Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Temporary
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My entry is stupid fucking late but the thing was still open so fight me
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by BrokenPromise
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All muh boys came to play!



So excited!
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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I'll be reading and submitting reviews for all entries eventually. Though I'm pretty sure two of those were posted past the deadline...(not that rule bending hasn't been allowed and won in the past.) I guess I'll feel a little rigged that one of the problems I had of worrying I wouldn't meet deadline would be proven moot, as the one that had a character limit that was broken with abandon, and more than likely won because of it. So while I'll still read them, and point of my favorites. I don't think I can personally/in good conscious, vote for something that didn't follow the rules set before it.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Exit
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Timezones are something to consider.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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Timezones can be confusing like that.
I must admit I was unsure what the exact deadline was in my timezone, so I made sure to finish my final correction round on the 27th and posted it that evening, just before going to bed. A good thing too, because the 28th we had visitors over :)

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Temporary
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My entry is probably the only one that's extensively late, to be fair, and that is entirely my fault. While I was meant to do it yesterday, I've been ill since Saturday and sort of kind of fell asleep before I could get on with it; I basically rush wrote my entry from between 10am and 1pm today hoping that the thread wouldn't be closed by the time I finished.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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@Exit Well to be fair, I believe the time was/is specified to be EST or something like that. So it still relies on the participants to follow a schedule, even if it gives them a slight challenge because they're on different time zones.

@Vocab Stuff happens. It's my fault alone that I didn't finish mine, though I never choose to be sick the whole time. Not everyone, helk more than likely very few people, actually care about the specific rules anyway. If it's a good story in that person's opinion, I'm sure it will win out in the end. Rules usually have to be consistently followed for them to really have any weight. So it's just really an esoteric gripe.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Exit
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@SleepingSilence I must have missed that specification. I have a habit of overlooking the smaller details but you do bring up a good point: Deadlines may need to be timezone specific? That might just be for me though since I too tend to push thing out to the last minute. Ultimately however, it is up to Frizan.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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@Exit To be perfectly fair. I believe that information was only interpreted from the last contest having a similar question asked about it. And the reply was specifying the timezone in question. But not everyone follows every contest, and they can't assume such. So since that may not be displayed, I'm sure that could lead to this kind of situation.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Silver
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Though I'm pretty sure two of those were posted past the deadline...


I had mine up before midnight EST on the 28th, though I wrote it in a frenzy in the two hours before. I note the original thread says "by the 28th;" if this means before the 28th and not before the end of it, then I guess I was late. I'm not sure.

If the ruling comes down that it was in fact late, then I'll happily withdraw from consideration. I entered the contest to break a dry spell, and I'll have a bit of confidence back whether or not I actually participate.

(I'll still read / vote on all the entries either way. Y'all are too talented for me to pass up the opportunity.)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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@Silver Nah that's fine, I saw you post yours around 11:00 - 11:30 I believe? So you're perfectly fine. I doubt any entry will be voided for the competition. Especially since it's fairly niche enough of a contest as it is. Not exactly prize money or anything particular at stake. It's really just in spirit of your fellow roleplayer/good form.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Due to how my own schedule works, and also because I prefer to have a bit of a grace period for entries, I usually have a soft deadline and a hard deadline. Soft deadline being what's in the OP of each Prompt and Entry thread. The "hard" deadline is typically sometime the day after(usually when I get off work, lel).

Speaking of, I believe the hard deadline for this contest has been reached. Thus, I shall close the Prompt and Entries thread and put together the voting thread!

Oh, and I will admit the rules for my specific contests are more like guidelines. Staying within them would be nice, but if you believe your entry can be made to be truly exceptional by bending them, then by all means, go ahead.

Though of course some rules are non-negotiable, such as the entry having to be in line with the prompt, obviously.

I do apologize to anyone that joins my contests in the future expecting some kind of rule-lawyered bloodsport where the losers' souls are fed to the user with the winning entry to gain their powers or something. Just isn't how I generally run stuff like this.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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I read all the entries, I will post my reviews in the voting and critique thread soon. Tomorrow, or maybe the day after.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by BrokenPromise
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What is the deadline for votes? I might have looked past it but I didn't see it.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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What is the deadline for votes? I might have looked past it but I didn't see it.


I don't think I've ever set a specific hard deadline but I generally give it a week, though this time it may be longer due to the size of the entries.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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@Calle No. I'm sure that has to do with lack of given polish on my end. I fully intend on tearing into my own work with a critical lens. Because I understand my writing well. And I decided I didn't really like my story very much. And perhaps maybe I'll shed some light on what other acts would've been, and how I intended to write it. The sentences are extended to combat the accusations/actual writing errors of sentence fragments. I'll have to give another glance at the work, to see if I created a few run-on sentences in its place. I'll also look into that as well, because the latter probably is the correct/concise way to construct those sentences.

Appreciate the review.




