6

As the world stills in quiet reflection, the nights grow long and the days blink by. Forests ever weeping, become bare to biting air. Slow frost creeps in, letting sleep that which grew bright and nourishing. Which breathed and exhaled in blessed warmth, now withers in decay, growing no more. The land turns ever barren still, as creatures small and large prepare with what remains of warmer times. Then the winds come, howling down from the north, bringing chill air and few smells. Bit by bit, in a storm of arctic air. It freezes waters, blankets the land in blinding white, clouds the skies in silent grey and chills the bones of any who linger where they should not. The cold has arrived, bringing winter and lonely dark. It is the absence of heat, the inescapable reality of the seasons changing. All in the name of rebirth.

Yet, it need not always be so cruel and unforgiving. Life can exist within cold lands, by stout of heart and those prepared. Cold is necessary within the grand plans of reality for without it the world would grow too hot, the appreciation of both chill and warmth would have little meaning and life would not replenish itself to grow better and brighter time and time again. The wintertime feelings that invoke such sadness and at times, hopelessness, can make people stronger and come together. It is through the cold that people persevere and become stronger for it, else they not become anything at all, save for memories.

Chailiss has complete control over the aspect of cold, bequeathed to him by the great Monarch. It is through this aspect that the Winter Lord expresses his will and power. Through it Chailiss is capable of manipulating the land to absolute points of freezing, or induce feelings of cool. Summoning great blizzards, blowing howling gusts, shaping icy crags and turning seas to ice. His powers go beyond land, to more personal levels. He is able to harden minds and hearts, drive away pain and suffering through numbing. Even suppress feelings of cold by stripping it away or by adding to it. He is a gift giver when generous and a life taker when angered. For cold is a useful tool in times of mirth and joy but also suffering and strife.



To call the God of cold, cold, would not, in fact, be an accurate representation of his personality. He can be cold at times of course, for who isn't? But Chailiss is much more than a cold, uncaring and unforgiving monster that many can associate with his aspect. He does not view his purpose as evil or good but just a necessary function for life. It can be both used as a tool of wickedness and for righteousness but more often than not it simply exists and he, the Shepard that watches over it.

He does not view heat and fire any less favorably than he does his own aspect, though he does prefer the cold. One of his major gripes with heat is that it can be as equally dangerous without proper care and where it flares hottest, one can be only burned. Though he does not often agree with the feverish passions that heat commands, he is no less susceptible at times as any other. Those that abuse his aspect and any other with the intent to harm cruelly and without reason, he looks down upon. Whether he acts is another matter all together.

The Winter Lord is most at home wandering his great swathes of frigid land. Chailiss is a quiet God but social enough to carry a conversation. There is mirth and laughter behind his outward appearance. He feels compassion and empathy for the downtrodden but will only help if asked. Strength and a level head go hand in hand but strength of heart is a different beast. The chill can become lonely and sadness can set in. At such times, Chailiss does not often think about anything other then himself. The opposite of this is his anger. He Who Knows rage just as any other with enough pestering and contempt. In those times he becomes the cold north and all should be wary of his wrath. He is not without temperament and is protective of what is his.



The lonely wanderer need not have legs to walk, or arms to swim, or lungs to breathe or any other part so vital to mortals. Chailiss takes the form of a massive orb, for the cold constricts and tightens. The orb is white, swirling with snow and ice, emanating the deepest frost, the coldest chill. To look upon him would be like being forever lost in an endless blizzard of beauty. Breath stripped away as the cold numbs you to quiet sleep. His voice is the howling wind or the endless quiet.

When not traveling in such a mighty disguise, Chailiss often takes the form of a hooded figure without a defined shape, floating upon unseen currents. This is not to say he doesn't assume other forms. Often a tall bearded man, or a whispy pale ghost. It all just depends upon his mood.

In the last iteration that I was a part of (Mk. III) I had a similar character to yours, so the others really wanted me to be the one to give feedback to you. The Aspect has potential and I’m glad this niche is being filled, however some elaboration is warranted and probably necessary so that the details are ironed out and everyone is on the same page about how something as important as souls, death, and ghosts etc. is supposed to work in the setting. It seems that you are establishing that reincarnation is not really a thing (or if it is; it’s an irregularity and would probably only happen with magic or some other god’s intervention), that souls exist inside even the basest form of life like plants and bacteria (and are souls found even in rocks and nature too, perhaps? Some real religions believed in that sort of animism; I think it’s found in Shinto for instance, and in Greek mythos the rivers had personified spirits in the form of nymphs, etc.), and that all souls go to some sort of afterlife after death with exceptions once again being an irregularity, and that news souls are constantly created as things are born and there’s an unlimited supply or source of ‘soul stuff’. All fine and good, but correct any misunderstanding here if it exists, so that we can firmly establish how the souls and death in this setting is supposed to work.

