Not addressing these completely in order, as some are easier to handle than others. Any verdicts rendered are also pending discussion with my Co-GM, in the event that he sees something I do not, but they're probably about 80% final.
@Caasicam has already talked to me, so barring any changes, you're good to go.
Looks good! Nothing I need you to change, just a couple of things to bear in mind. As, presumably, a civilian contractor for the Federation a bunch of what he touches will be buried under a mountain of nondisclosure agreements. And at fifty five, he's pushing the upper end of who you might see on a battlefield even with humanity's longer lifespan.
I like the MedMech. Just bear in mind that at that size its two reactors, while more then sufficient for it, are probably significantly smaller than what's in use on a Walker. As he developed it himself, it bears more similarity to civilian-use machines than Walkers. Which also means there aren't any issues with how it fits in the dev timeline, so you should be good to go.
A WIP, I know, but I don't have any issues so far.
No issues with the Hound, and just a couple of things with Liam. Bear in mind that the Federation has been at peace for nearly a hundred years. Small skirmishes with nations that refuse to join, of which there are a few, but nothing large scale. Anything undertaken while he was a mercenary would mostly be in those sorts of areas, and almost certainly of the extremely illegal variety.
Unless he went to college, he'd be enlisted or an NCO. Yuna's a good example, or depending upon duration of service he may have made it up to NCO as a Warrant Officer.
Tweak that a little bit, remember to bear in mind the political climate for his history, and you should be good to go.
Looks good, my man. Only thing to tell you is a reminder that as infantry, he would've mostly handled some skirmishes if he was assigned to a more contentious area. As a Walker pilot, there haven't been any Walker-to-Walker combat scenarios yet. For real. Plenty of sims and practice skirmishes, just nothing that has seen real world application yet.
Looks fine. Same reminder as everyone else, Walker-to-Walker hasn't happened for real just yet.
I tried to be soft-touch with this, and if that resulted in a lack of clarity that's on me. But to be perfectly honest, it feels as though you had a character concept in mind that you tried to tweak for the setting without necessarily checking the details of the setting. Taking it from the top, at sixty Eun would be far from the front lines. Even with the increased life expectancy, someone at sixty just isn't keeping up with the rigors necessary for piloting. She would have hit either a desk job or mandatory retirement by now. Mandatory retirement age in the modern USAF is 62, and no one at that age would still be piloting a fighter jet. And that's a pretty solid comparison for the physical requirements of piloting a Walker. On the same point or order, managing to appear twenty at sixty is... A bit much. Health care will no doubt have advanced, but I'm not quite sure it's something that would have gone that far.
Personality and skills are both fields a little lighter on details than I'd really like them to be, but that's a small matter. The real meat of the issue comes when we start to get into History. In the simplest terms possible, you're treating criminal organizations like paramilitary forces. Smugglers exist, yes. Criminal organizations, as well. Both of these are innately human, and aren't likely to go anywhere. But that doesn't make them military powers. Criminal organizations in developed areas project their influence through soft power; remaining in the shadows, using influence to help remain hidden. Information, not firepower. They would never be allowed to get to the point where a single organization needed to be on the military's radar, and not the police's. Not when keeping the peace has been the primary focus for decades. A gathering of ships along those lines would be exceptionally conspicuous. Nor would the Federation have any reason to require another criminal organization's help to crack down on a separate one.
Nor, unfortunately, would they need a mercenary organization for cracking down on criminal organizations. Again, this is where I think you overestimate the extent of criminality in the setting. Such PMCs especially would not be used in the place of regular Federation forces, nor is it standard anywhere for such an entity to operate autonomously from the chain of command.
And this is where the last major issue comes into play; Federation Walker frames are not accessible to entities outside of the Federation military. The Ark Union farmed out development, but even so they're not letting private organizations just have military grade Walkers. At the very least not legally, and such things would be cracked down on hard if they were known. The Raptor, especially, is very new; there are no variants, let alone anything developed anywhere but Federation R&D. The Raptor Program is only just starting to actually roll out full production models, and was completing field testing of the unit up until recently. A private entity never would have laid hands on the technology.
I don't have any suggestions on how to tweak to fit the setting, yet. I've been giving it some thought, and will continue to give it some thought.
@Caasicam has already talked to me, so barring any changes, you're good to go.
