Why Is No One Joining My RP (General Advice Thread)

[BrokenPromise]

While everyone's pitching their helpful ideas, I guess I'll give my 2 cents as well.

A lot of RPs that I start end up coming to completion. Part of it is because I've been failing doing this for a long time, another part is because I have a lot of autism determination, and I'm not one to give up on an RP just because a few people leave, or if even my favorite people leave. My Danganronpa RP is the first RP I started on this forum about three months into my membership, and it's going to have a satisfying ending right at the 4 year mark. That's going to happen because I decided to keep running the RP when most of the players left, and was willing to wait out some long hiatuses to make things work. And of course because I have players that I am willing to put that kind of effort in for. They have been just as patient and tolerant as I have, and are a large part of why I'm willing to hold out for them. Hell, they had to kick my ass into gear a few times and they probably didn't even know it. But it does take effort.

But that's sort of the exception. Usually I run an RP for a year or two with an end in mind. And hey, sometimes even those fail. Doesn't matter too much to me though. I've got great memories of RPs that didn't finish, and friends I made along the way. Yea, completing an RP does give you that rush of accomplishment. Like hiking up a tall mountain and conquering it. But even if you don't conquer the mountain, the hike can be its own reward.

[ERode]

To supplement old man Broken's ramblings, I would like to say that even if overplanning is perhaps not too great, having a clear end in mind IS very useful, because then, that means you (and the players) have a general idea of where to go in the end. The only RPs I've completed as a GM were relatively short RPs which had a pretty big focus on a quest-like plot, whether it be plunging into the eldritch depths of the Inverted Spire or destroying the goblin nest of Rugome Fort. Both of these had a clear end (everyone died before they reached the end of the Spire, and almost everyone died against the goblins because the goblin leader contracted with an alien god), and also lead to the teasing of future plot threads to pursue and keep in mind if you wish to continue it (what the hell was that last thing they saw in the Spire before their death? why the hell did an alien god grant their boons onto a single frickin' goblin?).

A pattern of having a problem, solving/failing the problem, and then the reflections afterwards forms the backbones of the RPs I've enjoyed along the years. There's always that adage about how the journey's more important than the destination, but having a destination informs the journey and gives meaning to it. Also it cuts down on the dread of an ending RP if you've always been prepared to end your year-old baby from the beginning.

Just don't be so excited that you start talking about how cool future arcs would be, while neglecting to make the starting arc fun and engaging. One, it's spoilers, two, it kills the surprise. That being said, I guess this is more RP-running advice rather than RP-interest-gathering advice. Or perhaps they're one and the same?

[fledermaus]

lizard brain likes pretty things, make it look nice

[rebornfan320]

What “Feels” to me is what it is Ammo. To me, I feel no one gets these hurdles as for every advice I have taken in order to deal with the hurdle it either doesn't work or there is another hurdle behind that. In comparison to other people, it seems like to me no one else to me is seeing it from how I am seeing it.

And that crude idiom you said and stated, I don't think that is my fault at all when it is those who dishonorably ghosts people that has me feeling what I feel. And I am not a bad person to talk to at all, that I feel is completely false.

I feel my perspective is right to me at least. From my viewpoint I feel so strongly about it, it could also be the passion I have for wanting to roleplay and to be on the same playing field as everyone else because I feel like I have been shafted over and over again and anything I have done to not be shafted again hasn't worked out at all. Honestly I do want to change this bad RP luck of mine and change it for good and I feel the only way to do that is for people to understand my side of things without them literally want to stab me [in relation of the surrounded swords picture] and to feel like my voice matters and to be on that equal ground with everyone else and to have a fair shot with a partner instead of being passed up on and worst thing, ghosted on again.

[rebornfan320]

On Broken's words, I feel the destination is very important and getting to that matters more than the journey because of having plans die out in the planning phase just sucks. I just want to have successful long term RP's with people with the same interests as me and every time I try it is like literally impossible as I feel I am going up against much harsher odds than anyone else.

[BangoSkank]

Just wanted to chime in and ask if anyone else has a good ass answer for

"what does success mean for me as a GM/RPer"

At some point I want to edit in a few of the answers for that to the OP.

