Evil Ghost Note

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@Afro Samurai Accepted.

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@eclecticwitch So I have quite a few problems with this character. If I were to be entirely honest, I was totally fine with her until I got to the backstory section. Her backstory is really... over the top, don't you think? I know I kind of have the worst habit of giving my characters the worst backstories ever, but hers doesn't make any sense. And by that I mean her past is so bad that it doesn't line up with her personality, and to match up with her personality... I imagine she'd be some PTSD riddled wreck that probably wouldn't function in society (or look good as she does). I kinda get what you were going for, but I don't think it all adds up. I do so the potential of fixing her backstory so that it does add up, but it requires removing a lot of her sexual trauma and all the friends dying to ODing. I mean, seriously, this shit leads to lifetimes of mental trauma.

Also how does she really look so good? Even former heroine addicts look like shit.

Now, onto her power... which probably isn't as much of sticking point for me as her backstory but still has a few problems. My big thing is that it sounds like a Contrivance Superpower which is one thing I want to avoid in the RP, especially this one. I'm okay with her being able to pull a set of clearly defined weapons out of her space (Though I'm wondering where she gets them from? lol) but basically being able to pull whatever she wants out? Yeah, no. One way to do this is that she's able to transport objects in the same plane as her through time and space itself to herself and the closer it is, the faster she can do it. Her super strength is literally just tacked onto the rest of her powerset and I don't think, with how strong and versatile her power is right.

Her weaknesses and limits are also kind of... eh. Basically, for her weakness, that her power has a chance to be inconsistent? But what decides when it's inconsistent? Weaknesses like that are usually never really a detriment I observed. I mean you can give me control over it, but idk if you want do that. And I mean, her power has the potential to be pretty broken so I want some solid limits and weaknesses. Also being able to keep an object in this universe for two hours isn't long enough to make a difference lol

Vivid Recollections Season 2: Into The False Light [COMPLETE]

penis

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@ayzrules She's accepted.

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@Goldmarble I like him. Accepted.

@ayzrules Is it because she's asian????

Fyi, scrublord, there are thicc asians

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@ayzrules She's not thicc enough, rejected. Even though you ruined my glorious power, I think you should make some more edits to it to reflect that it's limited to beauty products. I know it's a tiny nitpick. Because the whole "lel who knows what could happen??11!!!!1?" part isn't really that clear imo.

@Afro Samurai I like Malik, I just want a more clearly explained reason as to how he was exposed to three different types of the Delta energy (I'm kinda wondering how he's a yellow when, at most, he's a red-blue). Also, logically, shouldn't his power blind him when he uses it?

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

@unicorgi This character's gonna need some work. I'm not going to be super strict about details for the RP, but I think; I think I want a bit more meat in her sheet. I mean, I left the sheet barebones for a reason but at least give me a two paragraph backstory.

Since the backstory is the most developed part of the character let me delve into that. For starters, I can say that Mariana has the potential to be a pretty interesting character, but you didn't really... develop her? You say that she's a gang member, but you don't explain anything about the gang. Like their name, size numbers, what they do, or even how she joined the gang (I mean, you can reasonably infer that she fell in line with them because of her poorer socioeconomic status). Though I honestly can't see a fifteen-year-old participating in a life of crime, child services would be all over that shit. lol

Though, I kind of get the impression she's more of a punk/rebel girl than an actual gang member (imma be real here; what gangster runs with the name Unicorgi? lol). But sure, let's go with a gang member, I guess the drawback would be that she would have a very piss-poor education. People in poor areas always get the short end of the stick education wise, and I don't see someone like Mariana would be hitting the books. Even though you were sparse with the details, you did lay a good groundwork... it just need some filling such as how and when she got her powers and maybe more information on what type of gang this is. When she got her power is probably the more important part because of how powers work in the setting (and the fact you went with Chromatic), this stuff has to be reasonably explained.

Now, onto her power... yeah that's not going to fly. You're going have to explain her power's capabilities a lot more in order for me to think about it or else she'd basically be able to do anything. I'm okay with a combo-platter power long as it's explained, but time powers are forbidden. Just look at the powers for the characters I made and try to see what I mean.

And adjust her formatting.

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

so I have a pretty good avatar making site but this shows to be using real pictures which I’m pretty sure I ain’t gonna find, is it fine if I use my avatar making site?

@unicorgi

i mean it doesn't need to be real pictures, art that's somewhat realistic works too.

Just no anime

weeabs.

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

Would it be okay to make a character?

@eclecticwitch

yup, they were just from the interest check

Charity Beach: Paradise Gone [Semi-Sandbox/Superhuman]

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@rebornfan320@JunkMail@Goldmarble@Jobst@Archmage MC@unicorgi@ayzrules@Kitty@DocRock@Aeolian@Saint Maxx@Altered Tundra@Jolteon

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