So this is my draft (and possibly final) sheet. I've taken a custom mech, so hopefully I've filled out that section to the GMs satisfaction.
If there's anything that's unclear, don't hesitate to let me know (really). I wrote the majority of this at about 3:00 am, and finished it at 1:40 am the next day, so it's absolutely going to have some things wrong.
Yeah, I know the RP official thread isn't up, but I just wanted to put this to the community as well
Looks good! Nothing I need you to change, just a couple of things to bear in mind. As, presumably, a civilian contractor for the Federation a bunch of what he touches will be buried under a mountain of nondisclosure agreements. And at fifty five, he's pushing the upper end of who you might see on a battlefield even with humanity's longer lifespan.
I like the MedMech. Just bear in mind that at that size its two reactors, while more then sufficient for it, are probably significantly smaller than what's in use on a Walker. As he developed it himself, it bears more similarity to civilian-use machines than Walkers. Which also means there aren't any issues with how it fits in the dev timeline, so you should be good to go.
A WIP, I know, but I don't have any issues so far.
No issues with the Hound, and just a couple of things with Liam. Bear in mind that the Federation has been at peace for nearly a hundred years. Small skirmishes with nations that refuse to join, of which there are a few, but nothing large scale. Anything undertaken while he was a mercenary would mostly be in those sorts of areas, and almost certainly of the extremely illegal variety.
Unless he went to college, he'd be enlisted or an NCO. Yuna's a good example, or depending upon duration of service he may have made it up to NCO as a Warrant Officer.
Tweak that a little bit, remember to bear in mind the political climate for his history, and you should be good to go.
Looks good, my man. Only thing to tell you is a reminder that as infantry, he would've mostly handled some skirmishes if he was assigned to a more contentious area. As a Walker pilot, there haven't been any Walker-to-Walker combat scenarios yet. For real. Plenty of sims and practice skirmishes, just nothing that has seen real world application yet.
Looks fine. Same reminder as everyone else, Walker-to-Walker hasn't happened for real just yet.
I tried to be soft-touch with this, and if that resulted in a lack of clarity that's on me. But to be perfectly honest, it feels as though you had a character concept in mind that you tried to tweak for the setting without necessarily checking the details of the setting. Taking it from the top, at sixty Eun would be far from the front lines. Even with the increased life expectancy, someone at sixty just isn't keeping up with the rigors necessary for piloting. She would have hit either a desk job or mandatory retirement by now. Mandatory retirement age in the modern USAF is 62, and no one at that age would still be piloting a fighter jet. And that's a pretty solid comparison for the physical requirements of piloting a Walker. On the same point or order, managing to appear twenty at sixty is... A bit much. Health care will no doubt have advanced, but I'm not quite sure it's something that would have gone that far.
Personality and skills are both fields a little lighter on details than I'd really like them to be, but that's a small matter. The real meat of the issue comes when we start to get into History. In the simplest terms possible, you're treating criminal organizations like paramilitary forces. Smugglers exist, yes. Criminal organizations, as well. Both of these are innately human, and aren't likely to go anywhere. But that doesn't make them military powers. Criminal organizations in developed areas project their influence through soft power; remaining in the shadows, using influence to help remain hidden. Information, not firepower. They would never be allowed to get to the point where a single organization needed to be on the military's radar, and not the police's. Not when keeping the peace has been the primary focus for decades. A gathering of ships along those lines would be exceptionally conspicuous. Nor would the Federation have any reason to require another criminal organization's help to crack down on a separate one.
Nor, unfortunately, would they need a mercenary organization for cracking down on criminal organizations. Again, this is where I think you overestimate the extent of criminality in the setting. Such PMCs especially would not be used in the place of regular Federation forces, nor is it standard anywhere for such an entity to operate autonomously from the chain of command.
And this is where the last major issue comes into play; Federation Walker frames are not accessible to entities outside of the Federation military. The Ark Union farmed out development, but even so they're not letting private organizations just have military grade Walkers. At the very least not legally, and such things would be cracked down on hard if they were known. The Raptor, especially, is very new; there are no variants, let alone anything developed anywhere but Federation R&D. The Raptor Program is only just starting to actually roll out full production models, and was completing field testing of the unit up until recently. A private entity never would have laid hands on the technology.
I don't have any suggestions on how to tweak to fit the setting, yet. I've been giving it some thought, and will continue to give it some thought.












