutJack okay, so I have to reject the CS for a few reasons. They are as follows:

1) That superpower is very OP for the setting. Yeah he has only a little control over it, but supposedly something that can destroy everything around him was able to be restrained by him in a few days, so I wouldn't expect that to last. This guy sounds like he could take out someone like Thundercloud instantly and this is meant to be a story about rookie heroes with weaker powers who are growing. E.g. someone with super speed still got severely injured in her first fight.
2) Also, the mental conjuring of explosions seems too close to Kestrel's (@threetoads' character) power in any case.
3) The biography strikes me as over the top. This is probably more subjective and I'm not trying to be insulting, but the impression I got from it was "wow I'm so special look at me."
4) The meteor was a big local event, but it wasn't one outside of Lafayette City.

I suspect that this might not be the right RP for you. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but just based on the general tone of the ideas you've had thus far (this CS and the time manipulator) that you'd have more fun in a RP where the PCs are more powerful. We had someone else in this RP who didn't enjoy having to deviate from the idea he had for his CS and in the end it wasn't a fun experience for him, so I'd like to avoid that sort of bad experience for you if at all possible. If I'm wrong, let me know, but if not I'm not offended and I wish you the best in your future RP endeavors.

Rise of the New Heroes

@FalloutJack I think you're good to post a CS for now, but I'll have to look at whatever biography you have to be sure it doesn't interfere/contradict with existing plot stuff.

Rise of the New Heroes

@Zapdos

Heyo! Pretty tempted here, but what I want to put in here may or may not work, because of the plot of the virus crossed with this has alot to do with time. A while back (I don't exactly remember when.), I started experimenting with a character whose life in crime-fighting was an experiment of the practical ups-and-downs of having time-related powers. (It was inspired by The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, among other things.) That was how I came to make Chronos, and then I made not only her alternate self (Timekiller), but a slew of other characters that were essentially the same person with somewhat-differently-nuanced time abilities and skills, each one hailing from another timeline where things are radically different. Because of the virus that killed off the supers, the time-related hero of this universe would've been killed, as well. So, unless you'd allow this one to have managed to use her power to 'skip' the virus, I dunno if I can use this one.

I could probably come up with something else, though, if we're lacking a particular dynamic. Let me know!

@FalloutJack

Yeah, the bolded would be one reason I'd have to say no. Also, the PCs are are rookie heroes who are literally just starting out, not people who have been doing this a while, so it wouldn't be a fit with the rest of the cast. Plus the time power would likely be OP anyway.

I appreciate the interest though! I'm not sure we're missing anything, but the more the merrier. I will say we're already planning how to integrate the two new PCs with the cast though, so I'll have to close the RP to new entrants once that happens.

Rise of the New Heroes

@Jarl Coolgruuf no problem!

The explanation of his defensive power is good, so thanks for that.

Alright, that makes sense. I don't really care so much about random henchmen or w/e, but my concern is that a supervillain or some other major character gets super strengthed to death super quickly, which is just boring story telling. I think as long as you're careful with that, I'm good with it.

Your character is approved! I'll send you the link to our Discord server.

Rise of the New Heroes

@Jarl Coolgruuf I liked the CS! Biography wise, the only thing I'd say needs to be changed is him knowing other people have powers. The people whose powers were "awakened" weren't really visible until the fight with Thundercloud. It's a small detail though, so I'm not too worried about it.

As for his powers, as long as he isn't instantly OTKOing supervillains with his strength, I think it'd be fine. I like the lack of control, it makes things interesting. One thing to clarify though, how much defensive ability does he have?

For the most part though, those are fairly minor clarifications/changes. I think it's a good CS and with that clarity I'll be able to approve it.

@Mintz I like your CS! If his power ends up being underpowered, I think there's a lot of room to grow, and Whitley could become a strong waterbender-esque character in time. I'll go ahead and send you the link to the Discord, welcome aboard!

@Jarl Coolgruuf @Mintz something to think about is what your characters were doing the night Thundercloud attacked. I don't think it makes sense to retcon your characters into the Thundercloud fight, so it's just something to consider.

