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BaconRenar & Fleuri
The next afternoon, Renar strode through Candaeln's halls once he'd finished the day's training, intent on a task. It wasn't one he wanted to do, but leave it for too long and it could morph into something worse.
A few inquiries to passing knights led him to a side hall, where, lo and behold, he actually had the good fortune to happen upon who he'd been searching for.
”Sir Fleuri.” Renar inclined his head, interrupting whatever Fleuri had been passing through this hall for. ”At the ball, I believe I mentioned that I would owe you a boon for aid rendered. You held up your end of the deal, so now it comes to me. Is there any small favor you'd wish of me?” He needed to clear this as soon as possible, before Fleuri got any ideas in the future about Renar oweing him anything.
"Hmm, small favor?" Fleuri stopped as Renar addressed him. He had been returning from the library, looking for information on some of the unresolved questions his dream had left him with.
Renar wasn't a knight that he interacted with a lot. In fact, Renar seemed almost standoffish with him ordinarily, only having dropped the act when he desired something from Fleuri at the ball.
Fleuri didn't see much point in holding onto the favor owed. No need to hang it over Renar's head. Still, he didn't really need much from Renar. Most small matters could be handled by the castle servants. Larger matters, like those on the battlefield, were not meant to be owed and repaid, but freely shared between oath-bound knight-brothers. A more roguish knight like Lein would no doubt find a use for calling in a favor from Renar, but what good was it to Fleuri?
Actually, there was one thing that he could ask for- answers.
"There is something I would like to ask of you," Fleuri replied. "You seem to be somewhat standoff-ish with me when you don't want something out of me. Why? Have I wronged or offended you in some manner?"
It's probably the thing with the griffin, isn't it?
Of all the things Fleuri could have asked of him, this was what he settled on? Renar barely resisted the urge to frown. He could lie. He should lie. It would be best for everyone involved. There was no point in impacting group cohesion by speaking spiteful truths, even if he was prompted.
But two things stopped him. First, if nothing else, Renar had given his word. He wasn't Gerard or Fionn, but even he wouldn't retract an offer once it was made. Some things just weren't done if one wanted to ensure that others took him seriously. The second? Well. He did enjoy spitting spiteful truths at others just a bit too much.
”I wouldn't have wasted it on this, but I'll oblige.” Renar said coldly, openly letting his frown show on his face. ”You lived a life I could only dream of accomplishing. Fame, prestige, the adultation of our peers. All things denied to me by the circumstances of my birth. And then you threw it all away. How could I not find such a thing galling?”
So it was jealousy. Fleuri knew of the unjust circumstances of Renar's upbringing, but hadn't spoken to him about it. Did Renar wish to be a tournament competitor, only to be denied by the circumstances of his birth.
In his jealousy, he had ignored that he was not the only one who had challenges. In Fleuri's case, it was his family's lack of wealth. During his time as a squire and early career as a knight, a proper plate harness and war horse had been out of his reach. It was one of the reasons he had been so bitter that his mentor had not allowed him to obtain any glory or spoils in the War of the Red Flag. However, he hesitated to bring it up- suggesting that a noble like himself didn't always have it easy- would only anger Renar more.
"I did not throw it away," he stated. "I had an epiphany of the pettiness of what I was doing, and left to pursue a calling higher than that of a glorified entertainer. Everything worthwhile I gained from my tournament career- my armor, my horse, my experience, my reputation with a sword and lance- I took with me when I joined the Iron Roses."
Fleuri suspected that Renar took much of the same things when he left the ungrateful service of House Brias.
"But if I can't convince you, look at yourself now, Sir Renar," Fleuri continued. "The most influential nobles in Thaln witnessed you besting a Crown Knight in a duel at the ball. I don't think you will have any future trouble getting into a tournament slot. Captain willing it, of course."
Frankly, Renar didn't know which was worse. The self-righteousness or the fact that Fleuri had the privilege to call those things that were denied him petty. But it would be petty for someone that was able to simply walk in and seize glory without issue, wouldn't it?
"Don't patronize me." Renar said flatly. "It's always been the same. I have to go above and beyond to win the same privileges afforded to the trueborn by birth, simply because my honored lord father decided to tup a serving wench months before wedding his second wife. This isn't about the actual tournament. Only that I have to seemingly move mountains to be afforded the same chance as most of my peers, despite the fact that my merit shines above theirs." His tone was calm, measured. He'd had years and years to stew on this. Nothing he said was in the heat of the moment.
