Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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I really like your character, and you are a much better writer than I am xD


Glad you like him! But there's always room for improvement - even I have things I should be working on.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
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Savo Time to go to Hell

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We will check your characters out, but when the ooc comes up, please refrain from posting WIP. While it does help for us to look it over, we don't want to congest it at least. If you want to talk WIP over then, shoot us all a pm, we'll do fine there.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KaiserElectric
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@Lmpkio Calis looks pretty neat so far! My one quibble is that his weakness feels like more of a character flaw, and while what you have there is perfectly acceptable, in the weaknesses section we are specifically looking for weaknesses as a fighter. If it helps, try explaining what an enemy fighter would need to do to beat your guy.

Keep it up though, I'm hype to see the whole thing. ^^
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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We will check your characters out, but when the ooc comes up, please refrain from posting WIP. While it does help for us to look it over, we don't want to congest it at least. If you want to talk WIP over then, shoot us all a pm, we'll do fine there.


I have at least two other character ideas to fit the niche of the robot and myth standpoint (actually 3 if you consider a human - but I most likely wont use them all.

Character idea wise I have ideas a few examples:

This is for a possible heroic Mecha Robot Warrior:



An intelligent alien velociraptor loose from containment:



And a future time-traveling human who was sent to stop something or idk:



Again, these are all ideas. I'd at least use two more and nothing more.

@Lmpkio Calis looks pretty neat so far! My one quibble is that his weakness feels like more of a character flaw, and while what you have there is perfectly acceptable, in the weaknesses section we are specifically looking for weaknesses as a fighter. If it helps, try explaining what an enemy fighter would need to do to beat your guy.

Keep it up though, I'm hype to see the whole thing. ^^


Ah yes. I have a few ideas for that.

And glad you like him so far! :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
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It's probably because they had a lizard person in the true og version of this all :P

But it got replaced by an ice giant, so yeet.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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@Savo Btw, Ive finished the Draconian. I will now hold off until the OCC comes up before making new characters.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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Here's my character. Don't take some of the things I wrote too seriously, she's meant to be sort of parodic and over the top.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Squad 404
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Alright. Here's Malus. Hopefully he's not too crazy. I gave him a bit of an edge since I figure most people won't want to group up with him and he'll be mostly solo.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Megsychan
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Person from the old thread just stating her interest to play on this again when the new thread starts.

Also, I was the one who made the human character in the demo section. :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by DracoLunaris
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Interested, though I am not sure what I am going to do char wise yet.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
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This is going to get a bit busy with the four newest characters on the block; give me a bit, I'll try to get to them all @Lmpkio@Dead Cruiser@Valor@Bartimaeus, just let me get my utensils and put them all on the chopping block!

In other news, @Megsychan is the chick who did make Yeong-suk, a character mentioned in the op, along with wxp for Ivory and lavul for Rosie! Time to see how the new clashes with the old, aye?

@DracoLunaris well, take your time for now; we have another person who is working on their three charys in the shadows for now. I will state we are getting the ooc up tomorrow or on Wednesday, so if you feel comfortable then with all the info down, then we're cool with that.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Bartimaeus
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No rush friendo 😁
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by A Lowly Wretch
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Here's my character for your review. Hopefully he's acceptable enough.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
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Sorry for taking way too friggin' long to get a response to all of you guys; was between working on some portions of the ooc and some of my thoughts on your characters, as well as my third new character... and college work... yeeeeeaaaah... Regardless, let me put up what I currently have for a few of you people! And by few, I mean like, just two.



@Lmpkio, so far the appearance and personality seem par for the course when looking at him. A minor thing to note comes over when he was born. Could you possibly change it to be vague in that retrospect so we don't have the set date be like 2008 or something? Like say he was born around the time in the Qing Dynasty's decline? I do want to give more leeway to when this whole story kicks off as well, so that's me. Other than that, your story checks out... but moving on to your characters moves.