So then I have some further questions, specifically: what sorts of things can Voi do with your idea of a Soul Aspect, and what sorts of things do you plan to have him do? I take it his powers include claiming the souls of the dead and sending them to appropriate afterlives, maybe even constructing said afterlives and/or delivering judgement to punish or reward the dead for their deeds in life? With the Soul Aspect do you also intend to take jurisdiction over ghosts etc.? It can be quite limited and I’m just trying to make sure you have enough stuff to do, because it feels like you might spend a few posts creating an underworld and such as a one-and-done, and then wind up thinking, “Now what’s left to do?” In my case, my character was working under a quite different system of souls where they all had to be ‘recycled’ and destroyed so that new life could be made through reincarnation or sorts, which necessitated a pretty gruesome system that many other gods naturally opposed, and that obviously created conflict for my soul god to deal with. But you seem to have a much more benevolent and unintrusive god and a tamer system, so I don’t foresee that sort of conflict arising and you’ll have to look to something else for plotlines and posts.

I think the answer might be found in personality. I like that your god is somewhat interventionist and isn’t just going to be reclusive, because this means you’re a lot less likely to be trapped struggling to find things to post about after setting up the initial afterlife etc. as I imagine you’ll be wanting to do early. Specifically, you say, “Watching events from afar or in mortal form. Sometimes interfering in events if he deems it something important. As deep down, Voi is a kind and thoughtful god. One normally on the sidelines but, will jump into the frontline if he feels he needs to.” The bolded, emphasized parts are what intrigue me. You imply that he has some morals or values, but what exactly are they? Can you expand this with at least a few sentences to show what he cares about and when he would feel the need or desire to intervene with the living? Presumably he’s just a good guy and might do something if he notices a ton of souls coming in at once to imply some sort of massacre going on, but that’s just me guessing and projecting how I might write the character. I’d like to see you clarify with your own ideas.

Not much to say about the true form, it works fine though.

I know that I wrote a lot but I hope you don’t find that daunting, because it shouldn’t take too much more writing to answer my questions and address the points that I raised, maybe just a few sentences here and there. The sheet is quite overall good and is accepted; I just think these questions are quite important to get answered because you’ve chosen a very impactful Aspect that will necessitate establishing some universal ground rules for the setting. Ask on the Discord if you want any clarifications or help, and once you’ve expanded upon and clarified the points that I’ve raised, feel free to post this on the characters sheet.

So the Salt Aspect is of course very niche and narrow but it’s clear that you know that and have already thought it through and have ideas, so none of us were very concerned about that. You’ll be able to make it work and find things to do given what we see in your persona section -- a clingy, attention-seeking, and potentially violent goddess will leave you with plenty of things to do with just that Salt Aspect. And of course though you don’t touch upon it much, there’s the possibility of branching into the connotations of salt representing purity and the myths of it repelling demons or monsters, etc.

I like the quirks of her being susceptible to flattery and eventually caving in to granting some prayer if enough mortals ask, but it’s somewhat surprising that she’d then grant it even if it’s one to destroy some other group that presumably also worships her. How might she decide what to do when two opposing groups are both praying that she smite the other? I presume the answer is something along the lines of ‘arbitrarily, or maybe based upon which one she happens to like more.’

I will give particular praise to the true form, it’s very cool and thematic and my favorite one yet. I know it’s hard to come up with something original that’s still fitting and striking but you did a very good job there.

I spotted a typo or two but that’s easily overlooked, and you said you’d go back and give it a second pass anyways. Maybe I only spotted them because you said something and got me looking anyway, haha. Brevity in these sheets is a compliment of its own; I try to discuss things in depth where I think it’s warranted and ask any questions that I have, but when a sheet feels complete there’s often not too much for us to say. It’s well done. Sheet accepted!

Good to have you back old pal :)

You have a solid and straightforward Aspect with lots of potential, broad enough to do many things but not so broad that I feel the need to ask you to clarify limits or anything like that. It’s good to have the addition of a classic earth god!

The persona section is likewise straightforward but it works, and I especially like the quirks like his refusal (or maybe even inability?) to lie; things like that combined with his blunt nature will make for funny and interesting dialogue I’m sure. The True Form of a mountain-sized giant was obligatory and I expected nothing less.

Once again, there’s not much to say because your sheet conveys what it needs to and we have no real concerns; even if we did, you’re a good and flexible writer that we’ve known for a long time so we’d feel fine giving you a great deal of leeway.

Since you made a good sheet I’ll reciprocate the effort and try to give as good a review as I can and have some substance for you to mull over rather than just a few words of praise, even if that means nitpicking or hyperfocusing on a couple words. In particular I think we can talk about this part of persona, "...it his duty to shape the lands that the Monarch of All has created and prepare those that live on them for the challenges of life." That part that I emphasized in bold could be explained more -- it reminds me a lot of Ruina actually, and I already suggested 404 maybe talk to you about doing some things together. So how exactly does Voligan try to ‘prepare’ the mortals? We can infer that he might occasionally send a random earthquake or natural disaster to shake things up and keep them from getting too soft, but that isn’t ever stated. A few more lines exploring this desire of his and its thought process, as well as how he’ll actually go about ‘preparing’ mortals and creations, would be a nice addition to your sheet.