"For the sake of our continued working relationship on the field, I will admit that my problem is not with you specifically. You are, if anything, a symptom. But it still galls me. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"
Fleuri was a taken aback by the venom and bitterness in Renar's words. It was understandeable that Renar was upset at the injustice of his upbringing, but it sounded like he resented Fleuri for having it easier. Such resentment was a dangerous thing, no matter where you were on the social ladder. Was it even possible to dissuade Renar from harboring such contempt?
"Do you believe you would have been satisfied with your lot in life if your father had granted you a noble title, or would you instead harbor resentment for things that even the most meritorious noble men are forever denied in our society, such as captaincy of the Iron Roses? Would it have been enough to have been afforded the same opportunities as the brothers you grew up alongside?" he asked. "No matter how high or low of a position you are born to, it is inevitable that you'll run into someone who has it easier despite inferior merit."
"Of course it would have." Renar spat in response, a fire blazing in his gaze. Sun and Moon help him, that was literally what he had already said. Truly, the term self-righteous idiot was a tautology.
"Did you miss the part where wanting the opportunity was exactly what I'd stated? If you want to understand, do so on your own time. You asked your question, and I've answered to the best of my ability. This didn't give you leave to begin moralizing at me. I can tolerate it from Fionn. Not from you. So if we're quite finished here..." Renar made a show of deliberately turning his back on Fleuri, though not without a final parting comment.
"Rest assured, I'm not about to abandon you on the battlefield by any means. Keep our relationship strictly professional, and we'll have no issues. Is that understood?"
Fleuri paused. He wasn't sure what he could say to make Renar less angry. If he had been more diplomatic, if he hadn't blundered through this conversation, would he have been able to turn aside the vitriol? Or did Renar just want to be angry? Despite everything that this knight had achieved and gained, he seemed more interested in stewing in his own bitterness than holding any appreciation for the blessings and opportunities that he did have.
It actually stung him a little bit, because Fleuri greatly admired Renar's rise to nobility. Nevertheless, Fleuri considered the insight gained from this conversation- the knowledge that Renar hated him- to be a potentially useful piece of information. It was better to know that he was despised so that he may be able to raise his guard than to remain blissfully unaware and vulnerable.
"I understand," Fleuri answered as he began to walk away, without looking at Renar. "Thank you for repaying the favor, Sir Renar. This conversation has been most informative."
A few inquiries to passing knights led him to a side hall, where, lo and behold, he actually had the good fortune to happen upon who he'd been searching for.
”Sir Fleuri.” Renar inclined his head, interrupting whatever Fleuri had been passing through this hall for. ”At the ball, I believe I mentioned that I would owe you a boon for aid rendered. You held up your end of the deal, so now it comes to me. Is there any small favor you'd wish of me?” He needed to clear this as soon as possible, before Fleuri got any ideas in the future about Renar oweing him anything.
"Hmm, small favor?" Fleuri stopped as Renar addressed him. He had been returning from the library, looking for information on some of the unresolved questions his dream had left him with.
Renar wasn't a knight that he interacted with a lot. In fact, Renar seemed almost standoffish with him ordinarily, only having dropped the act when he desired something from Fleuri at the ball.
Fleuri didn't see much point in holding onto the favor owed. No need to hang it over Renar's head. Still, he didn't really need much from Renar. Most small matters could be handled by the castle servants. Larger matters, like those on the battlefield, were not meant to be owed and repaid, but freely shared between oath-bound knight-brothers. A more roguish knight like Lein would no doubt find a use for calling in a favor from Renar, but what good was it to Fleuri?
Actually, there was one thing that he could ask for- answers.
"There is something I would like to ask of you," Fleuri replied. "You seem to be somewhat standoff-ish with me when you don't want something out of me. Why? Have I wronged or offended you in some manner?"
It's probably the thing with the griffin, isn't it?
Of all the things Fleuri could have asked of him, this was what he settled on? Renar barely resisted the urge to frown. He could lie. He should lie. It would be best for everyone involved. There was no point in impacting group cohesion by speaking spiteful truths, even if he was prompted.
But two things stopped him. First, if nothing else, Renar had given his word. He wasn't Gerard or Fionn, but even he wouldn't retract an offer once it was made. Some things just weren't done if one wanted to ensure that others took him seriously. The second? Well. He did enjoy spitting spiteful truths at others just a bit too much.
