Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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Since the Dark Side seems to need a little boost and the initial Dev build doesn't seem to be needed for those boys, here's Dev Version 2: Electric Boogaloo.



I like this character a lot, and I do get a good enough idea of him overall. That said, before you are accepted and can post your CS - I would like just a tiny little bit more in his backstory about his time so far as a Sith Warrior - it looks very overnight change in the sheet at the moment, whereas there would definitely be more of a journey. I would also ask that he doesn't have a Dual-Phase saber right now as from what I know they're quite rare or at least hard to create. If you're going to have one, then I just ask for more description and more about the journey he had to take to get that Sith lightsaber! It just needs some more detail to round it out more and I would love to have the character - I can see that you're a great writer and I thank you for wipping this one up to try and balance the playing field.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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Well, my sheet is finally done! Sorry if the personality and appearance section bits are, well, a bit subpar, I've always struggled with writing those but hopefully they aren't too bad.



Yes.

YES.

Your ridiculous wookiepedia knowledge of SW is so apparent in this sheet, and it's clear as kyber crystals that this is like a Horcrux of sorts. Your heart and soul went into this one Morty! I love it, and I appreciate that you asked me a few things to ensure you didn't go to far with it, but honestly you could have gone further! I really like it, and I'm so glad you applied. You do love a grim backstory though don't you? You write these really twisted characters I love it. You write the story of that fall so well, oooph. He is really creepy and I have just the role for him, and for you.

Seeing as he is the oldest of our Sithy characters, and seeing as how you have assisted me so much so far, I would love if you would come on board as a Co-GM of sorts to help me manage the DARK SIDE arc of this story? Only if you want to, and I promise it won't really be a great deal of responsibility in terms of the WHOLE RP? What dya say? :)
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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Hello hello hello!

First of all, the sheet is a great start - but it is by your own admission too, a little unfinished. That said, I do love the concept and from what I can see you appear Star Wars mad! I'm happy to accept this character with a rework of the sheet, with the help of Head of the Darkness @Mortarion and @Rtron and myself. (I just say Rtron because it looks like you are working on it together?). The lore is sound, but I think we can improve the character overall, e.g what happened here? "Once she had more than a little hubris, but it burned her thoroughly, making her more cautious afterwards."

Let's make her a real nightmare for this RP! Mwahahaha!
Hidden 6 yrs ago 1 yr ago Post by Luminous Beings
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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@Cyrania & @Bane

Firstly, Bane!

Thank you so much for getting a sheet in! I know it can be really daunting to do it when you're a newbie. And your sheet is great, just lacking for the Advanced Section of RPG, and I have found that aspects of your character are found in other characters that I have accepted. The personality section was very short and didn't tell me much of him now - how he got like that, how he interacts, if he has any other quirks. I liked the intention behind the story of his fall from a Jedi - and how it was based on his love for another Jedi, but it was very similar to a mish-mash of Anakin's story - his love for Padme and the death of his mother. There's not a lot in the sheet about his journey to being a Sith, other than it seemed to happen after the tragedy. I would have loved to see more. What I did love was that you created a bit of a strange character who went from someone with a lot of potential, to having no eyes and his future taken - just the absolute difference was great. It would have been more powerful with a little extra oomph in that backstory and a few tweaks here and there.

I'd love for you to go back and work on your sheet more for when applications re-open. Maybe make some tweaks in the story - ask me for any help, suggestions, advice - I'm sure any of us here would assist in beefing up that CS! For now though, I'm really sorry to say that you didn't make it this time. Keep at it though, I believe in you!

@Cyrania,

Much like Bane's sheet, yours is just missing a bit of padding around it. There's some interesting work in there, but a few contradictions also. He's a flirt with the ladies, but has few friends and isn't social? He's an Imperial Agent but tired of the Sith and the Empire. This character is a bit of an enigma and there's not enough detail to really weave it together enough. I think removing some of this and just expanding on one, two, or three things would really benefit this sheet greatly. One thing that I really did love was his love of puzzles! I don't know why, but it's what has stood out to me most from the sheet. I love characters with quirks and yeah, that really fits! I can imagine an Operative style character in the RP annoying the crap out of our Sith with puzzles and riddles hahahaha. As with my offer to Bane, I'm sure many of us here would love to give you feedback and help you nail that sheet. I think the concept is solid but maybe more time and tweaks are needed before Evrain will join the Legacy story line. So I'm sorry, that for now it's a no - but please continue to work with us and when the openings come up you will be first to be pinged should you still be interested! Thanks again for making the sheet! :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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So, that's a wrizzaaaappp!