Celebration and ceremony spring up in all typical mortal cultures. It is inevitable. Even the most battle-hardened veteran will find cause for cheer eventually, when victory against the enemy finally comes, or when the newest child in the family is born. Societies come together to celebrate grand events and holidays. Families and villages revel in the abundance of harvest or the fortunate outcome of hard labor. Individuals find cheer in all manner of things. Sometimes a group of mortals just want to forget the dark and grit that looms over the coming days and immerse themselves in a communal feeling of living in the now and living their best lives.

These ceremonies of joy and expressions of happiness fall under the aspect of Revelry. No matter the size, social or societal value, or formality. A party, a ball, and a festival all follow the same notes of spreading good feeling and inspiring people to open up to one another, shape new bonds and experience fresh things. This bubbling flare of emotion is central to Revelry, which centers on allowing those weighed down by stress, anxiety and responsibility to loosen up and appreciate what’s in front of them, or look upon the positive parts of their existence. The lowest form of revelry is the simple appreciation of a thing or a moment – a shared laugh or a guilty pleasure. On the most extreme end of revelry lies truly debauched hedonism and dereliction of duty to pursue personal pleasure.

With control of this aspect, Zenia directs crowds to ease their tensions and celebrate what they have in common. She can create from next to nothing the urge to liven up and forget about the past – and the future – even if just for a time. This could stall an army that decides to have a hearty feast before marching on, create the perfect harvest festival for a village that will live on in memory in many new ways, or help someone literally become the life of the party to elevate their social standing to new heights. The reverse is true as well of course, and upsetting the goddess of revelry is a quick path to a cheerless existence.



Zenia is easy to write off as something of a simple-minded goddess. She doesn’t particularly care for grand plots be they mortal or divine, nor does she seem to have the head for even mortal concepts of knowledge. Some would therefore conclude that she’s a little dense or airheaded; Zenia would say that she doesn’t have time to consider big-picture things like that. Someone else will figure it out, and she can focus on the truly important stuff like what to wear, or the lyrics to a bard’s particularly raunchy song.

Despite this, one would be remiss to write the goddess off as one-note. Her displeasure for rational thought and responsibility coupled with an apparently inborn love of festivities makes her as much of a boon to others as a constant disruption, happy to throw off schemes and well-laid plans of mortals and deities alike to arrange a kicking get-together.

Something troubling lies behind the behavior however, as Zenia seems more comfortable amidst a party and tends to drift onwards to her next target when the booze, food and fraternizing starts drying up. The same shirking of duties that she consistently tries to foist on others is how she approaches her own existence as a deity as well and seems to loathe being called on to do anything deific in an official capacity. She prefers to spread cheer and move on, taking life one day at a time, conflicted about her own role in any grand design and chafing at the thought of having to take responsibility for just about anything.



In her unbound, mind-warping form, Zenia is no more a physical entity than a splash of colour in the eye of the beholder or a tune hummed from right behind the listener. She is energy given form, an unbridled light and frequency that tries to overpower all it passes into exuding the same bristling joy that she normally espouses. Survivors will remember frenzied and jumbled melodies, burning pains in their legs and arms as all adrenaline drains, and so much need to appreciate life that they might not appreciate anything ever again.

Given the danger and fragility of such a state, Zenia is most typically shaped as an athletic young woman with long blonde hair, clad in regalia that either adheres to local customs, or baubles and regal elegance that doesn’t seem to originate anywhere in the world. She has a penchant for appearing as an unimportant woman of the local species happy to participate in some revelry, but the knowledgeable will probably suspect something.

Aside from some grammatical errors such as the constant use of ellipsis,at first glance we hold the issue with the aspect as it is since it does not state any of the limits of mana are, what they can be used to achieve. Our concern over it is largely that you go into a lot of detail about what magic might be considered but not what it really is, what it can do, or how the mortal might be able to use it. Next you go on to state that magic cannot exist without mana, which we had, I believe, discussed would step on the toes of those who wish to do magic without having to go through this monopolized mana. In our eyes, a god of magic should state exactly how it works but rather show how it can be used. Rework it more, give us a tangible feel as this is an important Aspect.

Next, moving onto Aethel’s personality. It comes across at points as a bit contradictory as you refer to her as a trickster but also wholly literal and will follow instruction, deals, and the likes to the letter. It frankly does not make much sense as a trickster is someone who, while yes can operate within a ruleset, is someone who is well versed at BENDING those rules or finding loopholes to exploit. Next you allude to her having a darker nature, that should be elaborated upon as that could mean a wide variety of things, does it include murder? Pranks? The general subjugation of an entire species?

I do like, however, that Aethel cannot ever get good at playing instruments. I find it funny.

Due to the aspect, the sheet is currently rejected. Once you rework it, we will see about including Aethel, as I do like your concept with her and I know you can make it work!

