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15 days ago
Current they should let me into the presidential debates as like a stage hazard. i should be like the negligent drivers in onett, plowing into whichever seniors don't heed the warning that i'm coming
4 likes
2 mos ago
frantically flipping through my notebook as i realize i'm late for my monthly bit. bomb. bomb. caesium capsule meets stomach lining. bomb. murder confession. bomb. need new material before they bomb m
1 like
3 mos ago
Never stop creating. Never stop improving. Live life fully, honestly, and the mystical adventure never ends. Thank you, Sensei. I think I'll train tomorrow.
9 likes
5 mos ago
My dreams are getting weird. They usually involve sterile lighting and a bunch of guys in labcoats discussing sedative dosages around me and getting really scared when i try to go to the bathroom lol
1 like
6 mos ago
i consume enough energy drink i changed my zodiac sign, i'm more taurine than any motherfucker born in April and i killed eleven people in that applebees two miles down the road
5 likes

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Most Recent Posts

Speaking of "welp fuck", I just realized @ghastlyinc hadn't gotten a chance to post before I'd gone again. Sorry, it completely slipped my mind. I'll edit if need be.
I think I've got positions right, but I forgot to tag @TheFake. Sorry!
Yeah, he's en route to grabbing the quest from the board (and assumedly about to run into some Mayonites)
Gerard Segremors



Sir Indrau would be proud to note that Segremors, more than anything, had proven himself a keen listener.

His head whipped to the source of the blur that flashed across his field of view, narrowly missing the Princess's skull thanks to their forewarned Captain, and her reflexes. There, as if she had melted out of the shadows between men, stood the small figure of a hooded Nem Assassin. In her hands was a crossbow, sized for her kind and in the midst of racking another bolt—

Now was no time for talk.

He existed now within the indes. The interval. The time between actions, where reaction was king. The attack had been made. There was an infinitesimal window for reprisal. Not to be wasted on speech, not to be wasted on anything but decision. Something the knight had grown very, very accustomed to, beaten deep into the the framework of his mind.

Reclaim Vor.

You're mine.


And the space between the Princess, the Captain, and the Nem was filled by a hurtling wall of leather, steel, and furnace-eyed fury. As soon as his reactions allowed, he had broken off into a dead sprint, bearing down upon the would-be Assassin as though nothing else in the world mattered. His mission was clear. No orders were necessary— the threat had shown itself. That tiny crossbow would be lethal to those unarmored, but it wasn't going to have a chance in hell of getting through him.

Even if it penetrated his armor, that didn't matter. He'd get to them before he felt it. His blood was well and truly coursing now— They had courted themselves a fight. The world even seemed to slow just as much as it hastened— there wasn't much distance at all he had to cover, but he still saw the very many things that happened in sequence. A blink of an eye felt simultaneously like the world had slowed. The rush of fire through his body, so familiar, had returned in full.

The Nem was professional enough to waste no time in reloading and adjusting her aim, and as he broke away from their group, she had already gotten a bead on the now-downed Princess— and fired. He couldn't see the bolt flying downrange, too focused on the shooter herself, but knew he had a good chance of being in the way of it. He wouldn't let it tear his burning gaze away from his target.

Before he could brace for the thunk against his frame, be it upon armor or digging dully into his flesh, another interposed herself between the missile and the group. By extension, Gerard as well. Tyaethe, currently child-sized, took the shot. She was a vampire. She seemed as unbothered as he would expect.

"If anyone tries something lethal, I'm knocking them out."

Unbothered enough to change mission. He couldn't completely eliminate the threat anymore. Capture, then.

In the next fraction of a second, as he darted past the Paladin, a burgundy lance burst forth from behind, cresting the diminutive albino's shoulder and terminating right at the crossbow in her hands. Gerard was close enough now to watch the string, before it could rack a third bolt, fall limply, uselessly, to the sides of the pistol stock. Those limbs wouldn't draw back again. No more projectiles to even think about. He knew not whose magic it was, nor the type exactly, but somebody had just taken the weapon out of the picture.

Good. He could roughhouse without worry now. Nothing flying in confusion. No need to wrestle away a weapon. Nearly there.

He dove for the Nem with one powerful leap, all the athleticism that had carried him over that short distance in the span of seconds now sending over two hundred pounds of flesh and metal directly into the frame of the Assassin. He'd get a hold of her. Drive his knee, all weight behind it, into the small of her back. Twist an arm up and behind for good measure. Hold his knife to her throat—

Nonlethal. Too risky. Struggling could mean unintended cut.

He'd immobilize her head. Maybe grind into the floor to interrogate. Really get a whiff of the posh carpet.

At nearly double her height and reach, coming in with all the speed and force he could muster, he was certain he could get ahold of this one. She had so much to react to, so little distance between them— all it would be was a matter of grappling. He had advantages in spades there. Length. Strength. Maybe experience. Definitely meanness.

Unless orders came into the contrary, he intended to leverage them all until the incoming interrogation ended.
@Raineh Daze

Is Tyaethe near the group or the assassin?
ah, alright. really spooked me there, sorry
This assassin is about to have the worst day

EDIT: wait, hold on, Gerard at least told her what had him tense, it was the whole point of that post. Was that in reference to not having specifics?
Nah, these church types have the best chance of sniffing out anything weird about the place. I'll let em come along.


He held the pouch high above his head, framing his free hand against Cassia's brow in an impenetrable stiffarm until she stopped her usual routine of swiping at the food in front of her. That arm had spent sixteen years as a rock upon which his bow was mounted— it held steady in the face of any attack, just as his nerve.

gib, she said with her golden eyes beneath either side of his palm.

"Not happening." came the stern, level rebuke. She'd tear through half of it in a second, Sieglinde's reassurances or no. One of these days, he'd be able to beat the concept of rationing into her skull, but it probably wasn't today.

As he did so, and as her attempts grew feebler and feebler, the hood slowly canvassed the room, starting at the grumbling half-elf and, eventually, working its way to the job board.

Works. If he can handle his own food, that's less I'm covering for with this tornado in the mix. I just hope she doesn't trick him into "sharing".

For all the massive chip on his shoulder, the manlet had a point once he'd continued— an enterprising Nem had already swiped the Orc slaying posting during their deliberation, and was in the midst of declaring his party. They'd really gotten bogged down with either enabling eachother or making a go at rations before the portions had even been set— the fun truly never ended with these problem children. To add to it, between the lack of information regarding Haesting and its increasing popularity...

Yeah, the thought of bonuses was getting more alluring. A flat rate split amongst multiple groups was edging outside of opportunity cost thresholds that he had hardlined when starting adventuring. It was to go the way of the merchant caravan. In the bin! Into the bin with it, get 'em outta here!

"Mm." he vocalised simply, retrieving his arm from Cass's face and lowering the bag of jerky. "Runt's right: at this rate, it's any port in a storm. We'll grab it and make it work."

He walked forward with calm, swift strides, intent on not being overshot again.

So long as his darks were ready to go, shadows would be just fine. Additionally so if this Monastery was constructed with those nice high columns and archways...

Rafters would be a treat.
We've had magic-based characters before, yeah.
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