I have read and written two reviews. A flu shot kicking my ass and busy days/nights have made the process take a while. I hope I'll have more good things to say, so I don't come across so overtly negative. They're still coming along.




Edit: @Silver Thanks for the review as well.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Temporary
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@Briza Why are you thanking me what did I do wrong XD
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B-briza?
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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@Exit
I wasn't going to critique your work on the grounds of submitting an incomplete entry that isn't participating. It seems unfair for both parties involved.


No, I'm glad you did. Besides, nothing you critiqued was related to plot, theme, story mechanics which I hadn't been able to finish. (Though you still could have.)

However, going through what you submitted, I'm reminded of a previous issue I wanted to bring up to you in regards another piece you wrote. Given the number of contests that have taken place between then and now, it seems a good point to discuss as it is still relevant.

I feel as though you season your writing with commas like salt, sprinkling them in and letting them fall where they may. It makes for a confusing read and frankly, smothers my 'vision' of the scene you're trying to paint.

I had difficulty understanding exactly what was unfolding.


Now, after giving my work another glance. I don't doubt that there's a few instances where I have commas where I don't need them. Though the idea that it mirrors my previous work is a challenging thought, because I purposely extended many of my sentences so that they would have as much words crammed in their as possible without punctuation. Like I'm staring at my writing, and the amount of commas I have in it that if aren't included make the progression of the scene confusing is not that many? Especially, compared to my last entry.

In which instances would be these actively grammatically incorrect? Or is that not the problem?

(I wish examples were provided on which paragraphs were difficult to parse/understand and why.)
Your writing... refuses to let me use my lungs. Commas and periods and hyphens elicit breaks or a chance for a reader to pause and breath and consider what is being read. Breathe too much and you hyperventilate and get a little dizzy and need to take a break... from breathing. Hold your breath to long and you'll pass out. You have to manage it, especially when reading.

There is no regulation to be found here and it leaves me... exhausted. Breathless as if I've just run a mile.


Okay, I'm going to assume between the flavor text. The advice/point is that you want me to read out the writing and keep the punctuation in mind. Right? But you mention the hyphens, and there's not a single instance where that is used that I wouldn't have used it and didn't use it for its intended effect. You are in the characters head, both who are in a panic. Honestly, I know how all that purple prose was suppose to come off, and the bit of information I could actually use to improve. But I wrote something to feel oppressive (from the prompts explanation that this wouldn't be easy for the characters. So I'm surprised how few people wrote suffering/challenged characters. Some literally pushing over their opposition with little effort. Which came across as the antithesis of the prompts purpose.) and the characters to be panicked and paranoid...kind of sounds like I did my job well.

"Crossing the dump and reaching an enormous obsidian wall, a large gate with four levers, which required grabbing the handles, two pairs in a horizontal line beside each other on opposite sides of the door. Opening it by pushing them forward at the same time. His analysis was proven correct, as Rytok grabbed both handles on the west side."

Or:

"Crossing the dump and reaching an enormous obsidian wall, Ohwo came upon a large gate with four levers; two pairs in a horizontal line beside each other on opposite sides of the door. Figuring he could open the gate by pushing them forward at the same time, his analysis was proven correct when Rytok grabbed both handles on the west side."

Added a few extra words, removed a comma and replaced another with a semicolon. Also removed an entire fragment with instruction on how to work a lever. It's not perfect and there are other changes that could be made to further improve the few lines, but it reads easier.


I have no problems with your correction. Though I feel this is a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation for me. Last time I used semicolons, every single person was telling me how I didn't ever need to use them. I could have replaced it with commas instead. So, I actually agree that a semicolon would work better here. But if I had done that, I feel like someone who have pointed that out as a bad thing.

In the way you describe the hyphens, leaving you so exhausted that it leaves you dizzy and dead. I feel like a personality/writing style clash is taking place, more than a critique of what does/doesn't strictly work.

In the same way, you expressed that things pause too often. When another reader pointed out my sentences are too long. Which, if I'm not mistaken, contradict and make it harder to really grasp it, if nothing is provided for me to understand. Not saying different people can't feel differently, but neither provided real sentences behind the words. So taking mental notes are the closest I can get to implementing the advice.

Your sliding in and out of tenses at will further disrupts what otherwise looks like a promising premise.


Again, I wish examples were provided. Though I'm sure that and the other things mentioned could use some form of improvement. The kind of thing I'm sure wouldn't have been as big an issue if I had time to polish it.

You have a wide range of vocabulary and the descriptive language needed to paint a beautiful picture. Interesting worlds to borrow from and the ability to laden work with emotion without shoving it in the reader's face. Work on sentence structure and you're golden.


Well clearly attempts to change my sentence structure doesn't always have any noticeable impact to how people view the story. But I greatly appreciate spending your time to review it. Thank you. :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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I've closed the voting thread and I'll be tallying up the votes after I get home from work tonight(got moved to third shift, so that's fun), but like the other contests I'll be leaving the discussion thread up, so feel free to put any further reviews in here!
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