SHE IS THE DANCING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET~

Kho, you never fail to give an interesting god in Divinus games past. The Aspect of Dance is one that is INCREDIBLY narrow and had it been anyone other than you, we would probably have not allowed it. Yet, here you are, giving us this 5 paragraph explanation that explains in depth of what Dance is and how Rosalind is going to use it. I, personally, cannot stress enough how great it is to see this and I know we can expect to see some great stories come from it.She is not just the Goddess of Dance, but you encapsulate that she IS dance but she is afraid to truly give in!

Wholly accepted as it is.

Act you, like Kho, are a true veteran of Divinus.

And you start with a modern man in a suit for a ‘normal form’ which caused Cyclone to start frothing at the mouth once more. You have caused no less than five deaths to occur before his tranquilizers kicked in.

Yet, with Deimos we grow weary for he is a God of Domination. When we see gods that are meant to be pure evil, that implies that they cannot and will only act out of their own self interest with disregard to everyone else which would be fine if it were not for the fact that being such an evil god requires much nuance. In your Aspect you do not attempt to hide the fact of how much evil Deimos will bring into the world, wanting little more to enslave and dominate all of mortal kind and even the gods. I do see potential in it, however, as it is, it just reads as a bit cartoonishly evil.

This is also supported by the fact that his personality points to how cruel and depraved he is as the self-thought ‘perfect’ being. There is nothing but an evil god, not in the same manner, almost in the same vein as Molag Bal from the Elder Scrolls. This will no doubt cause much clashing with other gods and it almost seems as if he will just be the god who sparks wars for his own benefits only to get smacked back down into place by a coalition of gods or even the big Monarch himself. We have had gods who are inherently evil in Divinus before, I played one, Vakk, the God of Speech (Deception). While he was exceptionally fun to play at first, he became boring very quickly. I caution you against playing an outwardly evil god nor do I want such a god to be present, which again as I speak from experience, makes for drab and boring storytelling over time.

For the time being, Deimos is rejected. Once he is revamped to be less of an opposing force to literally just about every other god, we can come back to see him.

Aspect
Domination
Domination is the all consuming power to manipulate, shape and tear out all the good and life out of the Cosmos for his own power and indulgence, to mention his place as the ultimate authority.

Deimos is the god of pure evil dominance and power brought by a corruptive mind. He named himself at his creation, "Deimos" which means Master. Whether his power over domination is in relation to the demonic, the devilish or just pure trouble making, it is just as wicked. This god will try everything that is dark and wicked. Deimos will be attempting the horrors of genocide to prove his domination over all life. Maybe introduce enslavement to incite the greed in Humanity, or other mortals. He could incite jealousy and pride to cause infighting and wars, mass infanticides, tortures, and is the driving force for mortals to become something worse, and all for his power and selfish gain.

He isn't just a tyrannical ruler, yes, he is not above establishing fascistic rule, or controlling societies through fear of various means, including wicked magicks of the Occult to assert mastery over the lives of entire cultures, and he will do anything to reach greater heights of power, even Cosmicide! However, like The Devil, a lot of his power comes from what people do to cooperate with him. He likes to reinforce negative emotions of others, and himself to exert magical control. For example, he can enslave others through their tempers, their lusts, their ambitions, greed and addictions.

Those who want power may receive a visit from Deimos. This unassuming or even benign sounding individual may fulfill their innermost desires, regardless of the form they take, in exchange for a little something else, which could be vague, but always ends up with the duped individual giving something precious, like their freedom, over to this evil deity.

For example, Faust asked for power, riches, youth and beauty from Lucifer, in exchange for his soul. Deimos would allow those who receive his "blessings" to enjoy something in return for their servitude, but when it's time for them to pay, Deimos would take both their blessings for himself and add it to his collection, permanently, thus Deimos would receive an eternal servant, either literally or by legacy. ((Legacy being, the individual still contributing to Deimos despite not being in his direct service.))

Domination as an aspect, however, cannot just make life perfect for the recipient of the "service" of Deimos, at least, not for the long term, no matter how deceptive he can make the circumstances. The recipient of his empowerment must put work into his or her own agenda to establish a long lasting legacy, and stay on top. Domination could also attract a lot of unwanted attention from the envious. Thus, Deimos could risk losing potential servants due them being too successful.

Persona
Before Deimos becomes my mostly original version in this role play, he will still be god of Dominance, but he will stand for being a god of rulers, empowering rulers so they can serve the people, protect them from disorder and generally provide a large buffer zone between civilization and anarchy/brutality. I see in the beginning future of Deimos that he starts as a benevolent deity who slowly begins to grow embittered and vengeful due to circumstances that repeatedly hit him throughout the eons. He would be a powerful deity that attempts to protect and prosper his people over the eons, sometimes through direct rule, other times through proxy, only through repeated disaster to strike, disrupting life for him and his subjects through great tragedies.

