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2 yrs ago
Current i can't believe it's already christmas today
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3 yrs ago
*skeletal hand emerges from an unmarked grave* the drive thru forgot my side order
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3 yrs ago
Imagine having an opinion on rpg dot com
3 yrs ago
Let’s play a game where you try to sext me and I call the police
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3 yrs ago
i take it back im cringing at byrd because im also horny. thanks mate
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Bio

Maybe the real plot was the friends we made along the way. [Last Updated: April 3, 2022]


I'm 26 years old and I have learned not to share too much of my personal life on the internet. I work as an English and writing tutor at a local college.

I love literature and poetry, and I also enjoy writing and I like to think I'm not half bad at it. I first started writing as a hobby with online roleplay at the start of 2010, and I've slowly drifted away from it in recent years. I enjoy most genres, but if I had to pick a couple of favorites, they would be sci-fi and high fantasy—heavy enosis on the high fantasy. Some of my favorite characters have come from Elder Scrolls roleplays, since it appeals to the D&D nerd in me.

I have a tendency to get carried away with making my character sheets. I like telling their stories in the sheet sometimes even more than the roleplay itself, which depends on the roleplay itself of course. I want my readers to know how their background influences them as a person, how their personality bleeds into their appearance, and I love watching characters overcome their personal tragedies and finding their true selves as they watch their identities shatter and come back together. I've always been a fan of characters overcoming their weaknesses and obstacles and I try to make that show in many of my characters. Therefore, many of the narratives I explore come from a place of vulnerability, but I try to balance the heavy themes with light whimsy.

I also try to research whatever it is I'm writing about so that I'm not just spitting into the wind - unless that's what my character is doing, in which case I try to make sure that's made clear in my writing. It’s kind of hard to define my style, as I’m influenced by all sorts of schools of criticism; dark romanticism, modernism, post-modernism, Marxism, feminism, post-structuralism—I have a lot of isms in my pocket. Nathaniel Hawthorne is one of my favorite dark romantic authors, Dickinson is one of my favorite naturalist poets, Judith Ortiz Cofer, Langston Hughes, and Robert Frost—they’ve all in some ways informed my writing, as well as many others. I even tend to look to some of my fellow guild mates for inspiration or analyze what I like about their writing and see what I can do to improve my own through their example.




Prime Rib Boneheads
@Dragonbud
@Luminous Beings
@Maxx
@JunkMail
Calcium Supplements
@megatrash
@ML
@Polymorpheus
@SepticGentleman
@Byrd Man
@Skai
@Heat
@Chuuya
@Enarr
@Tiger


These Tickle My Funny Bone
You can find me in:

Currently in no roleplays.

Most Recent Posts

shy jung



Technology in the hollow moon was surprisingly… hard to access. Sure, there were strange geological structure with ionic bonds and carbon chains that might have been interesting for a naturalist to study, but some people like engineers were met with the infuriating task of deciphering lines of alien code – assuming they were ever able to reach them. The Custodians were functionally no different from Shy’s own drones, and surely there must have been a sort of network available for them to communicate and navigate through Hollow Moon. Only problem with that is how Shy could not fucking find any of it. Must have it been deeper in the moon? Even when she could not find a tangible piece of tech and she tried to pick up the signal and tap into the network, all she got was a bunch of alien jargon. It sure was not the sequence of ones and zeroes she was used to, and she probably should not have expected the Latin alphabet or Arabic numerals within the core of an alien world.

Ugh, she’d probably have to find some kind of expert on xenolinguistics to help her crack it – but oh wait, there weren’t any experts on xenolinguistics, because this was the first sign of alien life that’s been discovered! Damn piece of sh—

“Alert. Mixer storm manifesting in - twenty, minutes. Exit Hollow Moon or seek shelter soon.”

Oh, isn’t that great? Hollow Moon might have been more of a pain in the ass than it was worth, but Shy supposed that was the cost of being the first. She glanced around her surroundings, hearing the growl of a distant storm – or was it a beast in the jungles? It was hard to tell at times, but she was afforded the comfort of not being totally aware of her surroundings by the three spherical drones hovering in the air with the assistance of maglift technology. If they detected anything within range, they would alert her and stun whatever alien beastie that came running with an electrical arc or low-powered optic laser. Shy, bored as ever, worked the tech-pad computer on her wrist. The nearest safehouse would be… shelter twelve.

