Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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Mao Mao Sheriff of Pure Hearts (They/Them)

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Also, I saw that some of you posted second characters. Well, it might be interesting to note that I also have a second character (even comes with its own playlist).




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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

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Season 2 CS (need to fill in the catalogue0


Reposting TWS, will edit this depending on what webby decides regarding Cap


The Guardians look good to go, although you don't need to get approval for the updated sheets. Just wanted to make the information more readily available.

I do have some concerns with the Winter Soldier application though. We have a pretty firm no villain rule and if I'm understanding the concept correctly, it sounds as though you're intending on playing her as such. Unless I'm completely off base and she's more of an anti-hero in which case, please let me know. I'm just trying to balance precedent in such a way that it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

As an aside to everyone submitting secondary sheets, please remember the strain that running two characters in this type of game brings. If you feel you're going to be able to keep up and won't suffer any issues, then awesome. But if you're just looking for something different but not quite willing to let your primary go, then it might be worth reconsidering your secondary. There are very few examples of someone successfully running two characters in these games and I'd hate to see anyone burn out. After all, you're never just playing one character, you're playing a character, their allies and their foes. You are writing a complete story within a larger game, picking up a secondary means running two such stories now and managing the time for them.

Just some food for thought.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Simple Unicycle
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Simple Unicycle ?

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Hey gay lords. It's ya boi Uni, back at it again with that faceless guy.

In case this isn't obvious yes I'm dropping Blade as I said in the Discord.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Byrd Man
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Byrd Man El Hombre Pájaro

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I hate you.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Simple Unicycle
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Simple Unicycle ?

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I hate you.


<3
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by HenryJonesJr
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HenryJonesJr

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Meh I’ll just wait to see if Webby decides to stick with Cap. Soldier would be a “villain” for a while so if I can’t play her like that there’s no reason to do so
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Bounce
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Meh I’ll just wait to see if Webby decides to stick with Cap. Soldier would be a “villain” for a while so if I can’t play her like that there’s no reason to do so


As an alternative, you could always pick up with her Walking the Line or such, and use flashbacks or the present narrative to detail her past as a villain.

That's pretty much what I've done with Toyboy.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

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I'm going to go ahead and approve both of these primary swaps.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Roman
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Roman Grumpy Toad, King of Dirt

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I just wanna say 301 IC posts is fucking crazy and is the longest IC of any game I have ever participated in.

I am never going to get through reading all of this shit.

Congrats guys. Big hype for Season 2.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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I am never going to get through reading all of this shit.


Psh, you better. I was promised a review.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Byrd Man
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Decided I'd make Thursday noir day going forward.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by HenryJonesJr
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Okay...after some reworking of my concept...here's the start of something

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Admiral Moskau
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Decided I'd make Thursday noir day going forward.


Finally, good news.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Roman
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@Hillan, as promised.

-A few minor grammatical errors, mostly around the use of apostrophes, and the sentences can feel a little awkward and stilted at times. Watch your repetition and your syntax; break up your dialogue with a new line for each speaker. The storytelling is sound but there is an occasional stumble that pulls the reader out of it. Of course, this may very well be due to english not being your native language.

-Eobard’s characterization is exceptional. I especially enjoy how well you portray a man who knows the future yet plays along with the story. It’s an interesting meta-narrative of sorts, and it’s entertaining. It isn’t often the audience shares their dramatic irony with the characters in the story.

-Post 4/5, ‘Blur’, look up Vantablack. Thank me later. The villain is interesting. I don’t have much knowledge about Flash’s rogues beyond the obvious and what the show utilized, so it’s fun having you present someone/something I have zero preconceptions about as your first antagonist.

-While I enjoy the use of the wider rogues and their ability to surprise Thawne - Thawne’s hubris, by the way, is riveting to read and thoroughly enjoyable - the pacing feels too fast, even for a Flash story. We go from Thawne defeating his first rogue, which was an anomaly in itself that’s never really addressed, to being accosted by arguably Flash’s 4 biggest rogues in one night and offing one of them in the process. It feels off putting somewhat.

-Thawne’s motivation pivot from ‘I’m better than Barry’ to ‘I love Nora’ is the start of a beautiful redemption story and maybe the first time we can feel sympathy for this man who is otherwise violent, arrogant, sociopathic, and fuelled by hatred. It’s a lovely turning point in Thawne’s development, and it’s such a shame that there were zero hints or nods or vague foreshadowing or brief exploration of the depth of Thawne’s character before this entrapment. It’s clear there’s an internal battle between the man who survived on hatred and the man who wanted to love, and I really, really want to see more of it.