The wiping out of his societies, maybe through barbarians/powerful NPCs, and the eradication of everyone and everything he loves, in a never ending personal Hell changes him. No longer would be an Arthurian like archetype that loves and cares for his people, but he grows cold, then hateful, and finally gives up his soul, figuratively speaking. No longer will suffer the loss of his civilizations, his birth right and the loves of his life, his friends and children, but that he would forever be in his rightful place in domination over the universe. He would thus spite the natural order and never suffer again.

Henceforth, verything is about him. He can have good qualities, but they are literally infinitely lesser than his malevolence against others who have whatever he doesn’t. This being is a believer that the only good in life that should exist is his, and he will not only enjoy inflicting suffering on the unsuspecting and innocent but dance on their graves to get it.
In addition to the above. Deimos would likely attempt to make a wager with The Monarch himself. Which is stronger, Evil, or Good? Deimos would stop at nothing to prove his way is best, and even, the only way for a "perfect" universe, with him at the top. In addition, he is truly cruel and depraved. What may make this even more frightening is that there may be some things about Deimos that are actually, good. But he always embraces who he is without guilt, without any remorse, and he is cold and uncaring about the tremendous suffering he will be directly causing. When he wants to be at his worst, he shows his victims his "true face" whether that's some kind of metaphor or a more direct threat is unknown to mortals at large, but basically, he is threaten to irrevocably change them into a demonic creature against their will.

Deimos sees himself as the ultimate being, even above The Monarch of Creation. It is because of his nature to dominate and cause suffering for his own selfish gain that he will always be infinitely more evil than any of the good he might (probably accidentally) cause.

With all that said, he is not stupid. He will not try to assassinate or get rid of The Monarch directly. He is far too clever for that.

True Form
A great, red dragon with a third eye. This being is a truly terrifying sight to behold. He stands multiple times as tall as a real life T-Rex, and breaths fire, of course. Some legends say that he even has a more terrifying form that transforms the souls of those who see him into pure evil.


Musical theme
youtube.com/watch?v=R8sU0FGmqRc

Much of what I think has already been told to you in that informal review I gave on Discord the other day, but I’ll reiterate here what still bears relevance. Essentially it boils down to me thinking that there’s definitely potential in Luck as an Aspect because even if you’re basically just cursing or blessing mortals to the exclusion of all else, that can come in enough different forms that there’s still wiggle room and variety in what gets done. The manner in which you go about doing your things probably won’t feel too limited or repetitive, I just worry that the ‘spirit’ of your posts might so to speak. In other words that they could feel detached and episodic which might lead to you eventually getting tired of doing the same or similar sorts of things.

So the ideal remedy is that you build towards something over time, and that happens naturally and easily if you give your character certain ambitions to drive for or values that they seek to promote. I’ve already suggested you do something like that, maybe in the form of some quirky things under personality so that there’s more to her than just ‘impulsive, childish, trickster type’ but it doesn’t seem as though you’ve spelled out anything like that.

It’s fine to look like a child of whatever species is present, but just to clarify the true form shouldn’t vary based upon who is nearby. I think that the ‘true form’ is meant to be the orb of light that she manifests as towards other gods -- nothing particularly exciting there, but it’s fine.

So in case my meaning was unclear, the Aspect and the Persona section could work as is, I just wish that if you don’t change them in the manners suggested above to assuage my concerns, then you at least start talking among others and ironing out some plans for long term plotlines etc. The goal of these thorough reviews of mine is to try to help people polish what they’ve got and think of compelling or interesting ideas so that there’s as little burnout and abandoning of characters as possible; I just want you to understand that’s where i’m coming from and not a place of saying ‘you suck at sheets’, ‘I don’t like the character’, or anything like that, haha.

Your sheet is accepted but I once again make the case for my strong suggestion that you maybe try to give her more concrete and meaningful goals or values so that you have something driving your posts and making them feel less detached and episodic, or failing that, that you at least talk to others and work out some long-term plotlines and such with them to get started.

Because we’re cool (I think? Saucer, are we still cool? Haha!) I feel like I can be upfront and say I see some potentially big problems with your sheet here. Lauder and Frettzo both like what you have and didn’t have any real complaints, but let’s start with the issues I see with the Aspect.

Wine is quite specific as Aspects go and I’ll repeat the prattling that I give to almost anyone with a specific one, namely that it can get boring if all your posts are about the same thing. But you’re a skilled and pretty interactive writer so I’m confident you’ll be able to do varied and interesting things and make that work well for long enough to earn more Aspects. That said, Wine still does have some unique issues arising here that many other niche and highly specific Aspects wouldn't.

Of course we can look to real mythos and there’s very famous and important wine gods like Dionysus, but he was also the patron grape-growing, theater (that was another big role), and just general partying. Revelry you could say, and you’re going to have to share this space with both an actual Revelry god and maybe even with Kho’s Dance goddess. It’s a pretty small corner that’s looking to be quite cramped between the three of you, but perhaps this can be turned into a good thing if the two or three of you get to play off one another and work closely together and work out plots etc. rather than angrily shaking fists and cursing each other for any toe-stepping or thunder-stealing. As a side note, I generally like strange and interesting quirks, and it is quite the quirk that Jiugui’s power only works upon those that willingly imbibe upon his drinks. You’d think that a wine god could intoxicate people at will, maybe even have some wine-breath so strong that the vaporous alcohol gives nearby people a buzz, haha. But maybe he can do those things and just doesn’t because it wouldn’t be nice?

