

"If nearly sucking his face every chance I can get not obvious enough, Sonny and I are dating now. We all know the story by now: children of a pair of best friends, born only five minutes apart on the same day at the same hospital, growing up together and unexpectedly falling in love. See, when I say Son has known me my whole life, it's not an exaggeration: he really has known me my whole life. From the second they placed us in the same cot when we were three days old, it was destiny that we would be inseparable. Sonny knows me better than anybody else in the world, and he's one of the few people I would trust with my life. Fuck, I already hate myself for how cheesy I'm going to sound saying this, but it's the truth: I have never known a life without Jackson Drake Jr. We laugh, we fight, we stop speaking for months at a time, but we always find our way back to each other.
Is he a fucking dipshit pain in the ass? Fuck yes, he can be. But can I live without him? Absolutely fucking not.
I love you, you stupid piece of shit. We're in this together for life.
"These people right here? I would
kill for them without a second thought."
"Although we've had a fuckton of ups and downs, I'm really fucking glad Ariel and I are on the same team again. Will I ever forget how she one day up and tossed me aside like yesterday's garbage without an explanation? No. But I have chosen to finally take my big brother's advice and be the better person. Plus, with all the bullshit going on between her and Kavi and how things were between me and Sonny, I figured we could both use a friend. Let's just hope she doesn't make me regret it."
"I've known Ryland for about the same amount of time I've known Sonny. He's like a brother to me, and the three of us are thick as thieves. Rye's a really cool dude, really fucking chill and lots of fun to be around. It's nice to have a neutral party like him for the arguments between me and Major Dipshit... Anyway, it really fucking sucks that he lived all the way in Cali and couldn't spend more time with us when we were growing up, but we get to have him around for our final semester! Homeboy's going to have a fucking blast with us. I guarantee it."
"And Archer? Add him to my list of life-given brothers. We've known each other since we were five, and he's held a special place in my heart ever since. Arch is one of the sweetest, most loyal and kind-hearted people I know, and he deserves the world and more. I'm not kidding when I said I would kill for any of these people, but especially for Archer. What: you don't believe me? Ask Bradley Leone. He'll tell you I fucking mean it when I say don't mess with Archer Diedrikson."
"I really fucking like Kavan! He laughs at my stupid jokes and has always been a really cool guy. We're not as close as I think we could be, but now that he and Archer are dating I really want to get to know him better! He's been such a good influence on Archie... As gay as it sounds, I actually really enjoy seeing how happy they make each other."
"Julie and I becoming friends is a plot twist not even I expected to happen. The Queen of King's Academy and I bonded months ago at Santiago's back to school party in what was probably one of my lowest points in life. She patiently listened to my ramblings and offered me her advice without judging or making fun of me. I know I messed things up at Homecoming when I accused her of taking sides, but I've long since apologized to her and we're back on good terms now. She's one of the few genuinely good people in the popular clique."
"Kavi and I are actually related in some sort of long, confusing way. We used to be close growing up, but he kind of drifted away from the rest of the misfits when we started high school. No love lost, though. He's still cool in my book."
"Things between April and I are... complicated, to say the least. We've known each other for years now, because her father and my uncle Dante are close. Anyway, come freshman year, I had this really big crush on her, but I never did anything about it because I swore she was straight. Turns out that homegirl's actually a closet bi. She came out to me the summer before junior year during a sleepover we had, and we decided to test the theory. We started making out (she was my first kiss, mind you), and things go really hot really fast. But before the underwear could come off, she backed out, and has basically avoided me ever since. I was really pissed at first, but I've gotten over it. She clearly has."
"I met Jasper about two years ago at the beach, and he's a really cool guy! I know people like to talk shit about him because he's not your typical high school boy, but all those people can suck my dick. We don't hang out as much though, and he doesn't have many friends. Let's see if we can change that this year."
"Carter doesn't know it, but he's my favorite person besides Sonny and the Misfits. His weed's the best one in the area."
"Georgia's the girl with the camera, right? Don't know much about her besides that, though."
"Jack's just your average dumb jock. Don't know him and don't care to know him. Next!"
"Sunshine? Who the fuck is that? What kind of person calls their child Sunshine? Jesus fucking Christ."
"Sawyer and I have spoken a few times, and he's actually a pretty decent guy for a jock. That's as far as things go between us."
"Shawna was some sort of nerd that's no longer a nerd? I don't fucking know. We don't run in the same circles."
"Duuuuuuh. Of course I know Chanel Martin: she's part of King's Academy royalty. She's hot as fuck with attitude for days. Honestly? I wouldn't mind getting to know her better."
"Nicole Milano? She's your typical cheerleader: pretty on the outside but seriously lacking brain cells. Don't have anything against the girl, though."
"Okay: these are the easiest people for me to describe how I feel about them."
"First of all, we have Stella, who's under the impression that life is all sunshine and rainbows and walks around with so much sugary sweet energy that it only takes five minutes of being around her for me to get diabetes and cavities."
"Next we have Mr. Fuckboy Supreme, who thought fucking everything that moved was a personality trait until it blew up in his face when he knocked April up. What do all these women see in him, anyway? Yeah, the dude has muscles and he's a hell of a football player. So what? Have fun being a daddy, Santi. I hope the kid turns out like the mama and not you."
"Then we have Ariana, who is basically the female version of ole' Diablo there. There's so much I could say about this succubus, but my loyalty to one of her victims keeps me quiet. Just know that if she dares play with this person again, you'll surely be visiting me in jail. I don't give a fuck that she's my cousin."
"Now, Max may be Archer's cousin who defends him nearly as much as I do, which means that I have some amount of respect for the man. But being Santiago's best friend and following his fuckboy ways? Nah, man. Miss me with that gay shit. It's not a good look for you."
"Finally, we have Prissy Chrissy, who is probably just as bad as Stella. If Stells is the Gabriella Montes in this High School Musical, Chrissy is the Sharpay... And I fucking hate High School Musical. Enough said."