-All in all it’s an entertaining story that sometimes can be difficult to read with a few out-of-the-blue character turns. Fun, but missing finesse. Feels like perhaps you’re flying by the seat of your pants a tad? If you haven’t already, try a skeleton for your plot direction and use that as a reference tool.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

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@Hillan, as promised.

-A few minor grammatical errors, mostly around the use of apostrophes, and the sentences can feel a little awkward and stilted at times. Watch your repetition and your syntax; break up your dialogue with a new line for each speaker. The storytelling is sound but there is an occasional stumble that pulls the reader out of it. Of course, this may very well be due to english not being your native language.

-Eobard’s characterization is exceptional. I especially enjoy how well you portray a man who knows the future yet plays along with the story. It’s an interesting meta-narrative of sorts, and it’s entertaining. It isn’t often the audience shares their dramatic irony with the characters in the story.

-Post 4/5, ‘Blur’, look up Vantablack. Thank me later. The villain is interesting. I don’t have much knowledge about Flash’s rogues beyond the obvious and what the show utilized, so it’s fun having you present someone/something I have zero preconceptions about as your first antagonist.

-While I enjoy the use of the wider rogues and their ability to surprise Thawne - Thawne’s hubris, by the way, is riveting to read and thoroughly enjoyable - the pacing feels too fast, even for a Flash story. We go from Thawne defeating his first rogue, which was an anomaly in itself that’s never really addressed, to being accosted by arguably Flash’s 4 biggest rogues in one night and offing one of them in the process. It feels off putting somewhat.

-Thawne’s motivation pivot from ‘I’m better than Barry’ to ‘I love Nora’ is the start of a beautiful redemption story and maybe the first time we can feel sympathy for this man who is otherwise violent, arrogant, sociopathic, and fuelled by hatred. It’s a lovely turning point in Thawne’s development, and it’s such a shame that there were zero hints or nods or vague foreshadowing or brief exploration of the depth of Thawne’s character before this entrapment. It’s clear there’s an internal battle between the man who survived on hatred and the man who wanted to love, and I really, really want to see more of it.

-All in all it’s an entertaining story that sometimes can be difficult to read with a few out-of-the-blue character turns. Fun, but missing finesse. Feels like perhaps you’re flying by the seat of your pants a tad? If you haven’t already, try a skeleton for your plot direction and use that as a reference tool.


Thanks buddy. I do agree with all of the critique. Some of the pieces aren't putting themselves together properly. Though, I changed from Thawne seemingly struggling with handling Shade, to him dealing with the brunt of the Rogues with great ease on purpose. He knows the Rogue's playbooks inside and out. He's fought them, he's used them, he's lead them and he's killed them all time and time before. But, I guess I've not been quite able to hit the mark in that regard.

I do know about Vantablack. Good times, really cool stuff. I was gonna go into a deeper explanation about Shade's powers from Cisco and Doctor Wells, but I felt that was coming off far too CW-y for my taste. The entire point of Thawne being Flash is that he does not need 'quarterbacking'. He's already (Or at least thinks) he's smarter than everyone else. Which, of course, is gonna end up biting him in his ass. Though, there'll be more opportunity for explanation of Shade's powers in the future.

As for foreshadowing his relationship with Nora, I've thrown in some lines in earlier posts that hints at it, but they're pretty vague and might not make a lot of direct sense.

I think the pacing issues are largely due to the fact that the majority of my posts are written at 4 AM when I have class at 8.
Thanks for the feedback buddy, always appreciated.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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This post was not my best, I admit. I needed to transition from the group as individual strangers to the start of a cohesive group, align their goals, and also get several important bits of information out for them to all know. This definitely was not the smoothest example of such a transition. I knew it was going to be fairly dialogue heavy, so I also didn't want to go heavy into exposition as I normally do because I felt it would stretch on for too long. Which, while not necessarily a bad thing, I don't think was what this post needed, either.

Anyway. Just saying, I know the quality wasn't entirely up to snuff. Hopefully, the overall substance of the plot and arc makes up for it.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by HenryJonesJr
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I can haz approval?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Enarr
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Enarr

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@HenryJonesJr I know it literally has no value most of the time, but you have my approval.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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I can haz approval?


Just waiting for Gowi to weigh in on the GM Chat.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Star Lord and @HenryJonesJr, Punisher and Booster have been approved for Season 2
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