[mickilennial]

Just don't be so excited that you start talking about how cool future arcs would be, while neglecting to make the starting arc fun and engaging.

@ERode

I have made this mistake many times.

[fledermaus]

Just wanted to chime in and ask if anyone else has a good ass answer for

"what does success mean for me as a GM/RPer"

At some point I want to edit in a few of the answers for that to the OP.

@BangoSkank

ez pz

Success as a GM means that my players are engaged and having fun interacting with each other in IC and OOC. It doesn't matter how long it lasts as long as they had fun while it did.

[Ammokkx]

Just wanted to chime in and ask if anyone else has a good ass answer for

"what does success mean for me as a GM/RPer"

At some point I want to edit in a few of the answers for that to the OP.

@BangoSkank

Are you telling me my answer wasn't quote-worthy? Bango... how could you do this to me?

Success as a GM is getting players to post, like, at all. That's a serious answer, if you need it. The GM's job, in my mind, is to make a fun adventure for the players. I struggle with this concept, like, a lot. As long as people are posting, or at the very least want to post, I am doing my job right. If they do not want to engage with the story, I have done something wrong and need to change my approach.

[rebornfan320]

@BangoSkank You don't have to use mine, but i figure to at least answer it.

Success for me as an Rper is when I know I can have long-term ones to actively enjoy and also having the interest for what I like at least to know my desires and opinions on things can be met with equal opportunity as wanting my effort to making a thread to pay off and feel that sense of accomplishment that something has gone either my way or said person's way for a change.

[Dion]

@Odin Here's your answer.
Well if everyone understood my viewpoint, it would solve me always ending up a target in the negative feelings for me when it comes to me stating something. I would like to be on equals grounds of relatability with other people as a whole. Also something to change to make people stop ghosting me as it is dishonorable and cowardly to do that to someone as you hyped up their interest only to leave them hanging.

@rebornfan320

Well, perhaps what I have to say can be of interest to you, then, since I do ghost people. The reasons vary but most of the time it just comes down to an incompatibility in how we write that wasn't apparent just from reading your interest check, or people are/get too clingy, or I just don't enjoy talking to them. I'm not saying these apply to you, since I have never roleplayed with you to my knowledge -- but these are just some reasons I ghost people. Almost all of the reasons that I ever ditch or ghost someone have to do with me not getting along (personally, creatively, whatever) with the person I was intending to write with.

On a personal level, ghosting needs to be stop and likely punished in some way to dis-encourage it as I feel once you make interest for a RP known to someone I expect 100 percent commitment to it unless you state that you are dropping off respectfully or will be busy.

Roleplaying is not a job. If you want me to be 100% committed to anything, start paying me. I, and many people like me on this website, write for fun. Requiring a 100% commitment from your partners at all times is insane. Nobody does this, just you. This is probably also the reason why you are disappointed so often. Nobody owes you their time.

RPG will also never punish people for ghosting. That's just never gonna happen.

And never assume I was even looking for pity, I am looking to be understood with what I feel coupled along with what I say but every single time I do I get met with swords and pitchforks from people as it feels like everyone is against me for even speaking out about something that is clearly upsetting me.

I remember speaking to you about this the first time you posted your thread and doing my best to help you. I also remember you not doing anything at all with the many, many comments people gave you -- which, imho, is quite disrespectful as people literally took time out of their day to try and help you, including reading through your thread.

I tried to look for your interest check but couldn't find it so I looked through your post history instead. I didn't find an interest check there either, so maybe I'm just blind, or alternatively you don't have one at the moment because the only interest check I could find through googling your username + roleplayerguild interest check netted me a single thread that was hidden away by the moderators (I can only guess as to why).

What I also found were posts like these two that, frankly, I have no other way to interpret other than 'rude.' If you did this to me in my thread I'd politely ask a moderator to hide your post and then do my best to never interact with you again. There's not even a simple hello or hi, how are you, interesting times we live in huh? or anything remotely similar to that; it's just you listing things you want.