You might of gone overboard with him. He has average elemental attacks here and there that can cover for a variety of different situations while still being pretty strong. For the most part, he doesn't seem to have much flow with his kit. He can effectively rush anyone down just as easily as harassing them at range with a couple of his attacks. Along with that he has a couple of moves that either buff his speed or defense with the main downside of this is when he uses his abilities in extreme environments which comes off as super situational. Along with that, it doesn't even matter if he loses access as other attacks will become empowered in the process. He sacrifices a little bit of versatility for a much stronger attack.

Or maybe two attacks become stronger with the same cost as the one stated above. Currently don't see anything wrong with his supers right now.

Also, the final portion of weakness is a bit... meh. Powerful magic wielders can also defeat other peoples characters and heavy gun weaponry can cause harm to characters as well. Also, most of our cast is mortal too, so yeah, the final portion of his weaknesses basically can apply to almost everyone else.



@Dead Cruiser, parodic and over the top is fine, I could handle that.

The problem is she's too op. Like ridiculously op to the point where dramatic stakes become dramatic steaks with a side of ham... let me do my best to break down the OPG and why I cannot accept her in this state.

Unskilled but strong. I feel that's what comes up with this character, but there is literally no point to it at all. I'm pretty sure that none of the characters, let alone some of the bosses could match her strength, defense, or speed in battle. She seems to probably come off as a god in some of these cases with the only way to match her is to have her strength, speed, and defense.

You pointed out some of her weaknesses. Here's why they don't matter at all. You said she's inexperienced and just prefers to brute force her way through it all. You've even gone as far as to proclaim she is a superb martial artists as well which I feel undercuts what you're trying to describe. Defense being a concern doesn't matter since you already described her to have an impossible defense, with retreating being a legitimately silly notion since she can just blitz a person down and instantly punch them since her speed and strength are cranked up to the max.

Moving on to her endurance, you say she has a good amount of it by human standards and that using her strength is extremely taxing. Your character can nuke or one-shot someone before tiring out, so this downside is meaningless in the spectrum of things. Even you also shoot this weakness yourself.

Given that she has only rarely had a battle that lasts longer than a single strike, Makoto is completely oblivious to this weakness.


And more over, you said an experienced fighter can dodge, deflect, or endure her attacks. Problem. She has been described as having god-like speed and ends battles in a single strike. How can an experienced fighter dodge her if she's the fastest, deflect her if she is the strongest, or endure her strike if she ends things in one blow?

Moreover, back to the dramatic stakes. Everything would be downplayed with this chick and everything to a certain degree would be solved with her completely obliterating other opponents. Everyone fighting against a difficult enemy? Step on in and downplay everything they're doing by punching it once. Do what they couldn't do in one strike. Along with that, the tone of the rp would very quickly shift as well, probably the genre of it all, possibly making the wacky fighters more than just an afterthought at this point.

In a nutshell, she needs to be completely redone.



And that's all I got for now. Gonna go grab a bite or something before I get back to this all.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Bartimaeus
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"All of you guys"

*Cries*
Forgot about me xD
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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@Lmpkio, so far the appearance and personality seem par for the course when looking at him. A minor thing to note comes over when he was born. Could you possibly change it to be vague in that retrospect so we don't have the set date be like 2008 or something? Like say he was born around the time in the Qing Dynasty's decline? I do want to give more leeway to when this whole story kicks off as well, so that's me. Other than that, your story checks out... but moving on to your characters moves.


I don't believe you've told us the exact date on when the RP is taking place. Give me a solid year and I'll edit that portion quickly. I can otherwise make it vague if you so want.

You might of gone overboard with him. He has average elemental attacks here and there that can cover for a variety of different situations while still being pretty strong. For the most part, he doesn't seem to have much flow with his kit. He can effectively rush anyone down just as easily as harassing them at range with a couple of his attacks. Along with that he has a couple of moves that either buff his speed or defense with the main downside of this is when he uses his abilities in extreme environments which comes off as super situational. Along with that, it doesn't even matter if he loses access as other attacks will become empowered in the process. He sacrifices a little bit of versatility for a much stronger attack.