That’d be something perhaps more related to persona, though. On that note let’s segue into his personality: you have a charming and fun section for that which paints a good flavor. Very well done there, and I can already imagine the comedy and dialogue that could come from this. It bears mentioning that I think Lauder is trying to go for a pretty active primordial in the Monarch. That’s relevant because being a completely incompetent and irresponsible slacker would’ve been more or less just brushed off in past iterations, allowed to go on as purely comedic relief under more detached primordials, but I can see some tensions arising this time around that leads to the Monarch actually doing something because of it this time. Still, I imagine you might have considered that and done this intentionally -- pissing off the Monarch can’t be that bad, can it? We’ll all eagerly wait to see what (if anything) he does to Jiugui when the guy screws up!

The True Form is quite thematic, though remember that True Forms are meant to be quite deadly to mortals that stray too close. Rather than just making him a bit uglier and larger, perhaps you could go with what I said above about the idea of liquor-breath so potent that the vapors in the air become intoxicating -- maybe even to the point of deadliness.

Because you are Saucer and we already know you and trust in your ability to make more challenging things like this work, I’m confident enough to approve your sheet basically as-is even without you doing anything to address the concerns I laid out. Still, I’d be interested in hearing your response on the Discord.

The Aspect is described concisely and straightforwardly enough -- it’s plants after all, so nothing too crazy going on. You’ve mentioned ents in the Discord I think -- perhaps allude to the potential to give sapience and even the ability to move to plants if she wants? I don’t know if ents as you envision them are a species all their own designed specifically to do those things, or if they’re more like otherwise normal trees that were at some point ‘blessed’ or ‘empowered’ with those abilities.

The personality is the sheet’s strong part; I like what you aim for in that she is haughty yet not necessarily disdainful of others’ creations, that she wants to beautify the world, and that she takes serious qualms with civilization. All three point make for an interesting character and each one also enables different interactions and story arcs, so despite the straightforward and simple Aspect I’m not worried about you running out of things to do or having the character become isolated from the rest IC.

Her slithering around without legs in her true form and making plants simultaneously wither and die all around in her true form was quite a vivid and interesting picture in my mind; good job there! Since true forms are again meant to be too much for mortals to withstand, perhaps flesh too is made to grow (read: twist and mutate) and rot with frightening speed in her presence? Or maybe plants just grow on (or inside of) unfortunate mortals that come too close? Just some macabre food for thought.

Most of these reviews are quite verbose, but once again, my brevity can only be a compliment. Means I didn’t find much to nitpick or complain about :)

The sheet is happily accepted.

You have a very well-written character sheet here, you took a relatively narrow Aspect and you managed to make something of it, which is something we amongst the GMs do love to see. You make some great use of the imagery and metaphors of the cold that give credit to you as a writer. Of course, we must always caution people with narrow aspects such as these though, we do hope that you have enough ideas of things to do brewing in that brain of yours to assuage our concerns of you making a tundra or two and falling out.

The personality does give us a little concern for Chailiss is described as a bit of a reclusive god, one that may not have reason to come out of his winter filled fun lands. We do not wish to see anyone become self-isolating but we know you tend to thrive on interaction and may have plans to counteract this. That said, of course, these are just the concerns we see with the sheet itself and I know you won’t just abandon the Winter Lord to sit on a Frozen Throne like Arthas in Warcraft.

The true form is quite thematic and evocative, I certainly enjoy it.

Sheet is accepted without much other word.

Well you cheated and wrote your CS alongside Cyclone so you already appeased him without incurring my own wrath.

My concern is the Doom seems to be an Aspect that comes across as just narrow enough that it might not have a whole lot going on, we may just see the same things going on with it. A lot of it seems to be coinciding with it just bringing about the end of things, though I do like how you have described it. You have described it in a rather chilling fashion as Doom is the end of things, no matter which way that end comes it happens. Props to you on that one.

The persona is exceptionally well-written and it gives me a good idea as to what the Monarch of All will be dealing with as this arrogant upstart god claims that everything, including Him, will end. He is nihilistically arrogant and that offers a flavor that is only enhanced with him not favoring neither mortals nor the divine.

Your sheet is accepted. This review may be brief but that is legitimately because I had little fault to actually find. Good job.

The patent Knowledge god.

And a sheet that’s very much on the minimalist side, and I had similar concerns with Palus.

