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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by PandaBrady
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I'm gonna try to get a post up today. It'll likely be short though.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by LightningMaiden
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LightningMaiden

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sorry internet has been down will get a thing up
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Zarkun The Vigilante

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@Stella light@Luna Cloud I understand your intentions may have been pure in your posts, but this RP is not a "join as and where you want" RP. We have over 380 some-odd pages of story and posts that, while not mandatory reading, you should consider. The IC is also not where you post an application, that belongs here, in the OOC. If it's approved, you can move it to the Character Tab. Simply put, we don't appreciate you just coming in and posting what you want.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by PandaBrady
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Finally posted. I know it's short, but that's all I have right now.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

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Finally posted. I know it's short, but that's all I have right now.


Your fine. We don't stress about length here.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lunarlord34
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Lunarlord34 Totally not a vampire

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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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@CitrusArms

OKAY So I maaaaaay have messed up ONE mention

Just ONE mind you.

So you get a special post with just YOUR NAME ON IT

and the babbling of a sleep-deprived lunatic but whatever
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by LightningMaiden
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lol its me geez i feel so loved -.-

1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
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CitrusArms Space Crystals

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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Mentions, I'm good at them.


Payback XD
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
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Genon

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In hindsight, posting in the character tab was not a good idea. Here you go.

Name: Leon D'Encant, The Freezing Blade
Age: 25
Birthday: February 21
Magic:




History:
Leon D'Encant was, of course, born in Encant, a Fiorean town known for its elite marksmen, who had provided deadly troops to the armies of Fiore in centuries past. These "Musketeers," trained in the arts of the rapier, parrying dagger, pistol, and rifle, were known to be men of honor and pride. Cutting dashing figures, they were respected warriors, using their Requip techniques to great effect against the enemies of the Royal Household. As they were loyal to the Royal Family for centuries, when Zeref resurfaced and Wizards became stigmatized, the Musketeers were a notable exception, allowed to continue their work and even being put to use hunting down unauthorized Wizards.

A young Leon, wide-eyed and naive, sought to join Legion's Gate, the great Requip school where the best Musketeers were trained. At the age of eighteen, he was accepted and began his training in the Musketeer's arts. Two years later, he graduated. However, in time he had grown disillusioned with Musketeer society in general. He had been lured in with tales of crack shots shooting Dark Wizards between the eyes from half a mile away, of dashing rogues dueling S-Class threats by themselves with a smile on their face, all while never allowing an innocent to come to harm or, worse, betray their personal code of honor.

Instead he found a once-great force of warriors in sharp decline. Old mottos were forgotten in the name of excess. The Musketeers had grown lazy and corrupt after over a century of being the most privileged wizards around. Though they were capable Wizards, they rarely fought, instead preferring to use their large degree of autonomy to skim money meant for other corps and divert it to themselves, living large while other branches starved, fought, and bled. Leon was disgusted enough by this that, having never gotten to participate in a single action, he handed in his resignation and left as soon as he got the opportunity.

If the Musketeers would not do anything useful with their lives, then Leon D'Encant would. He took up bounty hunting, and, after a rough start, proved quite good at it. But, years into his bounty hunting career, he made a rookie mistake. Picking off too many members of the Lifetakers, a notorious criminal organization, got their undivided attention. Not only was he a marked man, but the Lifetakers had ties to Gorgon Head, a full-fledged, if minor Dark Guild. This was far, far too much heat for even an experienced loner like Leon to survive for long, and he knew it. So he went to the biggest Light Guild in Fiore, Phoenix Wing, and signed up. Of course, you don't just sign up for a Light Guild just for protection. You've got to earn your keep and make a commitment to the guild ethos, and Leon is trying to do that. Besides, doing something other than tracking down and capturing/killing the worst criminals imaginable is a nice change of pace.

Personality: Leon is, on duty, a professional and a stoic, to the point where he might be a stick in the mud. However, while he may groan at the antics of his fellow guild members, he's nonetheless a good-natured person at the Guild Hall. Just...give him some time to loosen up first.
Guild and guild mark location: Phoenix Wing, abdomen

Three Strengths:
1. Consummate Professional: Through years of hunting the scum of the earth, Leon has become an experienced veteran of the bounty hunting world, and has the demeanor to back it up. He is serious, to the point, and dedicated to his craft. It takes a lot to shake him.
2. Self-Reliant: Being part of a guild is a team effort, but Leon has spent years as a lone wolf. He's needed to tend to his own wounds, maintain his own camps, hunt his own game, and track his own targets. This means that, if separated from his team for whatever reason, he's no worse for it.
3. Elite Combat Skill: Leon may not be the greatest wizard ever in terms of raw power, but he is skilled. He was trained to an elite level by one of the finest magic schools in Fiore, and his training was intended to help him serve as one of the Royal Family's crack troops. Against a superior opponent, he will often leverage his superb fencing abilities to allow him to hold his own even when spectacularly outgunned.