Kinda like going to a store and pointing at everything and expecting the clerk to take it for you. I would suggest to stop doing this and to create a better interaction and, more importantly, to create a better first image of you by just.. being nice and friendly.

As was answered when I asked about this before people who complain a lot (and, foregoing civility, I'm not going to pretend that you're doing anything other than complain when you make statuses and threads about this topic) are also seen as unreliable or annoying partners.

"Why does every girl I date end up leaving me?" Gee, I don't know, but if I were a girl with even a remote interest in dating you, hearing this would probably also make me reconsider. Roleplaying is the same, as silly as that sounds, to finding a person to date. And if you tell people publicly that all your partners leave you, I'm going to assume that there is a reason for that.

And that really is the bottom line of this all; there is a reason for that, and you're choosing to lay that reason with everyone else but you. And, for the sake of keeping things in this thread general so that it may help others too, that is something nobody should do. If all your RPing partners leave you, that is indicative of the fact that you are doing something wrong, not that everyone else is doing something wrong.

So for anyone reading this wondering how they can keep people interested in them, their roleplay, or even interested in their tinkie winkie in their pants, the solution really is simple; be a better partner, and people will literally fight over you.

As for "understanding" you; I did at some point, maybe around the first time you made a thread about this. But the spiel has gotten old, I've read about 6 of these threads now, and all of them are the exact same. It has lost any and all value even as entertainment and it's just sad and annoying now. That's why people "get out the pitchforks." It's not because they hate you, it's that they hate when you post about everyone leaving you as if people owe you a roleplay.

But, if you really think that the reason you get so much negative responses is that people don't like you, then I also have an alternative solution for you: make a new account. No, really. Make a new name and write like someone else, and see how it goes. It might just work.

[fledermaus]

@BangoSkank You don't have to use mine, but i figure to at least answer it.

Success for me as an Rper is when I know I can have long-term ones to actively enjoy and also having the interest for what I like at least to know my desires and opinions on things can be met with equal opportunity as wanting my effort to making a thread to pay off and feel that sense of accomplishment that something has gone either my way or said person's way for a change.

@rebornfan320

You'll always be chasing that sense of accomplishment, dude. Not to be blunt, but it's not gonna come. RPs rarely conclude. If you want a community, to find like-minded people, then go into group RPs that most likely have discords. Discuss things with them.

Not to brag, but I think my roleplay Descension is fairly successful. It has lasted several months and, even though there hasnt been a post in nearly a month, people are still chatting and interacting in the discord. I don't plan on letting it die, once my finals are over I'm gonna double down and keep the momentum going, but even if it did I'd count is as a success. I had fun, my RPers had fun. That's the whole point of this - fun.

[BangoSkank]

I've got a slightly longer OP saved as a Private Message to myself and a list of other stuff but I'm gonna have to make my format less shit so it doesn't just become a long ass wall of text.

Also (insert heart emoji) Ammo.

[BrokenPromise]

Just wanted to chime in and ask if anyone else has a good ass answer for

"what does success mean for me as a GM/RPer"

At some point I want to edit in a few of the answers for that to the OP.

@BangoSkank

Successes for me is completing my goals. Yes, that is finishing the RP, but that is a very long term goal. I also have lots of short terms goals that I strive to hit. Sometimes it's wrapping a player up in the RP's story, getting a reaction out of someone, acquiring a waifu ,or just hitting any kind of milestone. I don't really set out with these goals in mind, they just kind of pop up while I'm RPing. I guess Success for me is just ensuring these little goals actually appear to me. so long as I have an objective, I seem to be enjoying myself.

[fledermaus]

someone post already

[Ammokkx]

someone post already

@fledermaus

I already threw in the towel. Please, no more.

[Chuuya]

I'm just here to read. Everything that I would have wanted to say has already been said by someone else. Or is probably too mean for me to say.

[fledermaus]

really i just want someone to compliment me on my GM prowess guys

[BangoSkank]

You my favorite GM fledermaus. I love how you GM.

[fledermaus]

You my favorite GM fledermaus. I love how you GM.

@BangoSkank

omg thanks for your unprompted compliment

the trick is to make your players hold themselves accountable, if they dont post steamroll ahead anyways