The biggest concern we have with Epsilon is that this narrow aspect he may not have an incredible amount to do, not enough plans to follow through on. But you have assuaged my doubts for the time being as Frettz has brought some of your ideas to our attention. That said, I think that the Aspect needs to be expanded on a bit more, not saying you haven’t given us plenty of ideas as to exactly how you wish to use this Aspect, but I think it needs a good bit of meat on the bare bones of it. It is just that what is had now is a bit narrow and deserving of a bit more exploring. What is it all he can do to shape the world around him using his expert knowledge? He can teach well and invent well enough but what does that mean for when mortals come around? What is it that the Aspect of Knowledge can be used for in the grand scheme of the roleplay? Once these are answered I will be more than happy with Epsilon.

The personality is where we actually did like Epsilon, he comes across as vengeful and petty which is not something we often see in a knowledge god. Though you aren’t giving us much of his desires past him just wanting to collect knowledge and hoard it, how will he interact with people? What is it going to be like if he finds those who seek to hide knowledge away from the masses? Does he even care about such trepidation amongst mortals of knowledge is threatened to be destroyed?

Then we come to the True Form, you do make an exception that mortals can withstand the form for about a day. Since you make this to be the exception and not the norm, some of us are willing to allow it. I will allow it.

The sheet is accepted with the caveat that you can expand upon your aspect and persona a bit more, he comes across as a bit one-dimensional and I feel that needs to change.

Much of what was said to Saucer for Jiugui can be repeated here.

Now Revelry is a broader Aspect than Wine I think, and I can see you quite easily and naturally doing some things with it, and also broadening out to similar Aspects that might include Song etc. So the main question I suppose is whether you’ve thought this through and are convinced that you’ll find enough to do, even with your toes being stepped on a little by the Dance and Wine gods. Do you have any ideas about creating cults of revelers that run off into the woods, or maybe even whole civilizations? Or interacting with all the mortal civilizations that others have pop up to spread theater and the like? If so (and I imagine this is the case) then I’m satisfied in the end. Lauder and Frettzo had nothing but compliments to give to your sheet as well.

The indecisiveness and impulsivity indicated in persona give you carte blanche to do all sorts of seemingly random things without it being out of character, which leaves your options open and is good. This is somewhat offset by her apparently rejecting responsibility (again in a very similar vein to Jiugui; they’re definitely twins haha) and being absorbed by things like what clothes to wear etc., which are traits that don’t necessarily lend themselves towards it being easy for you to find ways to get involved and be proactive in doing things in the story. But that’s not a problem or indictment of any sort, just something to keep in mind as it makes this sort of character harder. I don’t really know you, but many others here do, and as you were good enough to be a GM for one of the past iterations I’ll trust in your ability to make something like this work.

I’m very fond of the true form! It stands out and is thematically appropriate.

All around a solid sheet. We have no real criticisms for you, so you’re of course accepted.

I’m glad that you started again with a blank slate because the results were good: we’re much fonder of this character than of your previous one. There seems to be considerably more potential, and a character such as this will be a change of pace from your past ones that I can remember.

The Aspect is concisely described but broad and useful. Combined with the laid back personality, this gives Arvum the ability to pretty easily slide in and interact with any mortal civilization that you want, and probably the proclivity to do so. On the topic of persona, we have here an effective goody two-shoes, but that’s not at all a bad thing. Him being prepared to stand up to betrayers and protect children etc. will probably give ample reason and justification to interact with others in the cast and setting, and will probably likewise help the setting from getting too grimdark. His lax attitude and not caring about worship or devotions to him is also somewhat unique in this cast, which helps him stand out in a good way.

I do quite like the true form -- it’s nothing crazy, but just a bit odd so that it has a unique twist. It’s certainly thematic too, and the effects of his presence are my favorite part. Like Rainbow’s Knowledge God you set him up as an exception in that being in his vicinity is comparatively not so deadly to mortals, which is appropriate and fitting, but the detail that everything instead becomes laborious and exhausting is a good one. I imagine that if conflict or fights ever do erupt, that might be his move -- sapping the strength and will from whatever adversary he’s facing so that they become sluggish and tired.

Your sheet is happily accepted as is. It’s short but sweet and we have no criticisms or alterations to suggest.

There is potential here. To be succinctly though, upon first appearance I’m getting vibes that this character seems more tailored to running off and doing his own thing rather than contributing to worldbuilding or interacting much.

My concerns can begin with the Aspect; what do you intend to do with Fortitude? ‘Heavily conditioned and quite narrow,’ were words that some of the other GMs used to describe it in our conversation; however, Lauder in particular was still a fan of the idea of Fortitude. So sell me and Frettzo on it -- what specific, concrete powers can you think of for it? Perhaps it’s just my lack of creativity, but I genuinely don’t see many uses for such an Aspect. Perhaps you could elucidate some of your intent and plans to us; it may just be that you’re going for some theme that I don’t see. Are you perhaps going to mostly focus on making and inspiring champions and the like?

The personality section exacerbates some of my above concerns. There is nothing wrong with gods that value free-will and individuals and chafe against some of their loftiers peers -- I’m actually happy that at least a few of the caste are looking to be like that. What has me somewhat concerned is that we have this combination of a non-interventionist deity (who would like nothing more than to disappear, you say) of an aspect that’s so challenging to use and which doesn’t necessitate much interaction with others. There’s perhaps some saving grace: placing emphasis upon his distaste for those who treat their mortal worshipers as expendable, perhaps extended to those who are vain enough to demand too much worship (however he might judge that) or just abuse mortals in general, could let you create some interesting conflicts that lead to posts and story arcs.

