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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by IceHeart
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@Lord Wraith Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to pass right now, a lot of other things I really need to do. I wanted to do it but the creative juices just aren't there for me. Other priorities much more important and I'm finding this is just kind of getting in the way at the moment. Best of luck to everyone sticking around!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Lord Wraith Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to pass right now, a lot of other things I really need to do. I wanted to do it but the creative juices just aren't there for me. Other priorities much more important and I'm finding this is just kind of getting in the way at the moment. Best of luck to everyone sticking around!


Thanks for letting us know and the door is always open if you decide you want to return either as Barbara or another character.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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It's been minute since I made a Thawne meme. Here we go.

I call this one "Hillan's First and Second Flash post summarized"
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by HenryJonesJr
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W E E K L Y A N N O U N C E M E N T S:

POST CHECK-IN:

As with last week, I'm doing a weekly check-in on players who have not posted in the past seven days. Again, this is not intended to be punitive, just checking in to keep the lines of communication open. The GMs will be doing this weekly going forward.

@Moskau Spieluhr as Vixen - Last Posted 33 Days Ago, 19 Days Overdue.

@IceHeart as Batgirl - Last Posted 21 Days Ago, 7 Days Overdue

@ComradeMaxx as The X-Men - Last Posted 20 Days Ago, 6 Days Overdue

@ComradeMaxx as Dr. Fate - Last Posted 17 Days Ago, 3 Days Overdue.

@Xandrya as Raven - Last Posted 15 Days Ago, 1 Day Overdue.

@Natty as Magick - Last Posted 10 Days Ago, 4 Days Remaining.

@HenryJonesJr as Thor and the Guardians - Last Posted 8 Days Ago, 6 Days Remaining.

◼ Both @Byrd Man & @Roman are on self-stated hiatus until Season Two starts.


Should have a post up wrapping up my season later in the week
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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Should have a post up wrapping up my season later in the week


Looking forward to it!
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Roman
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Roman Grumpy Toad, King of Dirt

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Two of you may have noticed I'm using this hiatus to catch up with the IC I've missed. I'm also reading characters in blocks from start to the most current post so that I have a better through-line and can keep track. It's like binge-watching a netflix series vs watching the newest episode every week.

Anyway, as I'm doing so I will be taking notes and drawing up summary points and feedback when I reach the end. @Inkarnate and @ComradeMaxx, as you were the first ones to be caught up, I've got your feedback ready if you'd like it. Give me a shout if/where you want it.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Supermaxx
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Supermaxx dumbass

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W E E K L Y A N N O U N C E M E N T S:

POST CHECK-IN:

@ComradeMaxx as The X-Men - Last Posted 20 Days Ago, 6 Days Overdue

@ComradeMaxx as Dr. Fate - Last Posted 17 Days Ago, 3 Days Overdue.


I'm a sinner

Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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I'm a sinner



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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Roman
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@ComradeMaxx

-First of all, I love the dynamic between the team. Every member has their own distinct personality and voice, and they all have their quirks and characteristics, and their interaction in the classroom in your first post beautifully outlined each of them and how they interact with each other, and the different niches they fill in their personal social circle. They really feel like five different characters who naturally squabble with each other while keeping that underlying loyalty and affection in the way only real family can.

-That said I wish you’d get them back together. Hank, Scott and Bobby’s foray into the school to deal with Lance? Excellent, and also some great combat writing, an area I personally struggle both writing and reading so it’s so nice to see it done well with a natural ebb and flow, showcasing the strengths and failures of each character. Equally, Scott and Jean’s focus posts are equally commendable, with Jean easily becoming my favourite of your squad and her mind-read of Venom/Peter a personal highlight. But where’s Kurt? What are Hank and Bobby doing while Scott and Jean are out? There are large gaps - for Kurt, since the first post - where you just don’t touch on the other characters. This might be intentional, and at times it does feel like you’re playing Scott first and the others are his supporting cast, but after that introduction to everyone it’s such a shame that I’m missing out on them! But perhaps it’s commendable that I feel like I’m missing out on them in the first place!

-My final point is the amount of destruction your team seems to dish out despite Scott’s best efforts. With your set-up of Stryker that may have been the point, but there’s a lot of talking about the collateral damage caused by your characters but there doesn’t seem to be much remorse or attempt at mitigation. It just makes Scott’s fretting about mutant image feel a bit hollow at times.

There you go, bitch!

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Supermaxx
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@ComradeMaxx

But where’s Kurt? What are Hank and Bobby doing while Scott and Jean are out? There are large gaps - for Kurt, since the first post - where you just don’t touch on the other characters. This might be intentional, and at times it does feel like you’re playing Scott first and the others are his supporting cast, but after that introduction to everyone it’s such a shame that I’m missing out on them! But perhaps it’s commendable that I feel like I’m missing out on them in the first place!


First off, I really appreciate the review! I'll be taking some'a what you said into account moving forward from now on, particularly on the matter of collateral damage and how the rest of the team responds to it. I've been meaning to touch on that but I've kind of neglected it in recent posts to focus on other things.

But this particular point, the one quoted above, is actually something I've been mulling over since I drafted up my sheet. I've been struggling with how to designate POVs and which ones I should include in my posts. As it is I've mainly been focusing on Scott, only ever breaking away to give brief villain POVs so we know what they're up to. I did sign on to write the entirety of the X-Men, not just Cyclops, but I was worried I wouldn't be able to tell as focused a story if I broke away more often to check in on the rest of the team whenever they get split up.