”I wouldn't have wasted it on this, but I'll oblige.” Renar said coldly, openly letting his frown show on his face. ”You lived a life I could only dream of accomplishing. Fame, prestige, the adultation of our peers. All things denied to me by the circumstances of my birth. And then you threw it all away. How could I not find such a thing galling?”
So it was jealousy. Fleuri knew of the unjust circumstances of Renar's upbringing, but hadn't spoken to him about it. Did Renar wish to be a tournament competitor, only to be denied by the circumstances of his birth.
In his jealousy, he had ignored that he was not the only one who had challenges. In Fleuri's case, it was his family's lack of wealth. During his time as a squire and early career as a knight, a proper plate harness and war horse had been out of his reach. It was one of the reasons he had been so bitter that his mentor had not allowed him to obtain any glory or spoils in the War of the Red Flag. However, he hesitated to bring it up- suggesting that a noble like himself didn't always have it easy- would only anger Renar more.
"I did not throw it away," he stated. "I had an epiphany of the pettiness of what I was doing, and left to pursue a calling higher than that of a glorified entertainer. Everything worthwhile I gained from my tournament career- my armor, my horse, my experience, my reputation with a sword and lance- I took with me when I joined the Iron Roses."
Fleuri suspected that Renar took much of the same things when he left the ungrateful service of House Brias.
"But if I can't convince you, look at yourself now, Sir Renar," Fleuri continued. "The most influential nobles in Thaln witnessed you besting a Crown Knight in a duel at the ball. I don't think you will have any future trouble getting into a tournament slot. Captain willing it, of course."
Frankly, Renar didn't know which was worse. The self-righteousness or the fact that Fleuri had the privilege to call those things that were denied him petty. But it would be petty for someone that was able to simply walk in and seize glory without issue, wouldn't it?
"Don't patronize me." Renar said flatly. "It's always been the same. I have to go above and beyond to win the same privileges afforded to the trueborn by birth, simply because my honored lord father decided to tup a serving wench months before wedding his second wife. This isn't about the actual tournament. Only that I have to seemingly move mountains to be afforded the same chance as most of my peers, despite the fact that my merit shines above theirs." His tone was calm, measured. He'd had years and years to stew on this. Nothing he said was in the heat of the moment.
"For the sake of our continued working relationship on the field, I will admit that my problem is not with you specifically. You are, if anything, a symptom. But it still galls me. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"
Fleuri was a taken aback by the venom and bitterness in Renar's words. It was understandeable that Renar was upset at the injustice of his upbringing, but it sounded like he resented Fleuri for having it easier. Such resentment was a dangerous thing, no matter where you were on the social ladder. Was it even possible to dissuade Renar from harboring such contempt?
"Do you believe you would have been satisfied with your lot in life if your father had granted you a noble title, or would you instead harbor resentment for things that even the most meritorious noble men are forever denied in our society, such as captaincy of the Iron Roses? Would it have been enough to have been afforded the same opportunities as the brothers you grew up alongside?" he asked. "No matter how high or low of a position you are born to, it is inevitable that you'll run into someone who has it easier despite inferior merit."
"Of course it would have." Renar spat in response, a fire blazing in his gaze. Sun and Moon help him, that was literally what he had already said. Truly, the term self-righteous idiot was a tautology.
"Did you miss the part where wanting the opportunity was exactly what I'd stated? If you want to understand, do so on your own time. You asked your question, and I've answered to the best of my ability. This didn't give you leave to begin moralizing at me. I can tolerate it from Fionn. Not from you. So if we're quite finished here..." Renar made a show of deliberately turning his back on Fleuri, though not without a final parting comment.
"Rest assured, I'm not about to abandon you on the battlefield by any means. Keep our relationship strictly professional, and we'll have no issues. Is that understood?"
Fleuri paused. He wasn't sure what he could say to make Renar less angry. If he had been more diplomatic, if he hadn't blundered through this conversation, would he have been able to turn aside the vitriol? Or did Renar just want to be angry? Despite everything that this knight had achieved and gained, he seemed more interested in stewing in his own bitterness than holding any appreciation for the blessings and opportunities that he did have.
It actually stung him a little bit, because Fleuri greatly admired Renar's rise to nobility. Nevertheless, Fleuri considered the insight gained from this conversation- the knowledge that Renar hated him- to be a potentially useful piece of information. It was better to know that he was despised so that he may be able to raise his guard than to remain blissfully unaware and vulnerable.
"I understand," Fleuri answered as he began to walk away, without looking at Renar. "Thank you for repaying the favor, Sir Renar. This conversation has been most informative."