That said the quality of writing in your sheet is good and I do err towards accepting it without any major alterations. Help push me over the edge though -- respond to some of these things on the Discord and tell us a bit about your plans, and you’ll be accepted. I’m going to put your sheet in limbo in the meantime.

I was musing a while ago that we seem to have an unusually benevolent pantheon this time, with many outright goody two-shoes and few true evil sorts, much less ‘chaotic evil’ types. So there’s space for a Gravemind-esque, parasitic horror.

While Parasites might seem niche upon a first glance I think there’s actually a lot to it: in a sense it’s broad because you can do everything from cause zombie apocalypses to pestering mortals with mosquitoes, and you could perhaps even create entire sub-civilizations of vampires, ghouls, and the like that live in the sewers and act as parasites for the various mortal realms. There is a lot to do and explore here, and I’m cautiously optimistic that you’ll be able to find plenty of cool things to do, interact with people through messing with their creations and afflicting everything with various malevolent biota, and that you won’t run out of ideas anytime soon.

A bestial sort of personality that cares for nothing besides the satiation of its own hunger and propagating its spawn is certainly thematic, though I do think it’d be more fun to interact with your character if there was more to it, maybe some odd quirks or more aesthetic goals that it has -- perhaps there could be some sympathy towards those thieves and other outcasts and ‘parasites’ that fall under the domain of its aspect? Since Yeseris is at least intelligent and calculating enough to make a temporary ally (I liked the analogy of the wild beast that you keep away from your throat with meat) there’s at least something here, so ultimately I’m satisfied and won’t demand any changes unless you want to make them; my musings about adding quirks or something was just a suggestion.

The true form of some sort of centipede-monster is alright. I do like the constant swarm of disease and pests all around though! That’s a fitting way to kill any mortal foolish enough to come too close.

Your sheet is accepted -- I think it’s workable as is and that it can help fill the obligatory (and as of yet, somewhat lonely) niche of ‘bad guys’.

Homura

The Arbiter

HONOR. To be honorable is to adhere to a code of conduct. Honor consists of sacred laws that preserve the order and sanctity of existence, and manifests as virtue, valor, truth, and compassion. Without honor, an individual cannot be respected. Without honor, a society cannot be secure. Honor is the nobility of an individual, and the spiritual structure and integrity of a society. Honor begets order and strength against chaos and despair. Honor requires sacrifice. Honor is the truth. The law is honor.

In the world, honor must be upheld. When faith and dignity fade, Homura will restore their honor, or purge that which putrefies the beauty of creation. Honor is the armor that wards the world from the vile presence of corruption, and Homura invokes the power of oaths when mortals make their vows and perform their pledges. Those that break their oaths are cursed in accordance to the punishment prescribed when the oath was taken. To speak a lie is to gain the ire of Homura. Honor is the blade against the untruth, and Homura magically marks those that have committed crimes against the self and the world with eldritch runes that reveal their shameful nature. Only those that have been redeemed can be freed from their punishment.

As a goddess, Homura's presence evokes the power of honor and invests virtuous mortals near her with courage and strength. She strives to introduce and incorporate laws and rules within society in order to produce more honorable people in the world. Honor begets order, and commands respect; through her edict, Homura can imbue mortals with an imperious aura that instills in others an innate knowledge of their rank in society and reputation among their peers. Only through creating such a foundation can there be sacred change and beauty, an awakening of what it means to be divine, and a line that separates mere nihilistic motion from defiant endeavors.


Homura is a self-proclaimed divine warrior set against the insidious poison that she pontificates has been poured into the decanter of creation. She seeks out the sinful and executes justice, often with a trial of combat. She is inspired by the struggles of mortals, and finds those that deserve redemption, and guides them on their journeys of sacred transformation. She protects the faithful from the avarice of the perverted and the fiendish.

Homura exuberates conviction with every word and action, and is unwavering in her commitment to upholding her honor and the honor of the world around her. She becomes easily ashamed by any form of mistake or moment of weakness she considers sinful, and can easily lose herself in a quest to restore her honor, ignoring any and all detriments she may suffer along the way. Her anger is easily assuaged by promises of atonement and simple praise, though she only reveals her more gentle characteristics to those that have earned her trust.


Homura has a disciplined and dangerous mien, often gazing upon others with a cold fire in her eyes. Before mortals she appears as a human with red hair and red eyes, wielding a spear, and wearing simple red garb. She prefers to remain modest and amiable in appearance, considering extravagant displays of power to be excessive and irksome.



Her true form is that of a colossal fire from which emerges thousands of serpentine spears that surge forth and impale the world around her. Her flames do not sear that which is pure, and her blades do not harm the innocent, though her radiance will blind any mortal that sees her.