The distant sound of crashing trees seemed to signal its location as Shy double-checked the navigation assistant to make sure that this was not the case. 'These things are never easy on Hollow Moon.'

The sound of a barrage of suppressing gunfire followed suit. 'Fortunately, humanity made sure that wouldn’t be a problem.'

Booming roars the bright blue thunderheads rolling in threatened more than just Shy's safety. She was no naturalist, but she knew that the wildlife will be looking for shelter just like she was. No morsel could possibly be worth getting caught out in a mixer storm, and surely the many generations of learned fear taught them it was better to be hungry for a short while. Anything not smart enough to take cover probably didn't last very long in this world. It was just as well then that Shy soon came upon the shelter with five minutes left to spare. The very static in the air was beginning to make the hair on her neck stand on end, and make her right arm and right eye feel irritated and numb. Even her tech-pad was experiencing interference. Whatever caused these storms, there was definitely some kind of combination of ionization and electromagnetism in the air.

Whatever.

"Entry logged at shelter - twelve."

There was only one other person inside the shelter, another woman. Looked like the mercenary type too, probably has a big gun. Shy inputted an order for the drone to deactivate until the storm passed, and the three spherical robots slowly drifted over toward a recharging station for different technologies. She played with one of them a while back, it was pretty basic stuff; they relied on electrostatic generators to create a field to be siphoned by electronics equipped with a receiving antenna connected to heavy-load capacitors. The people of the twenty-first century could only dream of this household utility. As they entered their dormant state Shy yawned deeply and stretched her arms above her head, pacing her way toward the couches. Maybe she'd strike up conversation with this stranger.

"Moon's not as exciting as I thought it'd be." Shy commented dryly, breaking the silence as she fell carelessly onto the cushions. "What do you think?"
condolences :-(
Peace Talks

8:45 PM Last Seed, 21
Castle Wayrest



“These negotiations seem to be heavily weighted in the Black Bastard’s favor, Fontaine.” Said a woman whose long blond hair tumbled over her shining plate armor adorned with golden tassel, her blue cloak draped over one of her shoulders. Her voice is bold and fearless, and her ostensive dress pointed to the degree of importance of which she assumed in her knightly order. Lady Ervette spoke with a certain degree of spite in her voice, making sure to address the other party by their name -- and doing so with particular stress, as to denote their lack of an official station. She continued, “Are you sure your terms are not the bidding ordained by Broken-Shield? Everard has much more to gain from this peace deal than our lord, High King Ferrand.”

“Ma’am, please.” Fontaine Dupont replied gently and respectfully. “King Frithjolf has acknowledged the Trifection as a legitimate order since its transition.”

“So you are indebted to him?”

“Our legitimacy has been acknowledged by a kingdom of who’s borders the order exists within, simply that.” Fontaine maintained. “But back to the proposition, the interests of both sides of war are being considered, however true it might be that Everard might see a disproportionate amount of aid or leniency due to the section of the city which they occupy. Given Ferrand’s longer occupancy of the main docks, most of the pirate threat has been dislocated, but since the conflict, chaos by the private docks which Camlorn and Jehanna occupy allowed for these threats to remain within Wayrest. Our ultimate consideration is the welfare of Wayrest’s people, who have been unfairly caught in the middle of the conflict and suffer from the pirates and criminals taking advantage of them in these chaotic times.”

He gestured a hand to a man on his other side, also wearing armor which has been layered over a red gambeson. Continuing, he said, “And we will not be taking care of the problem ourselves for the rebellion, but our own Lady Carlisle will be commanding the provided auxiliary support for Sir Ithacus and his troops. The hope is that after this time passes, not only will Wayrest be safer for the people who live here, but the cease-fire will allow everyone time to calm down and we can continue with peace talks.”

“Wait, you mean my daughter Carlisle?” Ithacus asked.

“No, a different Carlisle. From my order.”