Three Weaknesses:
1. Marked: Leon has not just an entire criminal syndicate, but also their Gorgon Head buddies hunting him down. It's only a matter of time before his past catches up to him, and when it does, things will get nasty.
2. Finesse-based Fighter: Leon is not overly strong or durable by Wizard standards. He's more durable than most, due to his A-class power, but he is reliant on finesse and reflexes rather than brute force to defeat an opponent. This makes him significantly more fragile and easier to mission-kill than peer fighters should an opponent manage to hit him.
3. Fish Out of Water: Leon has spent years living alone, traveling from town to town, hunting down and killing complete strangers to put food on the table. This naturally means that the freewheeling nature of guild life is a challenge for him to adapt to.
Greatest Love: The thrill of the chase.
Motivation: To get the Lifetakers and Gorgon Head off his back.
Appearance:

Additional Details:

Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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@PandaBrady

Doc in question

I have looked over your sheets and here are my thoughts:

Not a fan of Alexander. His father researching ways to make magic more accessible, backed by the council, just doesn't jive with the past/current attitude toward magic.

There is also the issue with the sword, but that was already vetoed and addressed. That aside, I'm not sure if operating on his 11-year-old son and then handing him a sword of all things is even in the realm of rationality,Then...the quality of the rest is questionable. If the lab had been attacked while he was unconscious, why was he not killed/kidnapped/ect? Then dying words, a random ambush and somehow the 11-year old just stabs him and...then absorbs the fire from the lab? (which is by the point, probably natural) and sets off on his vengeance quest? eh...

I understand what you were aiming for with Alvina but, judging from her backstory, I'm not convinced you can write her well enough. Veto'ed unless Zarkun or Marsh say otherwise.

Tristen is great. I like his goal and theme. I like how his goal is clear and his magic is equally versatile, strong, and potentially humorous.

Devin's overall magic is fine, but I not so sure about parts of Snatch, Poltergeist, Gespent, and Necromancy. You've bundled mind-control, possession, mind-reading, Necromancy, and whatever Gespent is, in a magic that is seemingly unrelated and strong enough on it's own. I realize this ties into his backstory but I'm sorry to say that the potential for abuse is too great. Although, I do like his story, ironically I think it would make more sense if he was younger. 16 when he started then 22 when he was caught is odd.

Nina is troublesome. I like the thought behind her, but much like the others, execution needs work.

How about, as a weakness, she has to *keep* reading (even if it's the same lines over and over) to make whatever it is last unless used with Permanence. If she stops or interrupted, it vanishes.

Backstory, common villager's reaction at this point in time to magic is fear and hate. Although depending how real that was...

uh

I'm not sure what happened after that. I cannot make heads or tails of the rest of the story. I can say that telling someone you just overwrote her memories and that you have the ability to do so is a terrible idea if you are trying to gain trust.

Overall, I liked the common themes seen and the pieces present in everyone's story, but your writing quality doesn't quite yet live up to the scope you are attempting. Bravo for going big, but perhaps you might want to try to start smaller and a little less ambitious?

Anyway, this is just my opinion. I'm only a volunteer evaluator, @MarshiestMallow and @Zarkun are the ones who have the final say in things.

This is here because Discord has a character limit. Smh. I'll ping you there too.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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@Genon

...and after all that I have nothing to say.

You sheet is solid and Leon is interesting and compelling with great room for development.

Good job.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
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@Lunarlord34 I can't remember if I ever responded to you about Syleste, but she's fine with me.

@PandaBrady Give me some time, gotta look over the document, just doing this to let you know that I am not ignoring you.

@Genon seems fine to be, wait for @Zarkun or @Expolar (If the latter is around, of course)
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
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@Crimson Raven@PandaBrady@Zarkun

Actually.... given the fact that it has been twenty years since magic has started to come back and the council before the current council was corrupt.... it does fit. It would certainly be something my evil kalinda (I have a good version of her too) would do. So... I think its okay.

But yes, I do agree with the rest of that for Alexander

As for Alvina, I'm willing to give anyoen a go, to improve their writing and test themselves. I know I myself have come forward in leaps in bounds by pushing myself, I can certainly do evil and.... I was trying to thin of a way to write this without swearing, but dickheads/assholes well now, particularly in the last eight months or so of developing my skills there. So, I'm content with Alvina.

Tristen is fine.

I might have to com eback to Devin, as well as Nina.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by PandaBrady
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@MarshiestMallow thanks for getting back with me about these characters. If need be, I can remove Nina and Devin from my story and try to throw them in later. Of not at all, depending on how you feel.

Edited the characters.
docs.google.com/document/d/1R0dlICOfQ…
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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whistles the Kill Bill theme
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by PandaBrady
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PandaBrady

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Anyone else have the Discord Server go down on them?
Edit: Nevermind, it's back

Also, can I get some interaction soon?
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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Fifty-four thousand three hundred OOC posts

five-four-three.

In 21 more posts, we could have five-four-three-two-one

in 488010 more posts, we could have 5-4-3-2-1-0

My OCD is pleased
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