Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KazAlkemi
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KazAlkemi Everdark

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@ZoeMcQueen95
it's true. I was confused but reread the rules again and it presented itself on a silver platter. Just take a minute to clear your eyes from computer screen trauma and then you'll see it :-)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by PrinceAlexus
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PrinceAlexus necromancer of Dol Guldur

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@ZoeMcQueen95
it's true. I was confused but reread the rules again and it presented itself on a silver platter. Just take a minute to clear your eyes from computer screen trauma and then you'll see it :-)


If it helps i found, It seems easier to detect on pc, chrome.
On a mobile browser it'd harder to find than PC.

Bigger display. More room to break things down.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by BlueSky44
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BlueSky44 Tech Monkey

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Here, sorry it has taken me a while, been planning other things. Now that I'm posting this, off to go deal with other RPs that I'm in.




Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by ZoeMcQueen95
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ZoeMcQueen95 The Titanic Nerd

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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Peridot
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Peridot Clods!

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Okay, I'm going to post the reviews myself and the Co-GM have done so far, and then get to the newer applications afterwards.

@Garden Gnome
Heidi Keller:
  • The picture you've used is unfortunately too old. If you can find one of the same person when she was younger, or an alternative, that would be great.
  • Her age doesn't correlate with birthday and school year. If she's already 15, she'd be a sixth year, so you'll need to pop her age down to 14 until her birthday occurs in the IC.
  • We'll need some reasons for why those subjects are favourite and least favourite.


Other than that, she's awesome! Love the counterpart to her Boggart, it did indeed make me giggle. :)




@World Traveler
Devin Coal:
While there are numerous issues with your sheet, I won't bother pointing out every single thing. The fact that half of your personality was simply copied from a personality website proves that you don't care about the rules, the roleplay, or putting any effort into your writing. Please don't apply again.




@Agent 47
Thomas Bergstrom:
I'm not entirely sure if this is the finished product, as the backstory ends on a half-way done sentence? Either way, here's some feedback:
  • His Riddikulus charm doesn't really produce anything humorous? Cute yes, but it's not quite funny.
  • I'd like more detail in the appearance section.
  • His backstory is quite sparse considering he's a Muggleborn. The sudden knowledge of the world of magic is groundbreaking, enough so that it warrants a reaction from himself and his parents. How did they cope with it?
  • "As it was, Tom was a wizard (surprise surprise), but his parents obviously didn’t know that. Because the nearby magical institute, Durmstrangs, did not accept Muggle-borns, it was unlikely that they would come to know that Tom was a wizard if the family did not move to London when Tom was 9. At age 11, the family was informed that Tom was a wizard, and that he would be sent to Hogwarts." This bit confused me. Did they move to London when he was 9 because they knew Durmstrang wouldn't accept him? Or did they move there regardless of knowing about the institute? If they did, why even mention that in his bio when it's not relevant? On that note, if they didn't know about his magic, why did they move to England?


Fix these parts up and he's good! I also liked the extra bit about his many detentions. Everyone loves a rebel Harry. XD




@Italicized





@Elkhar
Adrian Crawford:
Lovely character! He's accepted and can be posted in the character tab. :)




@Ejected
So so so sorry for my delay in answering you! I've had a hectic few days. Your revisions are perfect (Awesome Boggarts - I was laughing imagining the riddikulus charms), and both Honey and Andreas can be moved to the character tab. :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Hitman
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Hitman Loosey Goosey

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@Peridot

I'll make the corrections to the backstory tomorrow, but the move-to-London thing was intended as a coincidental, lucky break for Tom thing. I'll make up a muggle reason for moving.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Garden Gnome
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Garden Gnome Definitely made in IKEA

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@Peridot

I think I managed to find a picture of her back she was in her mid teens, let me know if this will do? I have also corrected her age and added in some reasons for her subjects.



Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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@Peridot Are you still accepting new applications?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Peridot
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@Aislynn

We certainly are!
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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Awesome! I'll get working on a character then ^_^
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Peridot
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Peridot Clods!

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@Aislynn

I should mention now that there's a temporary stop to any more Fifth Year Characters, and also Female characters. On my current roster of accepted/potential characters, there's 9 females to 5 males. Going to need that balancing out a bit more I'm afraid.

@Garden Gnome
Your changes are perfect! Nice picture - she's free to be posted in the character tab.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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@Peridot The one I was working on is fourth year anyway. And no worries, I can play a guy ^_^
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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Just gotta change the name, a few things in the appearance, and all the pronouns. Should be up soon.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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@Peridot Sorry it took so long, my family wanted me to visit them. I should have it up later today.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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@Peridot




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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Peridot
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Peridot Clods!

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@Aislynn

Awesome! Will have your review up with the others at some point in the next two days. :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aislynn
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Sorry the writing sample is kinda rushed, I had trouble fitting the entire scene into a few paragraphs
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Peridot
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Peridot Clods!

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@Aislynn

It's quite alright, I didn't get a rushed vibe from it! Reviews should be up at some point tomorrow. :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Fury Panda
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Fury Panda The Very Average

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I'm interested in joining, I'll put in a submission soon.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Fury Panda
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Fury Panda The Very Average

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