“Ah, I see. Well, Lady Ervette,” Ithacus tutted, rubbing shoulders with Duke Egan, “I would hope you are not so preoccupied with your own agenda that the Order of the Dragon would forget about the good people caught in the crossfire.”

“Crossfire which occurred only when the Bastard took you and his men past the wall and brought this conflict with him.” Crown-Prince Gregory Bellemont interjected. “Don’t be so eager to forget that it was your Knights of the Flame who rained destruction on the city’s defenses and challenged my father, not the Dragon’s.”

“Enough,” Sir Fontaine demanded, his voice cutting through the bickering. “Do not reduce your noble orders to bickering like petty nobles. The fact remains that both sides of this conflict are responsible for conscripting Wayrest’s own people to fight this bloody civil war. If this continues, there will no longer be a Wayrest to rule, only an empty castle.”

He released a tired sigh and continued, “As the grandmaster of the Trifection Templars, I am giving this discussion my final word: a cease fire will be in place for my order to assist the Free Realms in clearing out the concentration of pirates and criminals by the south docks. Greater High Rock, with your larger and more organized army, should be more than capable to clear the East docks. If this is not the case, then we will spare a few men, but no more. By the end of these operations, we can continue peace talks. Are we agreed?”

There was a discordance of tentative mutterings, but the lot of them were in agreement.

“Finally.”
Cheyenne "Shy" Jung

Though anything but shy, Shy's insulated upbringing and spectrum present personality has her empathizing more with robotics than other people. Brought up by two brilliant scientists who traveled from planet to planet has made her accustomed to interplanetary travel and introduced her to the world of programming and engineering. Her sharp intellect carried her through life when her deadpan charisma didn't, sardonic humor when emotion couldn't; when she found she couldn't understand sarcasm, she learned to wield it like a weapon or wear it like armor. One way or another, she made a name for herself as a premier military-engineer for her innovations in robotics and artificial intelligence. Even when a terrible accident robbed her of an arm and an eye, she personally designed the cybernetics that were constructed to replace them and let the neurologists figure out how to adapt them appropriately; the final design saw to it that the arm was covered in a skin-like latex and the eye was covered in a non-irritant gel. With the discovery of the Hollow Moon, she seeks to get her hands on some of this alien tech and see what makes it tick with the help of three personally-designed miniature drones. With any luck, maybe she could even get her hands on one of those Custodians, too.

Cheyenne "Shy" Jung

Though anything but shy, Shy's insulated upbringing and spectrum present personality has her empathizing more with robotics than other people. Brought up by two brilliant scientists who traveled from planet to planet has made her accustomed to interplanetary travel and introduced her to the world of programming and engineering. Her sharp intellect carried her through life when her deadpan charisma didn't, sardonic humor when emotion couldn't; when she found she couldn't understand sarcasm, she learned to wield it like a weapon or wear it like armor. One way or another, she made a name for herself as a premier military-engineer for her innovations in robotics and artificial intelligence. Even when a terrible accident robbed her of an arm and an eye, she personally designed the cybernetics that were constructed to replace them and let the neurologists figure out how to adapt them appropriately; the final design saw to it that the arm was covered in a skin-like latex and the eye was covered in a non-irritant gel. With the discovery of the Hollow Moon, she seeks to get her hands on some of this alien tech and see what makes it tick with the help of three personally-designed miniature drones. With any luck, maybe she could even get her hands on one of those Custodians, too.

"Hey, what is it exactly that we're stealing?"

Finch:
The Unfamiliar Territory of Tactics
...and How the Company Faked the Appearance of Competence
ft. @gcold@Frizan@Hank

21 Last Seed, 7:30 PM


“I’ll take point!” Mary said to her comrades. She reached for her sword and hesitated, and instead drew her silver dagger. Though the darkness impaired her vision, her eyes flashed with bioluminescence with the casting of a spell and were fixed on Ander’s aura, who quite literally fell into the lion’s den (or werecrocodile’s den in this case) and was now wounded beneath a pile of rubble. There was nothing she could think of that could get her to his side without having to get past the beast first. She looked around her, briefly assessing her allies -- Narzul and Piper were both heavily armored and held shields in their hands. “Narzul and Piper on my flank, we’ll circle around it. Archers and mages can provide long range support. Once we’re in position, cover me so I can give aid to Ander!”