Well done to those who are now part of the RP, and thank you to those who applied but didn't make it. You're still frickin' awesome and you'll be back! THIS IS NOT THE END!

So what's next?!

Well pals, I have a set of secrets to mail out to you (which I'm not doing right now because it's 9:30 and I spent all night on those reviews ;_;) They will go out tomorrow! SO watch out! As I have said, it is entirely up to you whether you reveal your secret to everyone and whether you do so in character.

There will be more fun nuggets like that along the way.

As for me, I have my own sheets to polish off, and get my REAL first post done. I will post some information tomorrow about where the first setting will be, and you are free to post your 'introduction' once that info has been dropped!

G'night all, and May the Force be with Ya!
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Yup, @Stormflyx. We were just barely asleep when you announced the 12 hour alert. Thus we had to rush the first draft.

Rtron is one of our former players in our own now-ended grand scale SW rp. He is excellent at Trandoshans.
Technically, inkarnate is also a former player of ours, but that's from iteration #2 rather than the latest (#3).

We'll flesh it all out properly and hopefully tie it in well with other players as we speak with them about possible connections.

We'll work out the lightsaber stuff tomorrow with our old coGM, as that's his specialty, not ours.

We'll be putting our old SW guides to use for the second draft. we needed to get the character essence in place first.

Warning: you may end up getting a very detailed sheet once that happens.
For our last rp the bio segment covering about a month ended up as a 68-page collab (with coGM), and it did not even cover the last fourteen days.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by webboysurf
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Since the Dark Side seems to need a little boost and the initial Dev build doesn't seem to be needed for those boys, here's Dev Version 2: Electric Boogaloo.



@Stormflyx
Updated the CS to flesh the character out more. I agree the character felt rushed before, but I tried to ground him a little more and flesh out his backstory a little more. I am sticking by the Dual Phase because of the significance it possesses to that fleshed out backstory, but if it is too big of an issue it can be removed as needed. Wanted something to make him stand out and give a slight asterisk to Dev's kill of his master.

EDIT: Went back to look at the other Sith sheets, and for some reason all of us chose to be somewhat decent pilots. So I decided to minimize that skill and added cooking and jerry-rigging as weird skills to help balance things out and flesh out Dev as more than a guy who cuts things up with a lightsaber.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Bane
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@Cyrania & @Bane

Firstly, Bane!

Thank you so much for getting a sheet in! I know it can be really daunting to do it when you're a newbie. And your sheet is great, just lacking for the Advanced Section of RPG


PM sent. I'd be happy to rework the CS if applications will be reopening sometime in the near(ish) future. I wasn't sure what the norms were as far as detail goes here, but adding to it wouldn't be too difficult. Depending on our PM, the backstory could grow quite a bit (as mentioned, I didn't want to take too many liberties outside of basic canon)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by ReedeThe23rd
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@Stormflyx I've also pushed out some revisions to my sheet as per your suggestions. I've covered the 4 years mentioned in R5's original history, added in a section to tie R5 to the Republic, and reworded the whole thing about Kell's charisma and how R5 is limited in utilizing it. Hopefully it's more up to snuff now.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Cyrania
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@Stormflyx Alright. I'm willing to work with you guys to make Evrain better. Thanks for thinking he has potential with a little polishing.

I guess I was trying too hard to show a character that was not naturally out-going but learned to be so in order to achieve his objectives. The lack of friends was more from him not his colleagues at Imp Int to be his friends partially since they only interact with a fake him and partially since Evrain doesn't want to have a conflict of loyalties when the Empire finally turns on the Chiss.

The hatred of the Empire was because he's more loyal to his people than to the Empire and is only serving the Empire because of the treaty. Then increased because of how the Empire operated. I could figure out a more concise way to state it or simply have him more neautral about the Empire but definitely loyal to his people.