Or maybe two attacks become stronger with the same cost as the one stated above. Currently don't see anything wrong with his supers right now.


What might you suggest here? Should I get rid of the ranged attacks and make them more melee based? I want him to have such powers of elemental manipulation and even then I could've added more in (like ice, lightning, etc), but of course that would've been overkill.

Also, the final portion of weakness is a bit... meh. Powerful magic wielders can also defeat other peoples characters and heavy gun weaponry can cause harm to characters as well. Also, most of our cast is mortal too, so yeah, the final portion of his weaknesses basically can apply to almost everyone else.


There's not much else for me to say there. I mean, at least I don't think there is. I could add in the whole reptilian cold-blooded physic, in which he produces more sloppily in colder environments, or is weaker in cold environments, but even then that would be considered as situational.

If you have any ideas that you think can work, by all means let me hear them.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
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<Snipped quote by Savo>

I don't believe you've told us the exact date on when the RP is taking place. Give me a solid year and I'll edit that portion quickly. I can otherwise make it vague if you so want.


It's around 20XX, probably leaning more towards 201X. All I can say is it's better to leave it vague imo. This one is an easy fix.

<Snipped quote by Savo>

What might you suggest here? Should I get rid of the ranged attacks and make them more melee based? I want him to have such powers of elemental manipulation and even then I could've added more in (like ice, lightning, etc), but of course that would've been overkill.


I was thinking that you don't have to change it all since you're going for versatility, heck the character makes me think of the shotoclone archetype in fighting games to a certain degree. And I'm going to run with what you have with a few mild tweaks.

E.g. your character can have access to all your elemental abilities listed now, but not at the same time.

Your character could be focused on the environment at hand, using that to temper what element he imbues his attacks with from the start, maybe having him in a default state of Earth? He keeps the element until he changes it, i.e. through some sort of special move that has him focus on the environment around him to "understand" it or something. This allows him to change elements. For example, on a rainy day or by a body of water, he could focus and change it to the water element. On a sunny day or in the midst of a fire or place that is pretty dang hot, he could focus and blam, fire element.

You catch my drift, right? While this is situational, it would be up to your character to manipulate the environment and possibly other nomads to his advantage to set up a way so that he can switch elements. Moreover, instead of giving him slashes with different elements, he can have one slash with multiple elements attached on to it.

And he can keep the ranged attacks if he goes the shotoclone route as well. Another thing to make it unique is that certain aspects of him are bolstered and weakened. Fire would boost his attack but lower his defense, water would boost his defense but lower his speed, and air would boost his speed but lower his attack. Since earth is his default, he would be a jack of the all trades but master of none.

I feel this would improve your character, and not only that, it addresses the final issue I have below of involving weaknesses.

There's not much else for me to say there. I mean, at least I don't think there is. I could add in the whole reptilian cold-blooded physic, in which he produces more sloppily in colder environments, or is weaker in cold environments, but even then that would be considered as situational.


I mean, it's ok to point out things like that (i.e. bad at fighting in the cold), but don't point out the obvious if it isn't necessary. Involve things with your fighting and psychological. You got it down to a certain extent, but I feel it could be improved through the methods explained above. If your want an example of a shotoclone sort of dude and their weaknesses, I recommend you check out this link and look at the character named Justin Haggar.

roleplayerguild.com/posts/4141151

That's all hope this helps and I hope I did not drastically deviate from what you wanted with your lizard wizard.