Mary was used to working on her own, having to rely only on her own wits and resources. It didn’t feel natural to her to be belting out orders, but she also made a career out of monster hunting, so dealing with were-creatures and the like was where she shined — and speaking of shining, this werecroc likely didn’t have the issue of the twilit sewers impairing its vision. That must mean it might be more sensitive to light.

She moved on ahead, leaping from the ledge and leading the way for the others to follow behind, holding her enchanted silver dagger in a reverse grip in one hand and her shield in the other. Briefly arming her shield arm with the dagger, she focused her magicka in her free hands, fist clenched. Beams of light squeezed their way past the cracks and crevices between her fingers.

“Hey, stinky!” She shouted at the beast from behind.

The moment the creature turned, it was met with a bright flash of light bursting from Mary’s palm. Immediately, the werecroc fell to its knees, hissing and roaring as it held its palms against its eyes, trying to shake away the blinding colors floating in darkness behind its eyelids.

“Now!” She yelled, moving around the creature’s flank and positioning herself between it and Ander. “Circle around!”

“Forward!” Piper shouted. With moderate difficulty, the Imperial was able to push through the near calf-high waters and bring herself to the beast’s side. Even though it impaired her movement, she was glad to be back in her full armor. Even with the pieces she was able to smuggle in, Piper had still felt a little naked during the Evermore banquet.

Teardrop shield held at the ready in front of her, Piper uncoiled her sword arm into a heavy stab at the werecrocodile’s ribs. She could see the tip of the blade disappear into the beast’s flesh, but an incredible resistance prevented her from digging deeper; their hide was tougher than she thought. The beast roared in fury as Piper pulled her blade back to her side. Dark, viscous blood mixed with a nauseating slime coated the tip. She had heard of adventurers and crypt-delvers that stuffed their helmets and masks with fragrant flowers or herbs to hold back the various stenches that wafted through their chosen hunting grounds. Perhaps she should try that at some point.

Up above, in the darkness where not even Piper could spy him, Sagax had hidden himself in the strange vines that covered the walls and ceiling of the cistern. He had shadowed Mary, following her step for step until just before she drew the monster’s anger. He had tested the vines and began climbing.

Sagax was surprised at how sturdy the vines were. They were as almost thick as coils of rope found aboard a merchant ship, and they held his weight easily. Moving among them was simple, having left his bag and dress coat behind in the main tunnel, Sagax had great freedom of movement in his leather armor. He gripped his Dwarven dagger tightly, balancing on two vines using the arches of his boots to secure himself.

He blanched slightly as Mary casted her spell; even from his height, the light still burned into his pupils, momentarily casting dark shapes in his vision. He blinked twice in an effort to readjust. The werecrocodile recoiled at the blinding light that erupted from Mary’s hand, and he could see his sister and Narzul approaching. All the rogue had to do now was wait for everyone to get into position.

Narzul moved in, his shield and sword up, and formed the final piece of the three pronged wall to contain the beast. Mary remained ever mindful of the man buried beneath the rubble behind her. Perhaps too mindful. Her eyes darted between the beast and an inch or so over her shoulder, and was nearly caught off guard by the sweeping of the werecroc’s tail as it turned angrily toward Piper. Mary batted it away with her shield, though the creature didn’t seem to notice the impact, nor the fact it nearly made collateral damage to the young Templar.

Two furious slashes with its claws grinded against Piper’s shield, its sheer force battering her arm behind her defense, and Narzul retaliated with two swipes of his own at the creature’s flank, distracting the monster from its onslaught on the Imperial. Behind the impenetrable visage of his steel helmet, his face was severe and his teeth were gritted. The werecrocodile was a formidable beast and Narzul decided to forego war cries and other frivolities in the face of such a beast. He just hoped his allies were up to the task. His ebony blade was heavier and sharper than ordinary steel and the two wounds he inflicted were significant -- but not anywhere close to fatal. The gleam of Mary’s enchanted dagger caught his eye. Magic would definitely help. He thought about calling out for Niernen’s aid, but the thought of being trapped in the cistern with a roaring firestorm made him change his mind.