Glad you liked his love of puzzles. I had thrown that in since it fit him and could be a source of pleasure within the job.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Bane
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Jumping ahead a bit, but is there an estimate on when CSs will have another chance of getting approved? I'm not sure whether I should be looking to make changes now or jump into another game. This was the first one that caught my attention, and I don't want to overcommit myself
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mortarion
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<Snipped quote by Mortarion>

Yes.

YES.

Your ridiculous wookiepedia knowledge of SW is so apparent in this sheet, and it's clear as kyber crystals that this is like a Horcrux of sorts. Your heart and soul went into this one Morty! I love it, and I appreciate that you asked me a few things to ensure you didn't go to far with it, but honestly you could have gone further! I really like it, and I'm so glad you applied. You do love a grim backstory though don't you? You write these really twisted characters I love it. You write the story of that fall so well, oooph. He is really creepy and I have just the role for him, and for you.

Seeing as he is the oldest of our Sithy characters, and seeing as how you have assisted me so much so far, I would love if you would come on board as a Co-GM of sorts to help me manage the DARK SIDE arc of this story? Only if you want to, and I promise it won't really be a great deal of responsibility in terms of the WHOLE RP? What dya say? :)


Hahaha, glad that you enjoyed Drakran's sheet Storm! And what can I say except: guilty as charged :P I do love myself some grim backstories hahaha. As for your offer of being a Co-GM of sorts, it'd be my pleasure to help you manage the Dark Side arc of this story! So I say yes to that offer of yours!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Rtron
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Flipping hell. Talk about making a nasty character really damn believable and great to read. Great sheet dude, and I'm so glad to read such a great 'Dark Side' sheet after all of those sissy Goody sheets... I kid, I kid.... ;) There is SOOO much to unpack here. I'm so glad you got this finished in time. I absolutely want your character in this RP. His perspective is fascinating, his motives, his backstory. Just brilliant stuff :) Similarly to some advice I have already given, is don't be afraid to show his other colours - if he has any warmth, any 'good' emotions, to round him out and make him even more fascinating to watch and enjoyable to hate! I'm really excited to see a naughty bounty hunter and I think he'll add an edge to this RP I was hoping we would have. Post up the CS as is! :)


You're so enthusiastic and wholesome about these reviews Stormy, it's great. I really appreciate everything said. I'll see if I can't find a way to show some of his nicer qualities during the RP, and am excited for this RP to get going!

Rtron is one of our former players in our own now-ended grand scale SW rp. He is excellent at Trandoshans.

Warning: you may will end up getting a very detailed sheet once that happens.
For our last rp the bio segment covering about a month ended up as a 68-page collab (with coGM), and it did not even cover the last fourteen days.


Disclaimer: I've only written one Trandoshan before this.

Also fixed your Warning for you. :p.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Bane
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Profile updated. I expanded the personality section and added a few paragraphs into the history. The latter could still be expanded upon, depending on our PMs
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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not yet, @Inkarnate... not yet.

The trick is for Anila to find and hire the right sort of scum to capture Talija and put her in chains as she ought to be.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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You may only have written one Trandoshan before, @Rtron... But you've made him for three iterations of one RP, the first dating back to the time before the guildfall. Going by that, we can say you are quite familiar with trandoshans. Perhaps not as familiar as someone with a dozen different ones, but you've got their bloodthirstiness down, that's for sure.

please ignore the muttering about never actually having killed off Sish.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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new, more proper version of the sheet. roughly 177% of the length of the first draft.


Sorry about the three posts in a row.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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The 'Light Side' secrets have been sent out!

I just need to send out the ones to our Sith Overlords, and discuss with Mortarion our starting point for them.

To keep you all in the loop you as a player will have a choice in whether your character follows Evamadi's distress signal to the site, or meets/bumps into Master Quanades at a generic cantina and is brought into the adventure that way.

Flesh out your secret as much or as little as you would like, and remember you don't have to share it with other players or even in game if you don't want to!

Hopefully the secret that has been given to you, will help you make a choice on how your character will start their story within the roleplay, please feel free to discuss with each other and perhaps arrive together/with an established relationship too!

THANK YOU AND GOOD LUCK!

Starting points:

1. The Ranosca Cantina on Eriadu;
2. Airspace around Hoth/in the Hoth System (please not on the moon itself yet!); or
3. Traversing the Ivex Nebula

Our goodies are free to post! Our baddies will have to wait one more day!
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