"All of you guys"

*Cries*
Forgot about me xD


You aren't apart of the collective confirmed, gtfo now or assimilate :^)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Bartimaeus
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i sent you me character :'(
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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@Savo I think I can solve pretty much all of your issues by saying that she's never fought a Nomad before. Makoto is ludicrously powerful by normal human standards. By Nomad standards, she's pretty good, definitely remarkable in terms of sheer physical ability, but is far from the end-all-be-all.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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It's around 20XX, probably leaning more towards 201X. All I can say is it's better to leave it vague imo. This one is an easy fix.


Figures at much. Actually, my human character I am currently developing is from the future, so that also helps with that portion.

I will make Callus' age vague for the time being.

I was thinking that you don't have to change it all since you're going for versatility, heck the character makes me think of the shotoclone archetype in fighting games to a certain degree. And I'm going to run with what you have with a few mild tweaks.

E.g. your character can have access to all your elemental abilities listed now, but not at the same time.


I almost added a similar outcome regarding the whole changing elements separately but with a cooldown to their abilities (as shown with the buffs). I can add something similar to like Shulk in SSB4, where once you choose a monodo buff to him, unless you hard cancel the ability, it stays on you for some time before naturally wearing off. I can do something like this and have a cooldown for each element he primarily uses and finishes off with.

That being said...

Your character could be focused on the environment at hand, using that to temper what element he imbues his attacks with from the start, maybe having him in a default state of Earth? He keeps the element until he changes it, i.e. through some sort of special move that has him focus on the environment around him to "understand" it or something. This allows him to change elements. For example, on a rainy day or by a body of water, he could focus and change it to the water element. On a sunny day or in the midst of a fire or place that is pretty dang hot, he could focus and blam, fire element.

You catch my drift, right?


Pretty much.

It' essentially the mindset I had in mind regarding the whole elemental thing with the different weather and environments.

Although I will say, the meditation is definitely something I can incorporate into him, as if he's communicating with the earth around him and extracting the natural elemental ki his surrounding provides.

While this is situational, it would be up to your character to manipulate the environment and possibly other nomads to his advantage to set up a way so that he can switch elements. Moreover, instead of giving him slashes with different elements, he can have one slash with multiple elements attached on to it.


So if a fire type nomand is nearby, he can harnass his power and transform into said element? I can definitely get behind this, as well as the multiple elements.

I originally wanted to do something with combining these elements as well, but wasn't sure how it would feel with you.

Regardless, it seems you like it, so I will also add a very similar power move to that as well.

And he can keep the ranged attacks if he goes the shotoclone route as well. Another thing to make it unique is that certain aspects of him are bolstered and weakened. Fire would boost his attack but lower his defense, water would boost his defense but lower his speed, and air would boost his speed but lower his attack. Since earth is his default, he would be a jack of the all trades but master of none.


Essentially, the Earth and Air Buffs already do this, but I definitely see where you are going with this. I will surely keep this in mind.

I feel this would improve your character, and not only that, it addresses the final issue I have below of involving weaknesses.

I mean, it's ok to point out things like that (i.e. bad at fighting in the cold), but don't point out the obvious if it isn't necessary. Involve things with your fighting and psychological. You got it down to a certain extent, but I feel it could be improved through the methods explained above. If your want an example of a shotoclone sort of dude and their weaknesses, I recommend you check out this link and look at the character named Justin Haggar.

roleplayerguild.com/posts/4141151


Yeah, tbh I was at a blank for what notable weaknesses he can have. But like you said, with these elements and their different overall buffs, I can definitely see how I can naturally impliment and original weakness for Callus.

(I will make sure to check Haggar once I get the chance too.

That's all hope this helps and I hope I did not drastically deviate from what you wanted with your lizard wizard.


("Lizard Wizard" lol - you weren't the first to say that. Alas, the first guy who said this wasnt referring to this character lol it was a different one)

But no, you actually enhanced and balanced him quite well. Thank you for your help! I will make sure to add all the necessary changes to him soon.

(Also a hint to my next character... he may be slightly story related to that Korean girl in a way... at least eye-to-eye anyways. :P)
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