For the most part, this strategy was working, but only for as long as their stamina could hold out or until the others finally commenced their ranged assault. The creature swung wildly at Narzul, but Mary caught its flailing tail with the tip of her silver dagger, causing it to recoil and bellow in pain -- a stark contrast to the nuisances it seemed to regard the other weaponry as. Its blood appeared to boil on the blade. From the corner of her eye, she barely caught Sagax, creeping around and looking for an opportunity. Silently, she waved him over.

From a safe distance, Niernen watched the fight with her fists balled and clasped to her mouth. She was afraid, just as Narzul was, that using her fire magic in the confined space would accidentally cause more harm than good -- but she was sad and frustrated that she could not help, and worried for their safety. “Careful, Narzul!” she shrieked when Mary’s dagger spared her brother from one of the werecroc’s vicious strikes and stamped her feet in the grimy water. “Oh, sod this,” she spat and closed her eyes. “Azura, lady of twilight, please protect my brother and our friends…” began her prayer. What else could she do?

While Niernen hoped for divine (or daedric, rather) intervention, Sagax tried something a bit more immediate. The beast was now directly under him, pinned into position by Narzul, Piper and Mary. The latter gave him his cue to strike.

Holding his dagger tightly in an underhand grip with both hands, Sagax let himself fall through the vines he had been watching the battle from. He hit his mark with acceptable precision, the blade all but disappearing into the werecrocodile’s neck. Sagax quietly thanked the Dwemer for their exceptional craftsmanship. And gravity, of course, for without which he would not have had the momentum necessary to actually plunge the dagger any deeper than the tip. His new ally would quickly betray him however.

The monster snapped its torso backwards and let loose a roar that shook dust from the ceiling and a few unlucky spiders from their carefully-weaved webs. In its panicked state, the werecrocodile twisted violently from side to side, desperately lunging its hands at its newfound foe. Eventually the beast succeeded, grabbing the rogue by the arm and tossing him away. Sagax flew several feet before colliding with one of the cistern’s pillars and falling into a pool of dirty water with a splash.

Seeing Sagax fall limply was more than enough to spark Piper’s eternal ire. She was something beyond furious, and the next thing she felt herself do was grip her longsword’s handle like a vice. The Imperial screamed with rage and thrust her blade at the beast once more, which was showing signs of faltering. She used every ounce of strength she had in her legs and arms to put as much force into her attack as humanly possible.

Grabbing ahold of the opportunity, Mary and Narzul began their own barrage of attacks, both letting forth their own war cries. Though theirs were much less girlishly high-pitched, it had to be said.

After the trio’s exhausting onslaught, the werecrocodile, now bleeding profusely all over its scaley hide, swayed and ultimately crashed to the ground. A small tremor emanated from the point of impact. The beast was able to get a few more swipes at its attackers with tail and claw, but it was not enough to halt its demise. The company was weary, but victory was theirs.

After giving themselves a moment to breath and make sure the beast was truly dead, a period of time in which Sagax carried himself out of the sewage with his sister’s help, Mary ran towards the rubble under which Ander was buried. After shoving some of the rocks aside, a gasp pierced through the aching moaning and groaning of her allies as she cried out, “He’s alive!”
8:30pm, Last Seed 21
Dibella's House of Common Pleasures


'Too attached to things, indeed; except for maybe the wine glass.' Finch thought to himself.

The young man made a concerted effort in hiding the down payment underneath a wrapping of fabric. Bed sheets were re-purposed into being tied around a dragon scale shield before he re-fixed the sash bound across his chest, so that it would be run through the artifact's grip. He thought of it as a rather lousy down payment; valuable, sure, but it wasn't conspicuous at all and he didn't exactly know how to use a shield efficiently. It's use essentially boiled down to being sold or given to some no-good mercenaries that he didn't even know yet and doubted he'd particularly care for. He cared neither for carrying copious amounts of septims on his person nor for working with others, unless it was on a ship. In this case, working with others meant sneaking and thieving, and his experience made it very clear to him that more didn't make merrier.