I think, moving forward, I may experiment with adding in additional point of view posts from the other X-Men where I feel it'd be relevant to the narrative I want to tell.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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Two of you may have noticed I'm using this hiatus to catch up with the IC I've missed. I'm also reading characters in blocks from start to the most current post so that I have a better through-line and can keep track. It's like binge-watching a netflix series vs watching the newest episode every week.

Anyway, as I'm doing so I will be taking notes and drawing up summary points and feedback when I reach the end. @Inkarnate and @ComradeMaxx, as you were the first ones to be caught up, I've got your feedback ready if you'd like it. Give me a shout if/where you want it.

I'm all for communal stuff. If you want to share I would love to see a different perspective.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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<Snipped quote by Roman>
I'm all for communal stuff. If you want to share I would love to see a different perspective.


I see how it is. You want Roman's review publicly and mine privately.
Clearly, my words will be so special he wants to keep them all for himself.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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mickilennial is trying to survive

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Supermaxx
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<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>

I see how it is. You want Roman's review publicly and mine privately.
Clearly, my words will be so special he wants to keep them all for himself.


Is this true love?
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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Is this true love?

No, it's fantasy.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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I don't think I'm caught in a landslide, though...
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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The only landslide I want is a landslide of posts.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Roman
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<Snipped quote by Roman>
I'm all for communal stuff. If you want to share I would love to see a different perspective.


Here we go:

-I like Kelex and Livewire, and Lex Luthor has been great in his cameos. Kara herself is competently written, but it’s a shame I don’t like her as much as any of your supporting cast. It seems like you have great character direction with the people around Kara, but Kara herself, being young and new to the game and still exploring her powers, doesn’t feel as solid. Then again, it’s clear there’s still a lot of fleshing out and character development planned for Kara, so while she suffers now from a shaky start, I’m confident she’ll end up being an intricate character with a solid foundation, whereas her supporting cast are more one-note and therefore appear stronger in the early period.

-My only real gripe is there’s a lot of telling, and not enough showing. Your writing is serviceable and a pleasure to read, but I often find myself being told a character is frightened, or curious, or amused, etc etc, rather than given tone and body language to express the emotions organically. I understand with dialogue this is a limitation of the format, but it’s food for thought.

-Finally, your clearest strength is your command of narrative continuity and plot threading/hooking. Every post leads off from the last one and into the next one, each issue leaving on a point that launches the reader eagerly into the next one, and there’s a clear through line of what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what’s going to happen next, and it all feels organic rather than stiltedly stumbling from one plot point to the next (see: my DD arc).

Consider yourself fed-back sucka

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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Here we go:

-I like Kelex and Livewire, and Lex Luthor has been great in his cameos. Kara herself is competently written, but it’s a shame I don’t like her as much as any of your supporting cast. It seems like you have great character direction with the people around Kara, but Kara herself, being young and new to the game and still exploring her powers, doesn’t feel as solid. Then again, it’s clear there’s still a lot of fleshing out and character development planned for Kara, so while she suffers now from a shaky start, I’m confident she’ll end up being an intricate character with a solid foundation, whereas her supporting cast are more one-note and therefore appear stronger in the early period.

-My only real gripe is there’s a lot of telling, and not enough showing. Your writing is serviceable and a pleasure to read, but I often find myself being told a character is frightened, or curious, or amused, etc etc, rather than given tone and body language to express the emotions organically. I understand with dialogue this is a limitation of the format, but it’s food for thought.

-Finally, your clearest strength is your command of narrative continuity and plot threading/hooking. Every post leads off from the last one and into the next one, each issue leaving on a point that launches the reader eagerly into the next one, and there’s a clear through line of what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what’s going to happen next, and it all feels organic rather than stiltedly stumbling from one plot point to the next (see: my DD arc).

Consider yourself fed-back sucka


Thanks!

I feel like a lot of Kara’s stilted characterization is that, well, I took a break for longer than I should have. I’ve also messed up on how to really setup Kara’s corner as a byproduct of my touch-and-go approach as opposed to Wraith’s rigid outlining. I’m a role-player by nature, not an editor or professional novelist, so I’ve always approached things as a play-by-post system in these games. While I do still outline important benchmarks/milestones, how I get to them is often a struggle. I’m not sure if I need to adjust my system to where I can work within the confines of it or just focus a lot harder on posting Kara a few times a week to get to those milestones I want. A lot of “Don’t Flinch” was me course-correcting and trying to get to the meat of antagonists and characters within the greater sphere of the Fortress, Krypton, Metropolis, and Midvale. I’m glad my dialogue and characterization of my [limited] supporting cast has gotten favorable responses because I second guess myself a lot.

As for the show-versus-tell, I’m not sure how to address that. Maybe it’s a virtue of my influences as a writer or just my writing philosophy but I don’t see anything wrong with “telling” as long as I contextualize it and don’t make it boring. I am an introspective writer at heart, after all. I will try to get to body language going forward, though that might be easier with some characters than others.

I think my threading is due to how I structure my posts. I look for bellends, benchmarks, or snappy dialogue to smoothly transition things from one post to the next. I’m really glad that it works, because well, I have only a rough idea of what I want to do in an arc. Tying things together on-the-fly in a cohesive fashion is possibly one of my other strengths. The big goal going forward for me is to address my issues and keep going with this course correction. Perhaps do a little more planning. I’d be really interested in hearing how everyone structures their posts and plans their arcs. Some people outline, others not so much. It’s an interesting divide.

I really appreciate this analysis, as its put some interesting things ahead for me to think about and adjust.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Master Bruce
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Saw this and thought of @Lord Wraith



I'm applying in Season Two

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