Rise of the New Heroes

@ZapdosI think I might've mis-stated some things. Firstly;

1: Pete doesn't have much control over said adhesive quality at the moment, and even once he does, it won't change the fact that as far as stopping power goes, he's very lacking; he's only good for stalling adversaries unless he can put his noggin together for a creative solution, which he...Understandably struggles doing. Or assist other people, but in general this team lacks much stopping power right now lol.
2: I mentioned it rather simply. While killing him is a questionable prospect, if you can force him into something, like a jar or the sort, his liquid-like form will shape to fit the new home, and while he's stuck like that, he'll be unable to change back until he can re-assume at least a human-like shape in his slime form. Also, while he won't be dead, it's possible to tear/blow his slime body into pieces, making him take time to reform, which can take several minutes; a lot of valuable time to be effectively out of commission in a combat scenario.
3: This was just me overstating a bit; it can dissolve most things with time. Such as him absorbing theatre garbage and letting it stew for a couple of hours. It is by no means an instantaneous process, and things that strike at him aren't at any risk of being liquefied (until he can figure out how to concentrate that acidic quality some more).

Point is, yeah, he himself isn't under too much risk (unless he acts stupid....Which he certainly will), though he's vulnerable outside of this form. Not to mention, the tension is still there for him; while he's had a few times of being torn apart and put into pieces since his powers manifested, he isn't certain of the limit, nor is he eager to test it, whereas plenty of baddies would be happy to. And sure, maybe he won't have as much personal, bodily stake as some of the other heroes, but that means his stake is his fellow heroes. As the one guy both willing and able to put himself in harm's way, it falls on him to be the frontman of the group, so to speak, and any harm the others might take, he would likely feel falls onto him as the one who should be bearing that weight.

But overall, if I can't get this by, I'll shoot a different concept instead. Sometimes ya got the image in your head, and thinking of it any other way sorta scuffs the whole thing, ya feel? So I'll leave this in your hands.

@Mintz

Thanks for clarifying those points. While I do think that you addressed most of my concerns, the big one that remains is that a lot of the stakes disappear if Peter can't be killed. I'm not opposed to "tanky" characters if done right, but I think even limited invincibility is too much, so I have to reject the concept as it is. I understand not wanting to change the concept you have laid out, but I do encourage you to try the other concept you had in mind. As I said, Peter's biography was well done, and I enjoyed reading the CS.

Rise of the New Heroes

@Mintz your CS is interesting and I can tell you've put some thought into it. That being said, I think the power will need to be nerfed. Just a few things I noticed:

1) Peter lacks muscle, but he also has incredibly strong adhesive properties that can even beat people with super strength and can nullify most forms of harm, which seems to negate that weakness.
2) If the slime can reject/nullify most offense against it, how does one win against him?
3) If the slime can dissolve most things, it makes any physical weaponry effectively useless.

I don't know how much of the IC you've read so far, but something I've tried keeping consistent are that these are rookies who are facing real stakes. I won't spoil too much, but right now they're in the hospital after their first battle. If Peter can just regenerate himself fairly easily, a lot of the tension is effectively gone.

What I think could make sense is Peter being able to turn his arms and legs into slime and manipulating them, but not the rest of his body. That way Peter still has a variety of techniques he can use and it keeps the substance of the slime power in tact, but it brings the "power level" down to a more manageable level and there are real stakes for the man every time he fights. I think the adhesion is fine too if it's a little more grounded, so to speak; for example, he could stretch his slime to the ceiling to swing from it like Tarzan, but he can't envelope a super strength villain with it. Maybe he can harden the slime to the density of a normal human body so he can do stretchy punches with it too. I'd say the slime would have to have some vulnerability as well; something like if one bullet goes through it, it's fine, but if a slime arm gets sliced by a sword, it's gonna detach from Peter's body.

Does that make sense? I tried keeping everything organized but I feel like I rambled a bit there. What are your thoughts?

That all being said, the character's background and biography are great and I think the slacker dynamic would be an interesting fit with the team. It could be explained that Peter was really high the night everyone else fought Thundercloud, and so missed the battle :P

Rise of the New Heroes

A Hero RP that isn't dead? Well gosh darn, sign me on!....That, and I really dig the variety of abilities in the cast that I've read, even if it makes me a bit concerned I won't come up with somethin' that good lol. Oh well! Regardless, I'll see about posting up a CS sometime soon-ish

@Mintz

We aren't dead, but the post rate is pretty slow :P We do have a great cast though with a variety of abilities and @MagratheanWhale did rejoin us yesterday (99% of the OOC chat here is on our Discord server, which I provide to everyone who is accepted) so I'm confident in the long term success of this RP.

The main thing to remember for powers is that these are new heroes, not ones with a ton of experience, so you aren't going to be a pro with your powers right out of the gate. Keep that and the rules in the OOC in mind and you should be good to go, and as always, let me know if you have any questions!