A rueful sigh escaped his lips. Since he somehow got dragged into doing a job for a lord likely as corrupt as the next, it likely wouldn't bode well for him to ignore his wishes, or to run off with his expensive down payment. He was certainly right about one thing: this job of his was unexpected. Find the man who stole his golden blade and preferably kill him in the process. Well, that meant Everard set himself up for disappointment at least once. The lord didn't know about Finch's feelings surrounding murder. Or even death for that matter, but that was on him for dismissing his “nobody” hireling so quickly. If Finch was any more spiteful than he already was, he might just walk far away with the dragonhide shield and golden sword, robbing him of both, and go where they'd never find him... but honestly, Everard just dragged him into a no-win scenario: if Finch doesn't go through with this, the lord would likely kill him. If he does, Mathieu might kill him. Explains why the bastard would go through the trouble of picking out a “nobody” like him.

What was even the point of a golden sword? It was far too soft a metal, the man probably just liked carrying it around as a status symbol. Maybe he was overcompensating for the small one in his trousers.

In any case, he appraised the sketch of Mathieu the Whisper. The man was a spymaster, which meant he had a network of people working for him. If he truly did steal the blade, then it's possible he's covering his trail, left a false one, or already knows that Everard hired him to steal it back. Hiring a group would honestly just create more opportunities for leaks, but if Finch was caught unawares, nobody would notice or bat an eye. All he really needed was protection, the rest was just deceiving the deceiver and covering his own trail. Reading about him probably wasn't likely if he was any good at his job, and asking around would be dangerous if any one of them were one of his agents.

He really didn't want to sub-contract mercenaries. This job was already bigger and hotter than he wanted. If someone wanted some dumb ring or key, that'd be fine, but he was being sent after a spymaster's stolen gold sword. Ugh.

The young man strided down the stairs and looked at the keeper of this business behind his counter, counting his coin. Then, next to the stairs, spotted a man taking a deep drink from his ale. On his way over, Finch deliberately bumped into him, causing the man to spill his drink all over himself. Before the man had a chance to be angry with him, Finch leaped into action.

“Oh Gods, I'm so sorry!” Finch gasped, immediately crouching down and trying to pat him dry using his own sleeves. “Sincerely, I didn't notice you. My heads must have been up in the clouds!”

“Ugh,” the man groaned, muttering something under his breath about just getting his shirt tailored, “y'know what, it's just a fucking drink. But would it kill ya to watch where yer goin' next time?”

“You're right. Again, I'm really sorry!” In the midst of patting him down, he broke the drawstring of his coin purse hanging from his belt and glided it towards his pocket. “Next time I get payed and see you here, your drink will be on me.”

The man bitterly waved him away with the thief's head hanging low. He poured the pouch's coins out from inside his pocket and set the empty pouch down on one of the tables too busy with conversation to notice.

“Sir,” Finch said to the manager, who was met with only a finger as he continued to count his coin.

“Sir.” He repeated.

“What? What is it, kid?” The man finally spat.

“I understand some mercenaries are renting a room here.”

“I can't tell you if anyone has rented a room here for confidentiality's sake.”

“If there are mercenaries, then they likely wouldn't mind. They're for hire. I'm looking to hire.”

“I still cannot confirm or deny--”

Finch took the fistful of coins in his pocket and set it on the counter. “This is all I have. Please.”

The keeper looked at the coins and raised an eyebrow at Finch. “Not that it's my business, but don't you need money to hire a mercenary?”

“I have other assets to provide as down payment.”

The man sighed and slid the coins toward his side of the counter before counting them out. “Upstairs. Premium room.”

“Thank you.”

Finch's pace quickened across the ground floor, making a beeline towards the staircase. He heard behind him some sudden shouting, “Hey, you thieving bastard!” Finch whipped around to see the man who Finch had bumped into earlier marching towards the table where he left the empty coin purse and grabbing that man by his shirt. With a relieved sigh, Finch jogged up the next few flights of stairs to where the premium rooms were. He passed the guards stationed outside Everard's moaning chambers and rapped his knuckles against the door beside it.

As soon as the door opened, Finch's dirty face fell grim and serious.

“Are you looking for work?”
Numero dos!

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