Briar Woke up in her bed and stretched, before getting up and walking over to her mirror.
"Girls we've got work to do..." She looked at her make-up.
"Pass me the paint... And glue..." She splattered her face with a combination of chemicals, rubbing them in.
"Perfect isn't easy" She shook her head
"But it's me!" She smiled, as her face now looked as perfect as the morning sun. She kicked herself away from the table, before strutting towards the stairs
"When one knows the world is watching
One does what one must
Some minor adjustments, darling
Not for my vanity, but for humanity"As she kicked open the front door and strutted out into the woods.
"Each little step a pose
See how the breeding shows
Sometimes it's too much
For even me!"As she strutted through the forest, a number of other
Perfectly Chizzled Men took notice of her beauty.
"But when all the world says, "Yes"
Then who am I to say "No"?
Don't ask a mutt to strut like a show girl
No, girl, you need a pro"As the men seemed to trip over themselves stumbling after her, she would look them over, before kicking them away, pickily.
"Not a flea or a flaw
Take a peek at that paw
La dee da da
Perfection becomes me, n'est-ce pas?"As the men watched her arrive at a large waterfall, they hid in the bushes and watched her walk beneath the waterfall, throwing her clothes out. The perfectly formed silhouette being the only thing visible through the water. Their tongues all collectively rolled out of their heads before spelling out the words "Hubba-Hubba" on the floor.
"Unrivaled, unruffled
I'm beauty unleashed, yeah
Jaws drop, hearts stop
So classic and classy; we're not talking Lassie"She jumped out and revealed herself in her
Perfect princess dress"And ahh! Ahh! Ooh!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ruff ruff ruff! Ow!"She sang, the men practically picking her up to carry her across any and all mud, caking themselves as they desperately tripped over themselves for her.
"Though many covet my bone and bowl
They're barking up the wrong tree"As they carried her back to the cottage, she stepped on their faces as steps, going back up to her room, all the men more than happy for this.
"You pretty pups all over the city
I have your hearts and you have my pity"She leaned out of the window, looked at the men, pointed at Philip, before pulling him up into her room. She shoved a mirror into his hand and oggled herself in it.
"Pretty is nice, but still
It's just pretty
Perfect, my dears"She then pushed him out of the window, him falling back into the crowd of Princess, who caught him.
"Is me!" As she hit the final note, she slammed her window shut